The Oil of Lanius
by Korkyra
Summary: This is set after s3, but it disregards s4. Gabrielle and Xena have been reunited but there is no Alti or vision. Reunited, Xena and Gabrielle face more heartache as Xena’s darkness is cruelly exploited and unleashed.
1. Chapter 1

The Oil of Lanius

By Korkyra

Gabrielle and Xena are lovers. There is no graphic sex in this Fiction. If this bothers you (the lovers' part rather than the lack of graphic action, but I am guessing that will bother some!) or is illegal for you to read in your neck of the woods, please do not continue.

The warrior smiled as she entered the cave. She looked at the bundle of blankets on the floor and the blond hair that was the only visible part of the bard.

"Still asleep," she said to the large palomino horse standing yards away. The horse neighed in response, and as her mistress was back to guard the little one, her job done, she slunk out of the cave to find her own breakfast.

"Thanks Argo," called out Xena softly, and in reply she saw Argo's tail swish. The bard still had not stirred but she whispered, "Gabrielle," and satisfied that her partner was still asleep, she brought the rabbits over to the fire in order to dress them. Once the rabbits were ready she skewered them and let them gently cook over the open flame. She then rifled through the medicine bag to find the herbs she required. She filled a smaller pot with water and while she waited for it to boil she approached Gabrielle. She gently removed some of the covers, gently checking the bard's temperature with her hand. She wasn't hot, but it was impossible not to notice how pale she was. Xena gently stroked the blond hair and two eyelids fluttered and within a few seconds opened. "It can't be morning already, surely?" The voice was sleepy and slightly slurred. The rumble of laughter that greeted the statement soon put paid to the little hope the bard held that it wasn't time to get up. She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. Xena was watching her with concern. "How are you feeling?" she asked tenderly.

Gabrielle blinked a couple of times and then rubbed her stomach. "About the same," she said despondently.

Xena wrapped her arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "The water will be ready in a moment, and then I'll get some herbs into you."

"Thanks Xena." Xena tightened her arms around her, enjoying the close contact that had been denied her, she thought forever.

"We don't have to travel today. We should rest a few more days. Renwa will still be there."

"But Hercules and Iolaus won't be. Xe, I'm Ok. It's probably Joxer's lamb stew." Gabrielle buried her head in Xena's shoulder. She was upset by her physical frailness; she felt she was letting Xena down yet again. She knew that no matter how long they would be together, no matter what they would go through, a little part of her would always be afraid of being left behind, of being sent back to Potedia as she didn't measure up to the Warrior Princess's exacting standards.

Xena intuitively knew that this was on her partner's mind. They had been through it so many times, and whatever she did to reassure Gabrielle, the little insecurities still emerged on the odd occasion. And at present every emotion appeared magnified.

Xena turned back to Gabrielle and spoke forcefully but sincerely, "That doesn't matter, you're what matters." She tightened her grip on the bard. "I'm never letting you go, not ever, you know that, right?" There was nervousness in her voice that made her sound so vulnerable that Gabrielle gave her a kiss on the cheek and they both sat in silence lost in their thoughts.

Xena broke the silence. "It might not be the stew, after all I'm fine."

Gabrielle snorted, "Xena you've survived your own cooking, you've built up immunity." Xena gave her a mock glare and kissed her on the head again and moved to the pot of boiling water. She poured it into a mug and added some herbs, gently moving the mug to mix them. She then brought it back to the bard who accepted the mug with a nod of the head. She held the cup breathing in the steam for a few moments with her eyes shut. Xena watched her with a mixture of pride, love and anxiety. It was unlike the bard to fall ill, and Xena didn't want to take any chances, especially now. As if she was reading her mind Gabrielle looked up at Xena and smiled, "I'm sure I'll be fine, let's head out after breakfast." Xena stared at her for a long while and nodded and then busied her self by taking the meat from the flame. She frowned as she removed the meat from the skewers and tipped them on the plates, blowing at her now tender fingers. She handed the bemused bard a plate and they both stared at the crispy pieces of black that was rabbit. Gabrielle tentatively bit into it, and started to chew and chew and chew! Xena bit into it and immediately spat it out. "Raw, but how can that-. I'm sorry, Bri, I just wanted to make you breakfast," said Xena mournfully. Gabrielle smiled weakly and removed the half chewed piece of meat from her mouth and put it back on the plate and putting it down she wrapped her arms around her taller companion. She rested her chin on Xena's shoulder and Xena instinctively put her arm on Gabrielle's upper arm, gently caressing the large scar. They sat in comfortable silence until Gabrielle lifted her head and said, "thank you."

"For what? Assaulting your taste buds. Murdering breakfast."

"For making me feel loved. For trying to do something you hate, that isn't one of your many skills just for me."

Xena smiled, "I'm only sorry that I've set your rehabilitation backwards," and Xena laid her head on the bard's shoulder. "You're my life Bri, you know that?" The words were spoken gently and again they carried a sense of vulnerability in them. Would they always feel like this Gabrielle wondered? So insecure, on edge and anxious.

No it wasn't like this, before the separation, Gabrielle thought. We survived so much, the betrayals, the lies, the anger, and the deaths of our children and grew stronger, from it. We were happy again, until Hope reappeared. Gabrielle shut her eyes remembering the look of sheer panic and pain on Xena's face as she plunged with Hope, with Xena and Joxer's anguished cries ringing in her ears, to what she assumed would be her death. She knew they just needed to find their place together again. It's still so raw-Xena's pain at her "death" and Gabrielle's bewilderment at returning. She absently removed her hand from Xena's shoulder and placed it on her own, where another scar was present under her top. She looked up and saw the concern in Xena's eyes asking the question without words. "I'm fine," she said with a gentle shake of her head. "So what do Hercules and Iolaus want? Will it matter we're late?" She was eager to change from the morose thoughts she was having. She was back with Xena, and for a short time at least there were no war-lords to fight, any towns to save, and no-one to rescue.

"Nah, it won't matter, especially as Joxer has gone to tell them we're late. They want to see you," Xena's voice became gentle again for the second sentence and her face for a moment screwed up in pain before becoming impassive again.

"Me? But Why? I-oh," the bard stopped suddenly as she realised why her friends wanted to see her.

"They mourned you, everyone did," said Xena trying to keep the emotion from her voice. "They just want to see you're ok."

"Thank you," mouthed the bard and drew Xena in even tighter. She could feel the shuddering of the warrior and held on for a few minutes until she could feel the sobs subsiding and Xena's tears stopped running down her front. "OK?" she asked, and the warrior nodded.

Gabrielle thought of how long it took her to get over Xena's death. It was days before she stopped expecting Xena to disappear, weeks before she could relax while Xena was out of her sight, even if she was only going to bathe and months and months before the nightmares stopped. She gave a shudder; even recently she would wake up reaching for Xena checking she was there, as Xena had done every night since their reconciliation. Gabrielle was gone for so much longer, and Xena had to relate the news to her family as well as the Amazons and neither took it very well, both blaming her for their loss. She couldn't begin to imagine of the emotional turmoil that Xena had suffered; to most other people Xena was a toughened, stern ex-warlord, but to Gabrielle alone did she share her doubts, insecurities and guilt. Bereft of the bard and support from any family and friends and still mourning Solon, Gabrielle was surprised that Xena neither took her own life nor resumed her old warlord ways, keeping an old promise. Made before they were lovers, before either realised the depth of their love, Gabrielle knew that it was agreed by Xena not believing it would ever happen. But when the worst did, Xena kept it.

Back together for little over a month, it was still awkward and poignant; with Xena the most emotionally open Gabrielle had ever seen her, unusually sharing her experiences honestly and without prompting. But Gabrielle was concerned that the worry over her sickness would push the emotionally fragile warrior princess over the edge, thought Gabrielle ruefully and she held Xena tightly until she composed herself.

"So shall we head out now, warrior cook? We've got some bread in the pack."

"Sounds good to me, Bard. We should make Renwa by nightfall. Did I mention there was a festival on at the moment?" She laughed at the excited expression on the bard's face. Gabrielle got up, by instantly regretted it as she was hit by a flash of dizziness. Xena was by her side in an instant. "Scrap that. We can stay here and rest!" She said in a firm voice.

"I'm fine Xe; I just got up too quickly. It's the cooking. I just have to face facts that Joxer and you are trying to poison me. It's a clever way to ensure that I do all the cooking." She moved gingerly over to the bags and started to pack her things away.

"MMmmmmm," said an unconvinced warrior who stood still, with hands on hips giving the bard her best stare.

"You know that doesn't work with me anymore, Xe," said Gabrielle.

"OK but at least sit down and let me pack up, please," Xena gave Gabrielle her most charming smile. No wonder no man-or woman-could resist her, thought the bard. I certainly can't. She nodded and eased herself down onto the ground. Xena busied herself collecting all their gear and stuffing into their saddlebags desperately trying to ignore Gabrielle's looks of horror as she put the items in the wrong bags. She whistled for Argo to return, which the palomino did and after loading her up she strode over to the bard. She lent down and kissed Gabrielle on the nose. "If you're not feeling well-"She held out her hand for the bard, which she took and pulled herself up.

"You'll be the first to know. Anyway what is the festival celebrating?" They walked out of the cave shielding their eyes against the sun.

"Aah, yes I was wondering when you were going to ask that." Xena looked at her feet as she kicked the ground. Gabrielle eyes narrowed as she watched the unusually abashed warrior. She closed her eyes and groaned. "Its fishing isn't it? By the gods we're going to a fishing festival." She looked at the now squirming warrior who was suddenly most interested in her boots. Gradually the head rose and the blue eyes that were full of mischief looked straight into her green ones. "Is there plenty of food to try?"

"As much as you want!" The warrior knew she was convincing the food obsessed bard.

"And you won't cook?" The warrior feigned a hurt look and then gave a wide grin.

"I've learnt that lesson, Gabrielle." There was a pause. "You could always try squid again." Xena tried to control her quivering mouth but failed and she broke out into a chuckle. Gabrielle tried to look angry but the warrior's laughter was infectious.

"OK warrior that'll cost you. Let me think how much." Gabrielle's eyes narrowed and Xena grabbed the bard's hand as they made their way towards the main road to Renwa.


	2. Chapter 2

Gabrielle and Xena are lovers. There is no graphic sex in this Fiction. If this bothers you (the lovers' part rather than the lack of graphic action, but I am guessing that will bother some!) or is illegal for you to read in your neck of the woods, please do not continue.

It had been a pleasant day travelling. Xena had walked alongside Gabrielle in the warm sunshine and the bard's stomach and demeanour had improved throughout the day, although she didn't quite feel totally well. They were an hour's walk outside Renwa when Xena gently slipped her hand from Gabrielle's hand and in a movement that was only perceptible to Gabrielle who had learnt it over the years stood taller and straight and battle ready. She looked quizzically at Xena.

"This way," she said emotionlessly. They veered off the side of the road, leaving Argo grazing by a tree, running quickly and Gabrielle could now hear the cries of several people. Within moments they were in a clearing facing a group of ten bandits holding a couple, who appeared to be heading towards the festival. Both men had knives at their throats while a couple of bandits were rifling through their cart. As Xena moved purposefully forwards a woman stepped forward. "Good of you to join us, Xena. I knew you'd come."

Xena snarled at her and stepped forward. The woman held up her hand. "Uh-uh-uh, not any nearer Xena, or they get it." Xena kept her eyes on the woman and remained rooted to the spot.

"And lose the weapons," said a male voice. Its owner stood beside the woman and it became apparent to Xena that they were related somehow, as they were so similar. They were both tall and rakishly thin, the man taller than Xena, and both with sandy hair. Xena's eyes took in the entire environment. The couple were being held too far apart to get a good chakram toss in; one of them would certainly perish. No at present the best thing was to keep them talking. She could hear the bard's breathing behind her. At present they had said nothing about her weapon, if needed she could use the staff.

"The weapons," the male voice repeated and Xena rolled her eyes and threw her sword into the ground equal-distance between her and the male and female leaders. She then threw the chakram so it sat on her sword's hilt.

"Thank you Xena. You'll find that we are not unreasonable," the woman said. She turned to the men holding the captives. "Kill them." She said quietly.

Xena watched in horror as within second both captives lay on the ground in pools of blood. "Gods", she heard Gabrielle sob. Fighting back her revulsion and her wish to exact a painful and bloody revenge she stared at the woman.

"They were bait," the woman said with a shrug, "they did their job. It's you we want Xena." She turned to the other gang members. "We want them both alive, for now. GO!"

Xena leapt into a forward summersault landing by her sword and chakram. In a fluid movement she picked her chakram up and threw it, cutting the throats of two opponents that were on coming. Before it returned to her, she had picked up her sword and moved to engage in another two. Her anger at more senseless deaths fuelled her fight and within five strokes another lay dead at her feet. She could hear wood on metal and the bard grunting to know that Gabrielle was fighting for all she was worth. She wasn't in a position to turn around yet as her opponent was a proficient fighter. However he solely appeared interested in disabling Xena not killing her and that allowed Xena an opening, which she took, embedding her sword deep into his chest. As he dropped to the floor, she started to pull it out; Xena heard a cry that made her go cold. Gabrielle had been slashed across her left arm and had fallen back. Two thugs were walking slowly and menacing towards her, swords raised. Distracted, Xena never saw the blow coming and she fell to the floor still keeping her eyes on Gabrielle. Gods please no, she thought as one of the thugs grabbed the bard's staff and threw it away and then held her, and the other held a sword at her stomach. Xena was on her knees and never felt so helpless. Her heart was thumping in her chest, her mouth went dry and the words she tried to speak wouldn't come out. Her stomach was heaving and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Gabrielle mouthed I'm sorry. Xena nearly lost it there but was distracted by the sounds of clapping coming from the woman. Xena's sword was kicked away and she was grabbed by two soldiers, hauled to her feet and dragged towards the tall man and woman. She kept her eyes on the bard who was still being held with a sword against her stomach. She tore her eyes away and focused on the pair. The woman moved towards her. She was carrying a small brown sack which she was happily swinging by her side. The man made his way towards Gabrielle and Xena could see his eyes lighting up, and he licked his lips as he surveyed the bard's body. "Leave her," growled Xena. "What do you want?" She saw the bard shake her head almost imperceptibly and Xena knew what she was trying to tell her; don't give them what they want because of me. "Xena, Xena, Xena, what a pleasure to meet you." The woman walked around Xena keeping her distance. The man continued to ogle Gabrielle. "I'm Claudine and this is my brother Lindos. We're your biggest fans. Fans of the Warrior princess, destroyer of Nations, that is."

Xena winced when she heard those names. "Funny way of showing it," said Xena defiantly and winced as one of the soldiers backhanded Gabrielle, on Claudine's nod.

"You have changed, Xena," said Claudine. "And not for the better. I wouldn't answer back Xena because it's your little friend that will suffer. Now be a good girl and she won't get hurt."

"No Xena, ignore her," cried Gabrielle but this time instead of a slap Lindos approached her and started kissing her roughly and putting his hands on her rear.

"Stop, please," cried Xena with tears in her eyes. When she could see Gabrielle's face she could see she had tears rolling down her face. "What do you want me to do?"

"NO!" yelled Gabrielle. Xena stared at her pleading with her to understand. She didn't want to lose the bard again. She was sure she wouldn't be able to survive, the past few months had shown her that. Whatever it took to keep Gabrielle safe, it was a small price to pay. For once this wasn't her past catching up with her, yet Gabrielle might still suffer. When would it ever end? Please keep her safe, she thought. Maybe she could buy a bit of time to get out of this mess. She could see Gabrielle's eyes pose the question, but she shook her head. For the moment trying to break free was too dangerous. Not with a sword pointed at Gabrielle's stomach and the soldiers happy to kill if necessary. She turned to face Claudine who now had a water skin in her hand. "All I want Xena is for you to take a drink. Take a drink and your little friend is safe."

"Don't Xena. Please don't!" Gabrielle's voice was desperate as she yelled. Xena saw the sword move towards the exposed skin slowly and a few drops of crimson red blood make their way down the bard's taut stomach muscles. Xena looked at Claudine and nodded. The woman had a gleeful expression as she drew an ornate challis out of the sack. It was five inches tall and solid gold. There were several jewels around it as well as markings in a language Xena didn't recognise. She racked her memories to think of any challis that fitted this description but couldn't think of any. Claudine then poured the water into the challis and moved towards Xena. "It's from your own water skin, Xena, its water." The men tightened their grip as Claudine stood in front of Xena. She bent down and tipped the water into Xena's mouth. Xena stared at Gabrielle, hoping to impart the feelings of love and regret that she was feeling, and saw them mirrored in the bard's eyes. As Gabrielle mouthed I love you, Xena swallowed. Claudine turned to the men holding Gabrielle and said, "Keep the brat quiet," and one man gave Gabrielle an elbow to the head. Dazed she fell to the ground, anxiously watching Xena, and one of the soldiers holding her placed his large hand over her mouth making it impossible for her to talk.

She could see Xena finish drinking the water and she dropped the challis silently to the ground. She looked away, slowly, and to Gabrielle she appeared totally confused, and unaware of her surroundings. Gabrielle tried to cry out but it only came out as a muffled yell. She could hear Claudine speak quietly to the dazed Xena. "Your name is Xena, and you are part of my army. Do you understand?"

Xena nodded dumbly, and Gabrielle gave another cry which came out muted. She watched as the confusion in Xena's eyes was replaced with cold steel. Xena licked her lips as she spotted Gabrielle being held. She gave a smile. Gabrielle felt chilled after seeing Xena's smile, like one a predator may give to its prey. Xena walked purposefully towards Gabrielle. The soldiers let her go and Gabrielle lay on the ground watching as her partner approached. "Xena, Xena it is me, Gabrielle," said the bard as Xena approached. Xena looked at her without an ounce of recognition and kicked her in the ribs. Gabrielle screamed and Xena repeated the action twice and moved away, smiling. Gabrielle was left sobbing and curled into a ball. She looked up at Xena who now had a look of pleasure on her face. Xena bent down and gripped Gabrielle's hair tightly. "Xena please it's me," said Gabrielle again.

"So you've said, dear," she replied in a sarcastic tone. "And just who are you?" She tugged Gabrielle's hair again and she whimpered.

"Well?" said Xena more harshly and as well as tugging on her hair again she jabbed her fingers quickly in the side of Gabrielle's neck. The bard gasped and tried to take deep breaths. She kept looking at Xena, but that wasn't Xena, merely the body of her. Where her memories and personality had gone Gabrielle was unsure but she felt very afraid for them both.

"Your friend," gasped Gabrielle. Her vision was darkening and the pressure and pain in her head increasing. She knew that begging would do no good. Oh Xena, what have they done to you, thought the bard. Would she remember eventually what she had done? What would the knowledge do to her? The bard watched as Claudine moved towards Xena and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Good work, dear." Xena merely sneered. "That's her taken care of-"

"No!" Lindos strode forward. He turned to his sister. "Please sis, let me have her." Gabrielle watched the exchange with sickening realisation. She had little doubt what Lindos wanted with her. Her lifeline was nearly extinguished, which was the lesser of two evils, to die now at Xena's hand or to be raped then murdered by Lindos? Claudine stared at her brother for several heartbeats and then at Xena. Xena wiped the blood from Gabrielle's face and tasted it and smiled. "Go on then boy, have your pleasure. Although I doubt a runt like that will give you much satisfaction. " And with that Xena jabbed her fingers in Gabrielle's neck again. She took deep breaths in and closed her eyes trying to stop the dizziness. She needed to get a clear head to think how to get out of this mess but she knew the situation was bleak. Evil Xena was back and she was being handed over for certain death.

"Just make sure you kill her afterwards. He wants her dead." Claudine turned away from Gabrielle and motioned to Xena. Xena turned without a glance backwards at Gabrielle.

Lindos moved between the soldiers and Gabrielle. "You go, this will be my pleasure." He held Gabrielle tight as the two men laughed and winked at him. They scurried off and Gabrielle watched as Claudine spoke quietly to Xena and after handing her chakram and sword they walked away. Gabrielle's painful thoughts of Xena were interrupted by Lindos. He pushed her back against a tree and started to kiss her roughly while his hands started to fondle her breasts and tear the green top off her. Gabrielle struggled and moved from side to side trying to avoid his mouth. He moved down her body kissing her roughly as he descended. Gabrielle frantically moved about and tried to push him away with her hands. She could feel herself beginning to panic, as that feeing spread through her the fight started to leave her. Xena wouldn't be coming to rescue her; the Gods only knew what was going to happen to her as she appeared to be controlled by darkness once more. Her strength waning Gabrielle tried to fight Lindos, when she heard the most welcome sound in her life; Argo.

The palomino galloped towards the distracted Lindos who never heard her coming. Gabrielle watched as Argo's nose butted the blonde's head. Dazed he fell to the ground, and Gabrielle regained her wits, inspired by the actions of Xena's steed. As he tried to rise shakily to his feet she kicked him in the head. He fell to the ground blood pumping from his broken nose and Gabrielle kicked him again, finally rendering him unconsciousness. Her anger and frustration was evident now but she managed to stop herself from kicking him a third time. Shaking she grabbed hold of Argo's saddle. She felt drained, physically and emotionally, and at that moment her stomach rebelled and she bent over and vomited its contents. Gabrielle felt light-headed and dizzy but realised she had no time to waste. She needed help and fast. She stood up, gave Argo a pat, straightened her clothes and grabbed her staff that had been discarded. She then looked around at the area where her life had changed so dramatically. Argo nudged her, and despite her painful ribs she pulled herself up onto her back with a sharp intake of breath and a whimper.


	3. Chapter 3

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Gabrielle was grateful that at least Argo knew where she was going. She clutched the horse's broad neck crying bitterly into the pale hair. She wasn't sure what had happened to Xena, but she had no memories of her and enjoyed inflicting pain. Gabrielle wept for the loss of her soulmate and the unrecognisable person who had taken her place. She wiped her eyes and took several shallow breaths to calm herself. Now was not the time to break down. She winced as the various bruises and cuts were beginning to ache. Thank the gods Hercules, Iolaus and Joxer were close by in Renwa. They could help. Argo kept a steady, gentle pace, seemingly aware of the discomfort Gabrielle was in. The thought of Xena out there for any longer than was necessary chilled her.

An hour later a prostrate Lindos was being kicked awake by an extremely annoyed Claudine. "Hey!" he yelled and rubbed his head and slowly started to get up. In an instant a sword was at his throat. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you," said Xena in a hoarse whisper. Lindos paled, urinated involuntarily and opened and closed his mouth like a fish struggling for air. "Where's the girl?" She asked and moved her sword away from his throat and re-sheathed it. "I take it she bested you, you dolt." Lindos scrambled up, embarrassed of the wet patch on his trousers. Claudine walked to him and slapped him around the head as if she was scolding a child. "Brother this is no time to be feeding your libido. We've got Xena. Soon we'll have towns and cities bowing towards us."

"She's just one woman. Hardly going to get Corinth quaking in their boots, is she," Lindos retorted, angry at losing his prize and embarrassed by his sister. She was always bossing him around, nothing changed.

In a flash he was being held up several inches off the ground by strong hands around his neck. "Oh they will quake," said Xena coolly looking up at Lindos. "They will quake."

"Idiot!" said Claudine sharply. "They'll see Xena riding at the head of a large army. They'll have heard about our victories and they'll be bowing towards us." She nodded and Xena let Lindos drop to the floor with a crash.

"So what's next?" asked Lindos wiping his bloody nose with his sleeve.

"We need to get a few more. Xena cut our numbers. There are a few smaller villagers, sack them build an army and then we can start to think of larger towns, or maybe take over an army or two. Agreed Xena?"

"If it involves fighting, count me in." The warrior princess took a deep breath in and thought of the evolving darkness that was within her. You'll be fed, soon.

"I swear it was this big." Joxer held his hands two feet apart and then gradually moved them closer together.

"That's more like it," said Iolaus with a laugh as he held his thumb and forefinger a couple of inches apart.

"Hey," said Joxer indignantly and his two companions laughed as not watching where he was going he bumped into an extremely large street vendor. Hercules quickly moved in between them to smooth any ruffled feathers. "Sorry, he didn't mean it, he's just-"

"Joxer," said Iolaus with a sigh. The street vendor gave Joxer a cold stare and Joxer visibly shuddered. They walked quickly through the crowded streets. Although it was dusk the streets were packed with street vendors, entertainers and crowds of people enjoying the sights and sounds of the festival. Renwa was famous for its sea food and fish and every year they thanked Poseidon for the safe return of their fishermen as well as the bountiful catch they had throughout the year. Like most festivals it had grown and eager town officials were happy to foster its growth as it bought welcome revenue to the town's coffers. Iolaus being a keen fisherman had visited the festival many times before dragging Hercules along and they decided it would be the ideal place to meet the bard and warrior princess. They were strolling to the inn where they were staying and they had booked a room for the absent pair. Joxer had advised them of the delay caused by Gabrielle's sickness and having experienced Joxer's cooking Iolaus could sympathise.

"So are you going to try again tomorrow?" Hercules turned to Joxer, but the would-be –warrior had stopped in the middle of the road. He was staring in the distance, and the suddenly uttered, "Argo!" and started to run. Hercules and Iolaus followed the direction he had headed in with their eyes and once they had registered it was indeed Xena's horse they went running after Joxer.

"No, no, no," repeated Joxer as he neared the horse. He could see a bloodied, dirty and exhausted Gabrielle passed out but her arms circling Argo's neck. Hercules and Iolaus reached them and they exchanged a look of horror. Wordlessly Hercules gently eased the bard off Argo, who stood patiently waiting. Joxer gathered up several of the travel sacks, knowing that Xena kept a good supply of medicines and bandages. Iolaus lead Argo to the stables at the back of the inn.

The patrons watched with interest as the large man entered the inn and then sprinted up the steps unhindered by the small cargo in his arms. Joxer followed quietly holding a staff and a couple of bags.

Hercules pushed open the door to his room with his back and strode over to the bed. He gently laid Gabrielle on the bed. Joxer went to the bags and started to root around in it until he found the medicine sack. There was a knock on the door and Joxer walked over to it and opened it. Marius, the inn keeper, was standing there with a large pot of steaming water and behind him his wife had several sheets to be used as bandages. "Can we get you anything else?" the old man asked kindly. He was fond of Iolaus as he returned each year to his inn for the festival and he had grown to like Hercules and Joxer. He knew that they were expecting their friends and knew of the bard's reputation and hoped she would tell some of her famous stories. He was genuinely saddened by the apparently tragic turn of events.

"We should be fine. We have all done some healing in the past but if we do require assistance we will call you. Thank you Marius." Hercules spoke with an assurance he did not feel. Marius nodded and both he and Helena walked out of the room as Iolaus entered it. Joxer shut the door and joined Hercules by the bed. Iolaus started ripping up the sheets.

They gazed down at the unconscious bard. Her neck and chest had several scratch marks and one bite mark. There were bruises forming on both upper arms, and a sword wound that had been bleeding as well as several ugly purple looking bruises on her stomach was a small gash. She was covered in sheen of sweat and looked pale and haggard. Iolaus started to wash her face gently while Joxer held her hand. He didn't want to vocalise what they were thinking. To see Gabrielle in this state, arrive on Argo without Xena. Joxer inhaled deeply. It was too horrible to contemplate, and so tragic just as they had been reunited.

As Iolaus gently washed her face, Gabrielle's eyes fluttered opened. She looked around and seeing the three faces, gave a sigh of relief and started to cry silently. Iolaus stopped his washing and held her. Hercules went to the table and poured a mug of apple juice. Joxer and Iolaus gently helped Gabrielle into a sitting position and Hercules handed her the mug. She drunk thirstily and finished rapidly. Hercules took the mug from her and went back to the table and again filled the mug. Joxer squeezed Gabrielle's hand and she squeezed it back gently. As Hercules walked back to the bed and held the mug out again Gabrielle said "Thank you." Her voice was croaky and hoarse. She drank about half of the juice and rested the mug on the bed, her hand still wrapped around it. She closed her eyes to prepare her self, to reassure her self it wasn't a horrible nightmare. But when she opened them up, there was still the three expectant faces looking at her.

They were all desperate to know what had happened yet dreaded what the bard may say. Finally Joxer dived in, "What happened, Gabby?" Gabrielle shut her eyes again and a tear escaped. She opened them up again and her face was an expression of anguish.

"Xena was forced to drink from a challis and then she changed, in front of my eyes. She didn't remember me at all. She changed into-" She didn't want to vocalise what she saw. It was so horrible, yet she had to. "She became cruel, almost as if she was-."

"Consumed by darkness?" Hercules finished the sentence and Gabrielle nodded and then broke down. Iolaus gently wrapped his arms around her whilst the other two watched anxiously.

"Was the challis about so big, solid gold, jewel encrusted?" Hercules motioned the size with his hands and Gabrielle pulled away from Iolaus's embrace, looked up and nodded. Hercules continued. "It sounds like the Challis of Hectate." He smiled weakly at the three confused looks he was given. Believe it or not the Gods used to interfere even more with mortal lives than they do now. Hard to believe, I know. We've all suffered thanks to them." He looked around at his friends who were nodding understandingly.

"They were always putting spells on mortals to do their bidding-to fight for them, kill other people, that sort of thing." Hercules paused and gazed at all his friends. He gave an ironic smile. "Unbelievably Hera was the one who put a stop to it. She said mortals should control their own lives, without so much Godly interference." Hercules looked away out of the windows for a moment, and once he had composed himself he turned back. "Of course some Gods still tried to bend the rules and so they would enchant certain objects. That way they could control mortals if they wished, without the spell being traced back to them and suffer whatever punishment Hera had devised."

"So you think this Challis was enchanted?" asked Iolaus thoughtfully.

"I know so. The Challis of Hetate was made by Hephaestus for Hectate and she enchanted it to ensure that the drinker loses everything. _Everything_. That wasn't your Xena. No memories, conscience, only a sensation of darkness that envelopes them. They just want to satisfy their blood lust." Hercules took a deep breath. It was painful for him to talk this way of one of his closest friends.

"When Artemis and Athena found out about the objects they destroyed them. That was centuries ago but I assume they weren't all destroyed."

There was silence as they all ingested what Hercules had said. Joxer started to dress Gabrielle's wounds. The bard stared into space trying to understand what had happened over the last couple of hours.

"Who do you think is behind it?" said Joxer breaking the silence.

"Ares?" said Iolaus with a tinge of disgust in his voice.

"Could be him. It's his style." said Hercules thoughtfully.

"He. She said "he"," said Gabrielle excitedly, suddenly remembering something that had tickled the back of her mind.

"Gabrielle, can you tell us what else happened." Hercules looked sympathetic and Gabrielle nodded. Gabrielle related the whole story, describing Claudine and Lindos in detail and how Xena changed. She played down her injuries and the attempted rape by Lindos. She didn't mention either that she was now convinced that Ares plan was for her to die.

Her friends glared at her, horror written across their faces. Gabrielle tried to keep the tears from falling. It was hard for her to think of the person she loved so much, that loved her had no memories of her and felt nothing towards her. She knew she would never lose the memory of Xena putting the pinch on her and leaving her for dead. It would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Hercules interrupted her thoughts. "I don't recognise these pair, did Xena?" Gabrielle shook her head. "I do believe they've had some divine intervention, and if Xena is involved I would guess it is Ares." Hercules paused and looked kindly at the bard.

"What do we do?" asked Joxer kindly.

"There is a cure." Instantly three pairs of eyes fixed on Hercules. "The Oil of Lanius. I vaguely remember being told about it." The demi God frowned as he tried to remember.

There was silence as the others watched him pondering.

He looked up, "You know her best, Gabrielle, what would she do next? I mean Xena Warrior Princess; Head of an army."

Gabrielle took a deep breath in, closed her eyes and considered what _Xena_ _the warlord_ would do. She knew her inside out; they had discussed strategy, tactics and ploys. She had watched her closely for over three years. Xena had told her of her mistakes, her regrets, her errors. She knew Xena like no other. But this wasn't just Xena. This was a darker more menacing Xena. But she still had the intelligence and astuteness that set her apart even as a young girl growing up. And she was being led by two apparent disciples of Ares.

Gabrielle opened her eyes and looked at her friends.

"She would want more men. There couldn't have been more than a dozen men, and they weren't that well trained and certainly not organised. She'll take a few villages, for supplies, to show her strength, round up some recruits and then take over someone's army. That'll give her large manpower. Then she'll keep doing a raid here and there but most time will be drilling. Xena liked a well drilled structured army." Gabrielle spoke efficiently and without emotion.

"So what's the plan, Herc?" asked Iolaus.

"Can you get our map out of the bags please, Iolaus?" Iolaus tipped out a bag while Joxer handed Gabrielle some fruit. She nodded her head in thanks and gingerly bit into the apple. The adrenaline had worn off and her bruises and cuts were aching and her stomach was doing cartwheels. Iolaus lay the map over the bed. Hercules was lost in thought trying to remember anything he had been told, but shook himself mentally and focused on the map.

"She headed away from Renwa?" Gabrielle nodded. They pored over the parchment. "They won't want to hit anywhere too big yet, not having the man power."

Iolaus pointed to a couple of small dots on the map. "Those are small enough villages. As Gab says, build up the army get supplies."

"That's a day or so from here," said Joxer quietly.

"The Amazons," whispered Gabrielle urgently and pointed to a large area on the map. "Gods, you don't think they'll head there?" Gabrielle started to breath erratically and tried to rise from the bed.

"Calm down, Gabrielle. She won't try for the Amazons yet, not until she has more men."

Gabrielle looked at Hercules and took in a deep breath and settled back on the bed.

"I can't remember any more about the oil. I hate doing this but I'll have to ask my family for help." Hercules looked uncomfortable.

"Would Hephaestus know?" Asked Gabrielle. She stared at the three surprised faces. "He created it so it's a good chance he'll know what to do. He wouldn't have anything to gain from a rampaging army, so he may help.

"Hephaestus, Gab, he's not exactly, well he's not-"Iolaus struggled to find the right words.

"He's not the first God you'd call on to help, is he," said Joxer. "It's like wanting Hercules and getting-well-me."

"They're right. Now lets-"Hercules was interrupted by Gabrielle calling,

"HEPHASTUS! Great God of Art help us. Please." The last word was a plea and to everyone's surprise there was a flash of light and a large, sweaty man materialised. He limped to the bed and took Gabrielle's hand. "Thank you my child for your call and especially your faith in me." He positively beamed at her but his countenance darkened as he gazed at the three men who suddenly found the floor interesting. "I may not be a strong, powerful God, or even a whole man," he stopped and Gabrielle tightened her grip on him, "but I will help you in any way I can."

"Thank you," said Gabrielle with a smile, and the crippled god again beamed.

"How can I help you?"

"We think that someone has got hold of The Challis of Hectate. They are building an army and Xena has drunk from it. She's changed Heph. We need help."

The God looked at Gabrielle with compassion in his eyes.

"I am sorry," Hephaestus looked thoughtful. "I feel responsible. I should have realised that Hectate was planning something when she asked me for the challis. She's as trustworthy as Ares." He paused and Gabrielle squeezed his hand. He looked thoughtful as he spoke. "You know about the oil of lanius?"

They all nodded. "I can't remember much about it, Heph," said Hercules sadly.

"Just a drop needs to enter the afflicted," he said. "Once ingested the oil, they return to themselves immediately. And the memories of what they have done start to hit them. It's so cruel." Hephaestus took Gabrielle's hand. "Imagine being infected. You are consumed by darkness maybe murder your friends, your family, do unspeakable things" Hephaestus spoke quietly and continued to grip Gabrielle's hand. He looked into the green eyes that were full of pain. He smiled a weak smile and squeezed her hand. "You come back to consciousness and find them dead. You grieve and are in shock. The memories come back. Imagine the pain, the madness that would follow. Many can't live with the guilt." There was silence while they digested this information. "Gods can be petty and malicious." He said tonelessly.

"Not all of them," said Hercules and strode towards the seated God with his hand held out. "Sorry for doubting you, Heph. I can see what Sis sees in you." The God blushed and broke out in an embarrassed smile. "I assume a God is behind it? Do you know who?"

"Ares we think," said Iolaus.

"Should have known." There was a pause. "Have you a plan Hercules?"

"We need more man power. We are guessing they will recruit more before moving onto bigger cities."

"Would woman power do?" said Gabrielle quietly. "The Amazons, they'll help."

"I can deliver the message," said Joxer eager to help.

"Great idea Gab," said Iolaus warmly.

"I can make you crossbows and darts, a pinprick will be enough."

"We can surround their camp, send darts in return everyone back to normal," said Hercules. "I'll get the oil; I know where to get it from." He pointed at the map. "Let's rendezvous here, in what three days." He gazed at Gabrielle. "Don't worry we'll get her back."

Gabrielle pushed herself up in bed. "I want to help. I need to help Xena."

"The best way you can help Xena is to get well," said Iolaus. "We're staying here." At that point Gabrielle opened her mouth to say something but Iolaus cut her off. "No Gabrielle, you've done enough, let us help." Gabrielle looked at the four men in the room and she slumped back into bed. She felt frustrated and useless-feelings that she had been feeling all too frequently. She watched as Joxer and Hercules stared to get themselves ready to leave. Time was of the essence. She thought of something she could do. At last she could feel useful "Iolaus could you hand me that bag. Joxer I'll write you a note for Ephiny."

"Sure Gab" and the small blonde man gave her the bag with a smile. She started to write to one of her dearest friends. She had little doubt they would help. Not just because it was her asking but their concern at the potential rise of Xena the warlord again.

"We're ready," said Hercules nervously. Gabrielle handed Joxer the hastily written scroll. Hercules bent down and they embraced tightly. Within moments Joxer had taken his place and she kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for what you have done, and what you are doing," she said in a broken whisper.

"Remember she's not your Xena," said Hercules. It had come out harsher than he meant and so he smiled to soften the words. "But we'll get her back. We'll see you in a couple of days."


	4. Chapter 4

Gabrielle watched her two friends leave, leaving her with Iolaus and Hephaestus. They exchanged nervous looks. Iolaus sat on the side of the bed offering her another drink. Hephaestus stood by the table watching. The Deity was unaccustomed to spending time with mortals, although he had always taken an interest in them. He was very rarely called upon by mortals, other than blacksmiths when cursing. He had felt a thrill when he heard Gabrielle's cry and was excited at being called upon and now able to help.

"Can you tell us anything more about the challis?" Gabrielle cut into his thoughts.

"I've told you most of it. I have to say, I am surprised Ares found it. I would have thought Athena or Artemis would have destroyed it."

"It can be destroyed?" said Iolaus and Gabrielle in unison. Gabrielle sat up quickly.

Hephastus looked at the pair staring at him. "Yes," he said suddenly feeling nervous.

"How?" said Gabrielle and Iolaus again in unison and they exchanged a look.

"A hammer that Hera enchanted. That enchantment will break the spell as well as destroy the challis."

"Do you have the hammer?" asked Gabrielle, suddenly feeling positive. Iolaus looked at her and opened his mouth to argue. He knew what she was going say; it was what he would do if it had been Hercules.

"Yes, I do-"

"I'm going to destroy the challis," said Gabrielle quickly.

"No way Gab." Said Iolaus with a hint of panic in his voice. Hephaestus watched one then the other.

"I have to try. I have to do something," she said quietly. "I need to do something for her."

"Gabrielle, you are in no fit state."

"It's just bruises, Iolaus. And weariness. A good night sleep and I'll be fine. We can destroy it and at least no one else will be affected. Please." Gabrielle's lip trembled and her eyes were full of pain. There was silence for several seconds and then Iolaus nodded and said, "OK, but I'm coming with you. We'll set off tomorrow," said the short blond man in a tone that left no room for argument.

"I'll deliver it to you in the morning. Now I must go crossbows and darts to build. It's good to be of use," he said quietly with a hint of pride.

"I know. Thank you," said Gabrielle warmly and the God lent forward and kissed her and whispered in her ear so only Gabrielle could hear him, "I see why my wife takes such an interest in you." He straightened up and in a flash he was gone.

There was peace in the room only broken when Iolaus got up off the bed. "Sleep time for little bards," he grinned. Her eyes welled up with more tears. Would she stop crying she wondered? She needed to focus, and at least now she had something to focus on. "Stay please," she whispered.

"Of course," said Iolaus and he drew up a chair and sat down. By the time he turned to say good night to the bard she was sound asleep.

"You don't have to do this, Iolaus," said Gabrielle for the fifth time.

"As I've said before, I want to." Iolaus grinned. "I can't let Herc and Joxer have all the fun now can I?"

Gabrielle smiled weakly. She had slept well, no doubt thanks to the herbs that Joxer had put in her juice. Her wounds were painful but not infected; It was her spirit that was most damaged. Hephaestus had delivered the hammer as promised and they were readying their mounts.

"It'll be fine Gab. We'll get Xena back."

Gabrielle nodded mutely and mounted Argo wincing a little. "She's worked so hard fighting for good. And now-"Gabrielle's lip trembled and she blinked the tears away. "It's not her fault. It's not."

"I know. Come on let's destroy that challis. Then at least we can have some good news to take back to the others when we meet up."

With a shake of the reins both horses started their long gallop.

She took a deep breath in as she surveyed the small village. It may only be a handful of houses but it was perfect she thought. It would allow them to gain supplies and recruits and help satisfy the darkness that was tugging at her every fibre. She looked around at her men. Ha, she sneered they were hardly elite fighting force but she didn't care. All she cared about was feeding the darkness, satisfying her lust_. _She gave the signal and they calmly walked into the unsuspecting village. The village was small but today was market day so it was bustling and busier than most days. In the village centre there was a fountain, honouring Poseidon and a bell that was rung as an alarm or in celebration when there was a wedding or a villager gave birth. Xena made her way to the bell and rung it.

Epinon was surveying the area to ensure that all her equipment had been packed up. Satisfied that it had she picked up her saddle bags and headed towards her horse. She glanced back at the young Amazons fussing about the campsite. "Hurry up we haven't all day." She rolled her eyes and loaded up her horse. One by one the other amazons joined her until all five were with her. Delia and Karys carried two large sacks of apparatus that they planned to swap for farming equipment. Epinon briefly thought of Gabrielle and her infamous bartering skills, and hoped that they would get a favourable deal. Although she was Amazon born Epinon always enjoyed and felt comfortable travelling outside the territory. She looked around at the other amazons. Karys and Delia were farmers and in charge of the transactions. The other three Selene, Amarice and Cara were youngsters experiencing guard duty for the first time. As much as she enjoyed the trips Epinon couldn't wait to get back to the village, her hut and specifically Solari. She smirked a little as she thought lovingly of her bond-mate and was beginning to get lost in thought when Delia approached her. A no nonsense middle aged woman, Delia also enjoyed her regular visits to trade equipment and crops and had built up good relationships with several towns and villages. "Pony, my bridle's broken," she showed it to Epinon, "I need to fix it before we set off."

"Damn, I wanted an early start," said Epinon with mild annoyance.

"Look I'll stay and fix it and catch you up. It won't take too long," replied Delia, understanding that what Epinon really wanted was to get on the road quickly. The young ones were full of questions all the time and for a normally quiet warrior it was extremely aggravating. At least when on horseback she could make her excuses to avoid them.

"Fine, Cara, you stay with Delia, the rest of us will be leaving now." She raised her voice and Selene and Amarice scrambled around quickly. Within minutes the four of them had trotted off and Delia had settled down leaning against a tree mending her broken bridle.

Epinon was happy with how much ground they had covered in the morning. They had moved quickly enough so she wasn't bothered by the inane questions of Amarice but she knew that Delia and Cara would catch them up before they would arrive at the village by mid afternoon. She suddenly could hear something out of place on a warm day. She raised her hand up for quiet, her sense on full alert. She could hear fighting. After exchanging a look with Karys she motioned for Selene and Amarice to go behind her with Karys bringing up the rear. They moved quickly and around the next corner she could see a small group of men and women standing menacingly in front of a small caravan of four carts. As she approached she could hear a voice. It was familiar to her yet different in tone. She strained to hear the words, and decide who exactly was talking.

"People we mean you no harm. We want supplies, some food horses and men and then we will go." Epinon shut her eyes. She knew who the voice belonged to. Someone she considered a close friend; who had sung at her bonding; who had drilled with Epinon whenever she stayed in the village. She gazed at the leather clad figure who was surveying the carts and the terrified owners. She saw the ominous way she carried herself, her eyes grey and as cold as the steel sword she was brandishing. Epinon was not there that terrible day when Xena rode in breaking Ephiny's arm and dragging Gabrielle behind her. The people present swore they had never seen such coldness or cruelness emanating from eyes, and Epinon guessed correctly that this is what they were like. What had happened to her? She had heard that Gabrielle was not dead as they had thought but alive and well. So where was she? Why had Xena reverted back to her warlord mode? Please Artemis, let the queen be safe. There was only one way to find out what was going on. She rode up to where Xena was standing and dismounted so she was facing Xena.

"Xena, what in Hades are you doing?" She gazed at her friend who suddenly stared at her with not a hint of recognition.

Epinon had been in many battles and fought many deadly foes but she never felt more scared than she did at that moment looking into the brutal, bitter eyes of the tall warrior. No wonder she spent so many years being feared; even nearly four years since she had given up on her dark path her name still brought anguish to so many. "And who are you to question me?" Xena replied walking towards Epinon. There was a hush as heads turned to watch the two women interact. The amazons moved quietly behind Epinon, and Xena merely raised her hand to prevent any of her soldiers from following suit. Xena kept her eyes on Epinon at all times and she slowly drew her sword. Epinon did the same reluctantly.

"Xena," she said in a pleading tone. "Where's Gabrielle? What are you doing?" When Xena showed no response at the bard's name a chill went through Epinon. She knew in her heart that something terrible had happened to the gentle queen. She watched as Xena started to circle her. They had drilled and fought together many times and Epinon was honest enough to realise that Xena was the far better swordswoman. They parried three strikes and then Xena immediately went on the offensive. Everyone watched in rapt interest. It took all Epinon's reserves to hold her off and she knew she was tiring. However she kept going and a small gash to her forearm was the only injury she suffered. Suddenly Xena rolled her eyes and in two movements Epinon was disarmed and had a sword at her throat. She sunk to her knees and said a quick prayer to Artemis and I love you to Solari. But to her surprise she was hauled to her feet by Xena and dragged over to another woman who was holding a challis full of water.

"She'll be excellent," said Xena her eyes blazing and suddenly full of life. Epinon felt her head tilted back and a hand forced her mouth open. Water was tipped into it and despite coughing she swallowed reflexively. She suddenly had to drink more and she could feel fire coursing through her veins. Then she felt the darkness and she knew she had to feed it. Anyway, any how. She heard someone yell, "TAKE THE CARTS" and she picked up a discarded sword and started to fight, and with each parry and hit gained strength and sustenance.


	5. Chapter 5

Hercules travelled with Joxer for several hours before they parted. He was happier to travel alone; it allowed him to order his thoughts regarding the tumultuous events of the previous day. He was terribly concerned over Gabrielle. He knew of the destruction that could be wrought by a rampaging warrior princess. But that was only half the problem. What would it do to the Amazons to have to fire on her, so soon after the assault on the queen and regent? Hercules knew of those terrible events from Joxer. And could Gabrielle and Xena ever recover from this? They had before but the bard was so shaken by Xena's behaviour, and Xena no doubt would feel so much guilt, even from actions she had little control over, he knew it could take a long time for their relationship to recover. Hercules looked into the distance and gave a small smile. There it is. The temple. He kicked his heels against his steed and hurried towards it.

The temple was a small and by Olympian standards a simple one. It was deserted as usual. He walked through the double doors and unlike most temples that had several statues of the particular God the temple was for, this had none. In fact it was quite empty other than a small dais and several chairs. Athena had told him about this temple and he knew that only mortals with God's blood in them could enter, in fact could see it at all. Iolaus was dumbstruck as Hercules disappeared in front of his eyes one time when they visited it. That was why it was so deserted. Few knew it was there. It could allow any progeny of a God to converse in secret, away from prying eyes of the acolytes. And to call any God they require. "Artemis, Athena, Aphrodite, I need The Oil of Lanius, please." Nothing happened. Hercules spoke again more forcefully, "Please, it is a matter of urgency. Honour my request."

With a flash Artemis appeared, dressed as usual in her Amazon clothes with a bow strapped across her back. She smiled as soon as she saw Hercules and held her arms out to greet him and they embraced warmly. Hercules was fond of his sister. She was genuinely concerned about her Amazons yet believed that they had the right to make their own choices and decisions unlike most of the other Olympians. She was devoted to her family, especially her sisters Athena who she adored and Aphrodite who she was fond of in an older exasperated sister kind of way. She and Apollo were as close as any twins and she found joy in her family's offspring. She was very proud of Hercules and tried to stay out of her family machinations as much as possible. But she would never refuse him help.

"My brother, how are you? Why do you need the oil?" she said warmly as they pulled apart from the embrace.

"I need your help Artemis," he said with a worried look on his face "I-we believe Ares found the Challis of Hectate and has given to some of his followers." Artemis gasped, at the audacity of Ares and the horror that could be brought by the challis falling into wrong hands. She remembered of many occasions when this had been the case. "Xena has been affected." At this news Artemis sank to one of the chairs and put her head in her hands. "And Gabrielle?" The Goddess whispered. She was genuinely fond of her queen. The circumstances to her becoming queen were extraordinary but she had led them well especially against Valasca and appointed a wonderful Regent in Ephiny. She had seen how she had influenced Xena and how that had pleased Athena and infuriated Ares. She knew that Aphrodite had a soft spot for her too after spending time with her as a mortal.

"Xena attacked her but she escaped." Artemis nodded and with a flash a small vial appeared in her hand. Hercules looked at the vial and then at Artemis with an uncertain look. Artemis smiled and stood up and took the lid of the vial. She poured the contents out and once she had righted it she showed Hercules its contents. It was full again.

"Fear not brother, you will not run out. It is enchanted. The vial is more manageable than a large wineskin." Hercules briefly told her of their plan and of Hephaestus's involvement. She nodded thoughtfully and pointed at the vial, which suddenly glowed. "A sedative. It will work with the Oil and give you a couple of hours to sort things out before they awake." She paused. "I'll try to gain as much information as I can. Take care brother," she gave Hercules a genuine smile. "This is no longer the Xena you care for. She'll be more dangerous than ever, more ruthless."

"I know, but I hope we can change her back before…before she does too much damage." Artemis nodded and gave her brother a warm hug.

Xena surveyed the scene with a joyless smile. She closed her eyes and savoured the blood lust that still ran through her body. Today's fights now and at that pathetic little village had barely satisfied her. She was still edgy and full of energy. Hard as it was she knew she had to be patient. Their army was growing and they would soon be taking on bigger targets. Xena could hardly wait-the darkness was all encompassing and whatever she fed it with wasn't enough. All the amazons and two of the men from the caravan were captured-they had proven themselves to be worthy opponents and would join them. Everyone else lay on the ground dead. Xena watched interestedly as Claudine forced the amazons and men to drink from the challis. _Her army _was growing and they would be soon taking larger villages and towns. Claudine could keep the money and jewels; she had no interest in them. All she was interested in was satisfying her blood lust and sustaining the darkness within her. The need to feed it felt insatiable, but that would not stop her. Nothing would.

Delia and Cara watched the carnage unfold from behind the trees. They had heard the fighting and were riding in to join the fray when Delia had recognised Xena and Epinon's voices. Pulling Cara off her horse and low onto the ground she watched with horror. "Shouldn't we help them," whispered Cara angrily?

"There's nothing we can do to help them," Delia retorted sadly. She watched with tears in her eyes as Epinon ran through a hapless opponent merely trying to protect his goods. What was that cup? And what had it done to Xena and Pony? She closed her eyes. She was no fighter, granted she had fought in the past and would die for the Amazon cause if needed but she was also a pragmatist.

"Come on, we need to head back and tell Ephiny."

"And Solari," piped in Cara.

Delia shuddered. She was not looking forward to that at all.

Kelsa looked out at darkness. Guard duty she thought. Had to be done but boy was it boring. She glanced at Walia who also wore a very bored look on her face. Only a few hours to go. She continued to gaze at nothingness but thought she detected a sound. She strained to hear and motioned to Walia to do the same. Within a few seconds she knew that it was a horse being ridden very fast. She exchanged a concerned look with Walia. The rider was nearly upon them before they could see them clearly. He slid off his horse, his armour and leathers squeaking and crashing together. He was out of breath and after he took off his bizarre helmet they could see his hair was caked in sweat. He gave a nervous smile. "Hi," he said his voice squeaky.

"Joxer," said Kelsa warmly, and held her hand out for a handshake. "How are you?"

"I've got a message for Ephiny from Gabrielle. There's trouble." Joxer may have been out of breath when he spoke and panting slightly but they could hear the anxiety in his voice. One look at him and his steaming horse told them how hard he had obviously ridden. Kelsa looked at Joxer expectantly.

He shook his head, wearily. "I really need to see Ephiny." His face was etched with concern.

"You ride in with him Kelsa," said Walia. "I think he could fall off his horse with tiredness." There was no humour in her tone, only worry.

Kelsa mounted the horse and Joxer got on behind her and as she led the horse deep into the forest the gentle movement lulled the tired man into sleep.

"It's good to see you Joxer." Solari gave the-would-be warrior a warm hug and when they parted Ephiny repeated the gesture. "Come sit," said the regent. "You have a message from Gabrielle. Is she well?"

Joxer looked at the floor. He nervously kicked dust around with his toe.

"Not really," he mumbled. "There's been some trouble." He looked up into the faces of the two Amazons. Ephiny motioned for them to sit and they did at a large table. Joxer immediately poured himself some wine and drank the whole glass in two gulps and then poured another one. This one he merely held, gently swishing the cup around. He swallowed and then looked up, "We-Hercules, Iolaus and I-were staying in Renwa. We were waiting for Xena and Gabby. Gabby had been sick, so they were meeting us there later." At those words Solari and Ephiny both leaned forward in their chairs both wearing identical looks of concern. Joxer took a gulp of wine and continued, "Then, Gabby appeared, alone. She looked pretty terrible. She had some minor injuries, cuts and bruises. I think maybe someone tried to…" Joxer started to mumble and looked down into his wine his ears turning pink.

"Where was Xena?" Asked Solari after it was apparent Joxer wasn't going to finish his sentence.

There was silence as Joxer tried to work out exactly how to explain all that had happened.

"Did Xena hurt her?" growled Ephiny.

Joxer nodded and opened his mouth to say something Ephiny interrupted him by jumping out of her chair. She balled her hand into a fist and started to hit her other hand. "I'll kill her. This time I will kill her." Solari jumped up and tried to placate the fuming regent.

"It's Xena but it's not," said Joxer loudly and quickly. The two women turned to look at him with confused looks on their faces. "Gabby told us that she had drunk from a challis. The Challis of Hectate; it causes drinkers to only feel darkness. Memories and other feelings are lost. That's what happened to Xena." There was silence as they all digested that information. The Amazons lowered themselves to their chairs and Solari poured two mugs of wine and handed one to Ephiny who drunk it straight down. She continued to breathe deeply and stared at Joxer with an uncompromising look.

"Tell us, Joxer", she said.

So Joxer related what happened to Xena.

"Xena controlled by darkness," whispered Solari as Joxer had finished.

"It's a nightmare," said Ephiny her eyes torn away from Joxer and suddenly lost in thought. "Rewind five years. No one is safe."

"There's a cure," said Joxer with a little smile. "That's where you come in."

"US!" said Ephiny and Solari in unison. "How?"

"Hercules has gone to get the oil of lanius. It only needs the affected to take a tiny amount like a pin prick to be returned to normal. Hephaestus is making darts and mini crossbows for us. We just need some good archers."

"Hephaestus?" The Amazons were used to being left alone by Artemis and have very little to do with the other Gods. But Xena and Hercules being involved, divine intervention was inevitable.

"Of course we'll do anything we can to help. We'll ask the centaurs too, they certainly won't relish another battle with Xena. " Ephiny exchanged a look with Solari. Then she swallowed and gently asked, "Gabrielle's ok? Did, did Xena hurt her?"

"It was more the shock I think. It shook her up quite badly; Xena had no memory of her at all." That must have nearly killed the bard thought Ephiny. "She hit her couple of times, and –"Joxer looked away, his face crumbled and then he said quickly, "put the pinch on her." There was silence apart from the odd sip of wine.

"She's really back then." Ephiny poured herself another drink. This really was the Xena of old, the warrior princess, destroyer of nations, and murderer of amazons. And it was up to them to stop her one way or another.

Joxer got the scroll out of his saddle bag. He handed it to Ephiny. "Gabrielle explains it all in greater detail. Hephaestus will deliver the bows and darts to our rendezvous point when we meet up with Hercules." Ephiny nodded and unrolled the scroll. She ran her fingers over the neat writing. She had received many scrolls from Gabrielle in the past, but this one was the first since her "return". She could feel the tension in each mark of the parchment. She sent a quick prayer to Artemis that Gabrielle's soul would survive along with her body.

"Let's get some rest and then we can move out first light. Sol."

"I'll sort the party out tomorrow, don't worry. I'll send runners to Tyldus now." She smiled at both of them and left the hut.

"You can stay in a guest hut tonight Joxer. Thanks once again for what you are doing."

"I'll do anything for Gabrielle," he said quietly, and his face was full of pain for one moment.

"So would I," said Ephiny softly and patted him on his hand.

She watched as they left and slumped back in her chair. She stared at Gabrielle's scroll again, not reading it but thinking of a night several months ago.

_Ephiny stared at her friend. "Has she said anything?"_

_Solari shook her head. "Only that she needs to speak to you. I asked where Gabrielle was and she said nothing."_

_The Regent moved from behind her desk and moved closer to Solari. "Has Gabrielle left her do you think?"_

"_I don't know Eph, but Xena looks, I dunno-lost."_

"_Lost?"_

"_Not quite the arrogant so and so she usually is," said Solari dispassionately. "Will you be OK with her Eph? You've barely spoken since that day."_

"_Lead her in Solari. I'll be fine." The dark Amazon nodded and turned on her heels and exited quickly. _

_Within a few moments Xena entered. Ephiny understood what Solari meant. Her leathers looked loose, and the ebony hair was untidy and unkempt. She moved with a stiffness and tenseness that Ephiny could recall from her first meeting with the Warrior Princess but had been absent since. Ephiny motioned for Xena to sit down but she shook her head._

"_Ephiny," the voice was cold. "Thank you for agreeing to see me. I realise it must be difficult."_

"_Not at all Xena." Ephiny paused. "She's not here, I promise you."_

_For a second Ephiny noticed a shadow pass over Xena's face and then the warrior mask snapped on again. Apart from the eyes. Ephiny looked deeply into the blue eyes and started to feel a wave of panic. There was so much pain in those eyes. Even the stoic warrior couldn't hide that._

"_I know." With those two words Ephiny was certain about her friend's fate. The surge of emotion made her whisper, "No, No."_

"_Ephiny, Gabrielle is dead."_

_The Regent looked dumbly at Xena. The warrior mask was on, but Ephiny could see it was taking all her self control, all her strength in keeping her emotions in check. Ephiny couldn't manage that. She walked away from Xena and whispered," No," again. She put her hand to her eyes and could feel the tears flowing. This was not supposed to have happened. Ephiny had begged Gabrielle to stay with the tribe to rule as Queen, but Gabrielle had insisted that her place was with Xena. Xena was her home and would keep her safe._

"_What happened?" was all Ephiny could manage. She too was struggling to keep herself together. She didn't want to break down in front of the warrior princess. She would mourn fully later._

"_Hope." The word was dripping with bitterness. Ephiny turned to look at Xena. "She returned. We had to stop her. But if I killed her I would die, so Gabrielle-"A lone tear ran down Xena's cheek. "Gabrielle sacrificed herself."_

_Ephiny swallowed "Did you, did you bring her home?" The word had slipped out erroneously. Ephiny winced._

_Xena seized on it immediately. She shook her head, and said bitterly, "I was her home."_

_Ephiny's anger rose. Xena knew how important an Amazon funeral was to the tribe especially when it involved a member of the royal family. "Where is she?" She asked angrily._

"_I don't know," Xena retorted angrily, her resentment rising, and her control on her emotions becoming more fragile by each passing second. "She fell to her death." Seeing Ephiny looking shocked she added, "It would have been my decision where she was buried."_

"_She was an Amazon," replied Ephiny her voice rising in anger._

"_She was my life!" Xena shouted._

"_You didn't look after her well then," the caramel eyes were blazing and her legendary temper that had got her into so many scrapes when younger was at full force. "You were the person she needed protecting from!"_

"_I wondered when you would bring that up," said Xena. She took a deep breath in. "I've apologised to you and Gabrielle. We made it up." Her voice broke, "we were happy again."_

"_You said you would keep her safe. You promised. We trusted you."_

"_Gods don't you think I tried. Don't you think every second of every day I wish she hadn't done it?"_

"_I begged her to stay, I pleaded with her, but she wanted to go with you," Ephiny's anger vanished for a moment and was replaced by a sweet remembrance. "I just wanted her to stay, with me." The last two words were whispered to herself but the warrior's unnatural hearing picked them up._

"_How did it feel Ephiny that she chose me again?" Xena's anger was showing no sign of dissipating. She was relishing the feel of emotion after so long trying to keep a lid on them. "That you came behind me twice."_

"_But I didn't, did I?" Ephiny smiled a feral smile. She was past caring about pandering to Xena's hurt emotions. She knew that she could strike her down any minute but she couldn't stop herself. "What bothered you the most, Princess," the name was spat out and the rest of the words said spitefully, "that she was with me at all or that it was before you?"_

"_At least I didn't take advantage of her grief," Xena was shouting at the regent despite her standing two feet away, "She barely knew if she was coming or going, but you pounced."_

"_It wasn't like that!" Ephiny stepped forward so she was practically nose to nose with Xena. "I would never take advantage of her. I didn't, and she knew that."_

"_Keep telling yourself Eph and maybe you'll believe it."_

"_I LOVED HER. I LOVE HER." The words were shouted with such passion that Xena stepped back momentarily surprised. Ephiny shut her eyes. "When you came back to the dead, I saw how happy you were. I wasn't going to stand in your way." The tears were streaming down her face. She opened her eyes glanced at Xena and then looked away. "But after Solon," Xena winced and Ephiny reflexively put her hand on Xena's shoulder, and Xena let her, "I asked her to stay with me. I told her that I could make her happy, but she said her place with you. She would-," Ephiny shut her eyes and began to shake. Xena returned the favour and laid both hands on her shoulders. The shaking stopped and Ephiny opened her eyes and gazed into Xena's. The pain was mirrored in both sets. "She said she would prefer to die tomorrow at your side loving you than to live without you for years." Xena pulled Ephiny into a stiff embrace and after a few seconds they both emerged. Two women who had lost a cherished friend._

"_I'm sorry for what I said. Thank you for coming. It must have been hard for you." Ephiny sniffed and rubbed her teary eyes with her hands._

_Xena nodded. "I thought I might get this sort of welcome but I can't blame you. I nearly kill the queen, injure the regent and now I have failed in my most sacred task."_

_Ephiny poured out a glass of wine, her hands shaking, and handed it to her. She poured one for herself and drunk it quickly before refilling it. _

"_And I didn't mean what I said Ephiny. You've been a friend to Gabrielle when she needed one, and I never once thought you took advantage." There was a pause and Xena looked away into the distance for several seconds. Her voice was breaking with emotion as she spoke," she never knew I knew. The dead really can hear your thoughts."_

_There was a painful pause, both women lost in their own thoughts. Ephiny looked up and said quietly,"What do you think she'll be saying about us now?"_

"_Warriors," they both said in unison and laughed. However in a heartbeat the jocularity was gone. _

"_Stay with us a couple of days," said Ephiny, kindly. The very least she could do for her best friend's lover was to ensure she had a few days rest and food. Xena nodded and her face crumpled, the strain of keeping the mask on was too much. Ephiny knew she had to distract her. Her grief was heavy enough without having to deal with Xena's. Besides she knew that Xena would prefer to keep it private._

_Ephiny gently laid her hand on Xena's shoulder. "Do you think you can tell me," she said and Xena looked up, nodded again and launched into how they started to look for Gabrielle's friend Seraphin._

Ephiny sat staring into nothingness. Xena had left them a couple of days later, and although their relationship was not warm it was at least civil. And then there was the joy of receiving word that Gabrielle was alive. Ephiny felt her prayers had been answered until the shocking news that Joxer had brought today. It looked like they would be meeting up with Xena and Gabrielle sooner than they thought but in circumstances that were far, far from ideal.


	6. Chapter 6

The ride had been torture for Gabrielle. Whether it was the remnants of the sickness or her anxiety over Xena she didn't know but she felt worse than ever. She had to force herself to eat small amounts to keep Iolaus from nagging at her. Her body was full of aches and pains but those paled in comparison to the ache in her heart. Every time she shut her eyes she saw the cold blue eyes and heard the voice "_That's her taken care of_"_, _as if she was no more consequence than a fly. She prayed and prayed that this Xena hadn't left her mark but to their horror she had. They had heard that two villages had been ransacked. Everyone was dead. And there was word that a caravan heading towards Renwa had been destroyed too. Gabrielle pushed down the hurt, anger, betrayal, loss and grief and tried with all her strength and resolve to keep focused on the mission. Destroy the challis; buy Hercules and the Amazons some time and this will all be over, Xena will return to normal. Gabrielle sighed as she sat astride Argo not taking in her surroundings at all. That was a pipe dream Gabrielle knew. Xena would blame herself for everything and add it to all the other guilt she carried. This time, Gabrielle wouldn't let her. This was not her fault. She had no choice in the matter, and if she had to repeat this every day for the rest of her life she would. She blamed Ares, Claudine and Lindos for this. She felt the bile rising in her throat as she remembered Lindos pawing her. She didn't care what had happened to her but they would pay for what they put Xena through. This could rebuild the barriers that Gabrielle had spent so long trying to tear down. No, thought a determined bard, she wouldn't allow it.

She was so lost in thought that she did not hear Iolaus call her. "Gab, Gabrielle." The bard looked up and smiled at her friend. He continued,"I think we're close. Through this forest is a large clearing. It would be perfect for a base; it has cover, a stream nearby, and by the looks of it," he pointed down at the ground, "there has been heavy traffic." He dismounted and Gabrielle did likewise.

"On foot?" she inquired, and Iolaus nodded. They got the hammer out of their saddlebag and sent their horses on their way. Gabrielle gave Argo a hug and a kiss and the horse neighed her goodbye.

Claudine lay in bed, arms wrapped around herself a she did when she was a girl. Life was good she thought. No life was great. She smiled. She got out of bed and wrapping a blanket around her went to the tent flap and looked out. There were a few people up early and drilling, Xena one of them. Claudine watched in admiration as the muscular lean body moved gracefully through each phase of her routine. Some others were rousing from their slumber. She noticed her brother was up and already whining. Still mourning the loss of that blond girl no doubt. Fool! He was obsessing about her all the time, as he was prone to do about his latest conquest.

Their army was small but building up. Xena had started to organise drills and soon everyone was working off their energies in sword play. Claudine practically drooled every time she thought of Xena. She was the perfect specimen. Much to Claudine's disappointment Xena showed no interest in anything other than fighting. Only a couple of weeks and they would be heading towards larger towns. And then to Corinth. As Claudine slipped back into bed she licked her lips in anticipation.

Ephiny sat astride her horse watching the area quietly. She turned to Solari and nodded. Within moments the Amazons had dismounted and started efficiently to set up camp. Joxer watched slack jawed with amazement as in the time it took him to dismount and tether his horse, firewood had been collected and tents erected. He moved closer to Ephiny and Solari who were in discussion with Tyldus. They greeted him as he joined them. "Everything OK?" Joxer asked smiling nervously. He received three nods in reply. "Do you want me to start cooking?" He asked.

"NO!" said three voices in unison.

"Thanks for the offer," said a pale faced Tyldus. He had heard about Joxer's legendary culinary skills. "I would like to hear more about Hephaestus though. I 'd like to know more about him before I meet him," He put his arm around Joxer and started to lead him away.

"OK," shrugged Joxer. "He doesn't look like much but I could see he was brave, as brave as me, well not quite…" Ephiny could hear Joxer's voice grow fader as he and Tyldus walked off. "Remind me we owe Tyldus one," grinned Solari. Ephiny laughed. She looked around. The camp was looking organised. The well oiled machine was working the two leaders were pleased to see. Ephiny was pleased with the numbers she had. They had taken twenty warriors from the village including the healer Piri who insisted that she came along. "If the queen is injured, it is my job, my duty to come." Ephiny had rolled her eyes and begrudgingly agreed. The healer was very protective of the queen, thought Ephiny, as were we all. There would be no arguing with her when she got an idea in her head. They had sent word to Tyldus and he had pledged twenty centaurs. Many remembered the wars against Xena and were not eager to relive them. If they could avoid it they were happy to help. It also fortified the already strong ties with the amazons.

Ephiny tried to grapple with the horrific idea of Xena being consumed by darkness. She had heard the stories of what Xena did to the northern tribes and throughout Greece, but even as they fought Valasca and Callisto that seemed to be another person. It was only when she rode into the village on that fateful day that she appreciated what Xena was capable of. She lowered herself to the ground and watched Solari as she went to her horse to take a water skin. Would she have done that if it had been Xenon? Would she have brutally attacked her dearest friend in that manner? She didn't care about her arm, she had worse injuries but what happened between Xena and Gabrielle touched her deeply. When Gabrielle returned unharmed and full of forgiveness she had listened to the incredible story. She had begrudgingly forgiven the warrior only after Gabrielle's apparent death and asked the tribe to which they did. But she never forgot and hoped that they would never have to face this again. And now they did.

Her musings were interrupted by a bird call indicating a rider approaching. Ephiny immediately got to her feet and watched as a beautiful black stallion carried his rider. It was good that it was enormous as the man would have made a normal sized horse look like a small donkey. Ephiny stared and noticed there were two other horses following behind. Two familiar horses and riders; Delia and Cara. Giving Solari a glance they both ran towards the horses. Hercules had dismounted by the time they reached them and there was a small crowd around them. Hercules gave Tyldus a warm hug and a handshake and did the same to Joxer. Delia and Cara had also dismounted and were hugging several amazons. Ephiny didn't miss the look of sadness Delia gave Solari and she went cold. Oh gods not Epinon please don't let anything happen to her. One of her oldest friends. She put her hand on Solari's shoulder for support. Solari appeared in a state of shock, not acknowledging Ephiny's touch merely staring at Delia.

"Where's Pony?" she whispered. "Gods, no please." Solari put her hands to her head.

"She's alive Sol. They all are." Delia exchanged a glance with Hercules. "She's with Xena."

"They drunk from the challis. They're all part of Claudine and Xena's little army," added Hercules. He looked around at the little group. "Ephiny?" said Hercules uncertainly. She stepped forward to be embraced in an enormous hug. "I've heard lots about you. I'm sorry we meet under such grave circumstances."

"I know me too" she said pulling away slightly.

Hercules lent back towards her. "We need to talk," he whispered in her ear. He released her and she motioned for Delia and Solari to join them and Hercules did the same to Joxer and Tyldus. They made their way to the outer part of the camp.

Ephiny could see Solari was bursting to find out news about Epinon, but she managed to restrain from asking. Hercules looked at them all. "Joxer's filled you in?" They all nodded. He looked at Delia who had a tear rolling down her cheek.

"My bridle broke," Delia started apologetically, "Cara and I were to catch the others up. When we did," she looked away from Solari's piercing glare and closed her eyes, "we saw them fighting Xena's army. She didn't recognise Pony, and they caught them, and forced them to drink from the challis." She paused and opened her eyes and gazed at the small crowd, still avoiding Solari. "I rode into Hercules and he filled me in about the challis."

"What happened?" Ephiny knew Delia well enough to recognise she was shaken by something.

"They murdered those people Eph. Just ran them through. Traders going to the market. I wouldn't have believed it if-"She stopped and sniffed.

Ephiny winced as if wounded and Solari fell to her knees, face screwed up, and hands formed into tight fists. Ephiny sank down next to her and put her arms around her. Hercules looked at them both with sympathy and said gently, "It's not Epinon, remember that. The challis robs them of everything. Even the kindest gentlest person has a measure of darkness and that's what feeds them. They are not the people you love," he said gently.

Hercules looked around at the shattered faces. They deserved to know everything. "I've heard of two villages completely destroyed." There was silence. Tyldus looked around at everyone and ever practical said,"so we are here. You have the oil Hercules. How does it work?"

"We are going to dip darts into it and send them into the camp. Artemis has also added a sedative which should at least take care of them for a short while."

"And the darts?" said Ephiny, and at that moment there was a flash and Hephaestus and Artemis appeared. The Amazons present immediately dropped to their knees. This was a rare honour; Artemis had not appeared to their tribe within Ephiny's lifetime.

The Goddess looked embarrassed. "Get up please" she said quickly and motioned with her hands. Both Hephaestus and Hercules looked amused at her awkwardness. "The darts and crossbows as ordered," Hephaestus said and they materialised in a neat pile.

"Thank you," chorused Joxer and Tyldus.

"What is it?" asked Hercules conscious that Artemis looked concerned.

Hephaestus and Artemis exchanged a glance. "Iolaus and Gabrielle have gone to destroy the challis."

"What!" exclaimed Hercules? "She could barely move. Did you give them that idea?" He looked accusingly at Hephaestus who looked horrified. Tyldus and Joxer looked at him with surprise. This was not like Hercules. Artemis immediately rounded on him.

"No it was Gabrielle's. They both wanted to do something."

"How's Gabrielle?" said Ephiny, her concern over her friend over-riding her awe of the goddess.

"Hurt mentally and physically, but this has given her something to do rather than brood." She directed her answer at Hercules.

"I'm sorry," he said. He took a deep breath in. "I shouldn't have taken my concerns out on you." He held his hand out for Hephaestus who shook it. "How do they destroy it?"

"With a specially made hammer. They should be close to the camp by now. Herc, we're sorry we can't do more."

Hercules gave a wan smile. "I know. I can never understand the rues about you interfering but I know you do your best." He spoke with an exasperated tone.

"One thing we will do is keep Ares busy," said Artemis. "It was him that was gave the challis to Claudine and her brother. Their father was a great follower of his."

"Thank you," replied Hercules and with a nod of their heads the two Gods vanished with a flash.

"Looks like it's an early start tomorrow then," said Joxer.

"May it be a successful day," said Tyldus, echoing all their thoughts.

Iolaus had thanked his days in the army many times and today was one of them. It allowed him to scout close to camp without being detected. There were a couple of soldiers posted around the camp as sentries, moaning at the lack of action. He spotted Xena and her tent and from Gabrielle's description Claudine. He headed back to where Gabrielle was waiting. A whistle from him and the next thing he knew Gabrielle had descended gracefully from the tree she was hiding in. "You're good at that," he said in an impressed tone.

"Thanks," she said. "I picked a few things up from the Amazons. I drove Sol mad as she was teaching me." She smiled at the memory and was joined by a shy smile from Iolaus. "So what now?"

"I think Claudine has the challis. She's not drunk from it."

"What makes you say that?"

"She just seems different. And another man, who looks like her."

"That'll be Lindos," Gabrielle shivered unconsciously. Iolaus patted her arm, comfortably.

"So we have to break into a heavily fortified camp and smash the most valuable thing they have. And face the greatest warrior in Greece."

"So what's the plan?" asked Gabrielle.

"Dunno. I'm just a sidekick," Iolaus grinned.

Gabrielle sighed. She looked towards the camp. "Do they have sentries?"

"Yep, they're in pairs, fairly far apart."

"Pairs. MMMmmm." She looked at Iolaus and winked.

Within an hour Iolaus and Gabrielle were dressed in a uniform with helmets on. The two sentries were relieved of their duties unconscious, bound and gagged. They made their way in camp, glad of the failing light. Gabrielle could feel the hammer hidden underneath the grimy tunic. They slowly walked towards the outskirts of a tent. From what Gabrielle could tell it was a typical army camp. She recognised the two tents as Amazon issue. Oh no, she thought did they run into amazons? Iolaus had estimated that there were twenty to twenty five soldiers. There was a grassy area with a large fire in the middle, and several soldiers were sitting around it. Some were eating and others picking fights. Gabrielle racked her eyes over the camp looking for Xena. She saw her in the distance drilling. Her eyes welled up with tears and she sniffed. Iolaus gently brushed her arm with his fingers and she gave a weak smile. It's not my Xena, not my Xena she repeated. She knew that Iolaus too was watching for Claudine. Gabrielle reluctantly tore her eyes away from Xena and looked intently around the camp. They were in the shadows of the tent and had not been spotted. She watched Claudine and another person leave the tent. She watched them walk away and inhaled deeply and then turned towards Iolaus and he motioned for them to go towards the tent the pair had vacated. From the size and position they had assumed it was Claudine's.

They quietly entered the empty tent. Gabrielle went straight for a couple of saddle bags that were on the floor while Iolaus looked around the bed. Although they were only in there seconds to Gabrielle it felt like hours. Every noise sounded magnified. She had little doubt they would be killed if caught. She searched through the bags but nothing. She then heard a gasp, as Iolaus held up a familiar sack. He reached inside and pulled out the challis. She shared a grin with her friend and started to move towards the tent flap. Gabrielle saw a soldier enter the tent. All three were shocked at seeing each other but Iolaus reacted the quickest and he moved in front of them and then threw the challis back to Gabrielle. She caught it and laying it on the ground, drew the hammer out from under her clothes and with as much force as she could muster brought the hammer down and smashed the challis into tiny fragments. The soldier drew his sword and after yelling rushed towards Iolaus. He weaved his body left and right out of the way of the sword and managed to get a kick into the stomach of one that sent him sprawling backwards. Before they could exit the tent, three more soldiers entered. Two were immediately engaged by Iolaus and Gabrielle looked frantically around to see if there was anything she could use as a weapon, having left her staff with Argo. She threw pieces of the challis at him and he swiped at them with his hand, and while distracted Gabrielle threw the hammer at his head. It as a good shot and downed him. She then gave him a kick to the head, rendering him unconscious. She looked up and the joy she felt at Iolaus doing so well was short-lived as the alarm had truly been raised. Standing in the tent doorway was Xena, her blue eyes watching the fracas emotionless and her face completely passive.


	7. Chapter 7

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is violence (It's Xena) and in this chapter there are several descriptions of torture and there is a rape (off screen). Please, please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

"ENOUGH!" Xena yelled. Iolaus got one last jab into his opponent sending him sprawling and looked towards Xena. Gabrielle watched her partner closely and could see little of the woman she had loved for the past few years. She could see that she was flanked by several men and oh, no, Amarice and Epinon. How they had got involved, Gabrielle thought with a pang. She tore her eyes back towards Xena, who flicked her head and immediately both Iolaus and Gabrielle were held by two soldiers each. "WHAT IS GOING ON?" Xena shouted. She looked around the tent and saw a large piece of the challis on the floor. As she bent down and picked it up Claudine entered the tent.

"NO!" Claudine cried as she saw the broken piece in Xena's hand. Gabrielle gave a slight smile, and seeing that she went straight to Gabrielle and punched her in the face. Gabrielle's head lolled back and her nose stared to spurt blood and from the sound of the crack and the intense pain she knew it was broken.

"You! Do you know what you have done?" Claudine hissed at the bard. Gabrielle tried to spit the blood from mouth at her and then smiled which further enraged the woman who raised her hand to hit her again. Her hand was stopped mid flight by the larger one of the warrior princess. "Patience dear Claudine, we need to get information." She spoke coldly and she gazed at Gabrielle. Gabrielle could feel her eyes being drawn towards the cerulean ones and she knew what pain she would feel when she looked into the eyes she loved so much, the eyes that had told her so much of what Xena felt, that usually radiated so much emotion. She did look at them, and there was no recognition, no love, no concern, nothing in those eyes linked Gabrielle to the person she loved. At that moment Gabrielle knew this truly wasn't her Xena and she had lost something precious. She started to weep.

"Afraid to die?" sneered Xena, spitefully.

Gabrielle shook her head. "No, what I am experiencing is worse than death," she said quietly. She looked at Iolaus who had a stunned look on his face. He heard about the effect it had on Xena, he had heard the stories from Hercules about what effect the challis had but he didn't comprehend the influence until now. It was truly mind spinning. "We'll see," said Xena with a feral smile. "First we need to know why you are here and if you are working with anyone else."

"The little man is Hercules's friend, so that do-gooder is probably involved," said Lindos as he entered the tent. His eyes widened as he saw Gabrielle and he shared a knowing look with his sister. She gave him an indulgent smile and nodded. He licked his lips and made his way towards Gabrielle. She started to struggle as he moved towards her, her memories of his attempted rape fresh in her mind. Xena put her arm against his chest to stop him from going any nearer.

"You can have her later," she whispered. "So is Hercules involved?" She said louder. There was silence. She punched Gabrielle in the stomach, the bard rocking backwards and only being prevented from falling backwards by the two soldiers holding her.

Gabrielle was momentarily winded and could only cough and couldn't yell to Amarice to stop hitting Iolaus. She eventually managed to splutter, "Amarice don't."

"So you can talk," said Xena coldly. She slapped Gabrielle on one cheek and then the other. Amarice followed suit on Iolaus. Although her hits were not hard for Gabrielle they weighed heavy on heart. Oh Xena, don't feel guilty if you remember this, it's not your fault, it's not. She looked at her partner with sad eyes. Xena was totally oblivious to Gabrielle's melancholy and looked around. "It's late and I would like to be fresh in the morning for our next interrogation. You don't have to be though." She smiled sweetly at Gabrielle but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Lindos, she's yours." Gabrielle looked at Xena with a look of horror and revulsion and then fear.

"No, please Xena," she cried. Lindos grabbed the bard who was kicking and screaming at him. She was fighting with Lindos like a feral animal but to no avail. She was truly panicked and the adrenaline was racing through her body increasing her strength but it was not enough. Iolaus shouted but he was rewarded with a punch to the face. He struggled against his captors, as Gabrielle was being dragged away. When he couldn't see her any more he turned towards Xena with tears in his eyes.

"I'll never forget what you did Xena," he said bitterly, "And one day you won't."

"Tie him outside. Put four guards on him." She walked out of the tent. Claudine looked at the shattered challis and said coldly, "and break one of his legs."

Iolaus tried yet again to find a comfortable position, and failed. His right leg was broken and he was trying to keep his weight off it. His arms were tied behind his back, and for the first two hours he struggled against the binds but only succeeded in ripping his skin raw. His face ached and he was cold and thirsty. He was also dreadfully worried about Gabrielle. He had heard screams from Lindos's tent for two hours but now there was silence. He moved gently again, wincing as pain shot through his leg. He had managed to doze only on and off. He closed his eyes but was awoken by further screams from Lindos's tent. Tears welled up in his eyes. After an hour he saw a figure being dragged from the tent and thrown on the ground, her hands and feet bound. "Gabrielle," he whispered. "Gab, please. Please." After several minutes her head rose a little. Iolaus could see the contusions on her face and the red, swollen eyes. "Not long now," Iolaus said trying to be cheerful. He thought he saw a ghost of a smile before her head lay down again and he could hear sobbing.

Xena eyed the two prisoners from her tent. Oh she would enjoy this. The extraction of information could be a slow process, but she didn't feel like hanging around for too long today. She threw her chakram up and caught it, no she wanted to find out any information, kill the prisoners and head out. The need for blood was overwhelming. She threw the chakram up again and caught it and started making her way to the pair. The man was still tied to the post, trying to balance on his left leg, keeping the weight off his right. And the girl, she was lying bound on the floor. By the look of her Lindos had a good night. A thought ran through her mind but she quickly extinguished it. She had none of those needs; all she wanted to do was feed the darkness. She approached Iolaus and kicked his left leg causing him to cry out. The girl looked up and wore an angry scowl. Oh goody, Xena thought, maybe she is tougher than she looks.

"Claudine, get a team, we're going to see what they know." Claudine nodded and beckoned to several soldiers. Xena feigned disinterest as a small group gathered close to her. Xena turned towards Gabrielle and Iolaus. "Now you are going to spill your guts, one way or another." The voice was impassive as was the face. She waved her hand at Gabrielle and within seconds she was hauled to her feet and held by two grinning soldiers. "Now who else is involved?" There was silence. Xena nodded and Epinon went to Gabrielle and hit her across the ribs with a staff. Gabrielle screamed.

"Who is involved?" Silence. Another hit.

"Who is involved?" Silence. Another hit.

"Who is involved?" Silence. This time Epinon turned and went to Iolaus and hit him with the staff. This went on until both had been hit a dozen times. Xena looked on half impressed; she thought they would have passed out long before they did.

"Leave them until after breakfast," she said coolly. "They're not going anywhere."

Gabrielle watched with one eye, barely open, at the soldiers undergoing drills. Her other eye was swollen shut and she kept her good eye as closed as possible so they would think her unconscious. She was sure she had never been in so much pain. She was unsure if most of it came from her shattered soul; her revulsion and horror at what she had endured last night or the physical pain she was in. She tried to block as much of the pain out as she could, although focusing on the physical pain kept her from dwelling on her broken heart. They had revelled in torturing them, and at times the soldiers had to be restrained from continuing the beatings. Gabrielle had sensed that Xena had enjoyed thinking up crueller tortures.

All they had admitted was they knew the hammers would break the challis. They wouldn't admit anything else. They did not know what force Ephiny could muster together and the element of surprise was such an important weapon. But still the beatings came. Both their backs were bloodied from numerous lashes. Gabrielle's nose was broken. Her left arm was dislocated and her wrist was broken. Her ribs were a mess and she had bruises and whip marks all over her legs. Iolaus was in an even worse state. His face was swollen and bruised and as well as his broken leg, he had several broken ribs and a nasty concussion. He was unconscious, thank the gods thought Gabrielle. She could feel someone approach. It was Claudine and she held the hammer. Two soldiers untied Gabrielle from the rack she was on and pushed her onto the ground. One held out her broken wrist. "So is Hercules working with you?" Asked Claudine.

"No," said Gabrielle fearfully as she watched the hammer descend.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" her scream was heard throughout the camp. The pain was incredible and Gabrielle just managed to keep conscious. She started to hyperventilate and screamed as the hammer descended and struck her hand she slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

Ephiny was leaning against a tree as she watched the final preparations being made. A group of scouts had been dispatched to asses the numbers they were facing and if they could locate Gabrielle and Iolaus. Everyone had a crossbow and several darts dipped in the oil. They were all resting awaiting the scouts return. Their plan was sound, Ephiny knew that. She was pleased; the archers chosen were of the finest quality and the fact that there only needed the barest scratch and the affected was rendered unconscious made their job much easier. They would separate into five teams, with each team taking a different area and they would send in a blanket of arrows. They would secure the soldiers and once their memories were returned work out what to do with them.

Ephiny looked up as she saw the scouts, including Solari return. She had considered deeply whether or not to send Solari, she was concerned what it would do for her friend if she saw Epinon. But Solari was a fine scout. Ephiny looked at her friend and the other scouts and saw their expressions. Hercules and Tyldus had joined her and they all looked at the scouts expectantly. Solari swallowed deeply twice and said in a shaky voice, "There are about twenty to twenty five of them, a couple of miles away."

"And?" asked Ephiny impatiently, there was obviously something else.

"Gabrielle and Iolaus have been captured." Ephiny took a sharp intake of breath and exchanged a worried look with Hercules. "How are they?" said the demi god echoing Ephiny's thoughts.

"Not good. They've been badly beaten," Solari looked away for a moment. Ephiny closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. "Are they alive?" she whispered.

"I don't know," came the anguished reply and Solari dissolved into tears.

"It was hard to tell we were quite far away," continued Dax, a man from the centaur village. "They were hurt very badly," he added.

Ephiny covered her mouth with her hand.

"We have to go now," said Tyldus quietly. He patted Hercules's arm. The tall man looked completely stunned and tried to reconcile himself to the news.

"I'll tell Piri to prepare for casualties," said Ephiny sadly, and the camp was quietly packed up as more people became aware that it was now also a rescue mission.

"So my Lord, are you happy?"

"Oh yes," the dark haired God purred. "Xena at the head of an army, full of darkness and that irritating blonde nearly dead. Just as I planned."

The three of them were in the woods about half a mile from the camp site. Ares hadn't wanted to show himself just yet to Xena, but he had watched her from afar with delight and pride. She was everything he remembered and more.

"I like the blonde," said Lindos sulkily. Claudine slapped her brother around the head.

"Are you pleased with me Lord Ares?" said Claudine seductively running a finger down his chest.

"Oh yes, my dear," he said but backing away. He stilled and said, "Damn. One of my sisters is calling." He looked angrily at Lindos and Claudine who had stared at him with amused looks on their faces. He rolled his eyes, "Since that Dahok thing Zeus has been keeping a close eye on me. That means lots of sucking up to my sisters. Wait here, I'll be back." With a flash of light he disappeared leaving the siblings to sit on the floor frustrated.

Ares materialised in the dining hall of Olympus. "Aphrodite, Artemis, you bellowed," he deadpanned.

"Ares good to see you," Aphrodite beamed as she spoke. Artemis wore a bored look on her face.

"What can I do for two of my most delightful sisters?" Ares tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Stay here." Said Artemis.

"I beg your pardon," said Ares suddenly becoming alarmed for the first time. Within a moment Hephaestus and Athena had appeared holding in their hands something that looked like fishing net. Artemis and Aphrodite immediately sent out fireballs towards him, knocking him off his feet leaving him too weak to disappear. Hephaestus and Athena merely walked over to him and looking down at his worried expression, dropped the net over him. It was as light as silk but Ares couldn't move. He looked at the four gods with anger.

"What's this about?"

"Just to make sure your little plan with Xena is terminated tonight," said Athena speaking for the first time. She put her hands on her hips and stared at him with a frown. "It's over Ares. The challis is broken and Hercules is leading the centaurs and Amazons. They have enough oil to return everyone back." They all turned their back on him and walked away.

Ares slumped for a moment, and then smiled, his face taking his customary arrogant smirk. "Maybe you've won this battle, for now" he said quietly. "But battles have consequences and whether the warrior princess can live with hers is a different matter." He smiled coldly, and said prophetically," this is far from over."


	8. Chapter 8

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is little violence in this chapter but extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in the last chapter. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

Ephiny heard a bird call and responded in kind. It was time to move. She motioned to her group and they quietly and efficiently made their way through the trees. Looking right she could see Hercules and his group fanning out and beyond them, Tyldus's group. They would surround but not quite totally enclose the camp. The scouts had described the camp to perfection she thought as she saw the layout of the camp. Ephiny estimated that most of the soldiers were around the camp fire eating their meal. That should make it more straightforward, she thought with a small smile. But her smile faded immediately as her eyes darted right and she saw one body strung in an X shape over two racks, and a smaller one lying motionlessly on the ground. She gulped and pushed the bile back down her throat, then said a quick prayer to Artemis; don't let us be too late. She watched as Hercules made a motion to go and they ran forward, readying their crossbows.

Ephiny had always enjoyed using the bow and arrow. Her mother had insisted she learnt Artemis's weapon of choice from a young age, and she had a natural aptitude for it. The crossbow felt comfortable in her hands and she knew without a hint of arrogance she was a master of it. She took out two sentries within seconds and her group moved closer to the main camp. She looked towards the two broken bodies in the centre desperately trying to see a sign, any sign, of life. She reluctantly and almost painfully tore her gaze away from them, and tried to re-focus on the task.

She looked around the camp, and saw that after the initial darts fired in there were close on fifteen soldiers lying on the floor. Several had evaded the initial dart attack and sprung up shouting and looking for the perpetrators of the surprise assault, eager for a fight. Their cries brought the rest from their tents, including Xena. She looked in fury at the growing number of inert bodies around the camp and turned angrily towards where the darts were raining in from. Her right hand instantly moved towards her chakram but before she could reach for it, Hercules shot a dart at Xena and predictably she caught it. Her look was feral as she surveyed the carnage around her. She caught the next dart fired by Delia and after reaching for her sword made her way menacingly towards them. Ephiny watched the evolving scene with concern. Virtually everyone else had been accounted for. She watched as on the count of three, Delia, Hercules and two centaurs sent darts simultaneously towards the warrior princess. Two were caught, one was swiped away but the last one grazed her leg. She slid to the floor, unconscious before she hit the ground.

Ephiny was not the only person to run towards the fallen warrior Princess. Hercules knelt down beside her to straighten her body and make her more comfortable. When he looked up, he saw that several of the amazons surrounding them had their swords or bows trained on Xena.

"She's out cold, there's no need for this," said Hercules getting up. No one moved. By that time Ephiny had reached them.

"Ephiny, tell them to stand down," said Hercules.

Ephiny looked down at Xena and then across at Gabrielle and Iolaus who Piri's team had reached. Before she could speak, Charope said incredulously, "You don't believe we would leave her unguarded Hercules?"

"She is no threat to you, now. The oil has released her."

There was ironic laughter. "No threat. Ask Ephiny what she did to her arm, when she was 'no threat'. And then ask Gabrielle just how many leagues she was dragged behind Xena's horse." Charope's eyes blazed with anger and her tone was one of sarcasm.

Hercules put his hand through his hair impatiently. He glanced towards Iolaus and then back to the circle of women. Ephiny stepped forward. "Protis, you and Thea stay with her. The minute she stirs, I want to know. She isn't left alone, got that." Ephiny stared at Charope who nodded at her and turned reluctantly. The other Amazons apart from Protis and Thea looked at each other and also turned to go.

"A bit harsh, don't you think?" said Hercules with concern.

Ephiny pinned him with a stare. "You know her history with Amazons, Hercules. I watched her drag Gabrielle behind her horse like an animal carcass. She then appeared months later saying that Gabrielle had died-because of her. The first sight of my queen since then is her lying beaten half to death in Xena's camp." Ephiny put both hands on her hips. "Forgive me if I am a little over cautious." Her quiet but caustic tone left no room for argument. The demi god sighed and nodded.

He surveyed the scene. The Amazons and Centaurs were securing all the unconscious soldiers and Amazons. Solari was sitting on the ground away from the mass of bodies and had Epinon's head in her lap. She was stroking it and talking to her gently. He watched as Piri and her group hovered around Iolaus and Gabrielle. "I'm going with them," he said, his eyes following the healer. He sprinted towards his injured friends while Ephiny trailed in his wake. As he drew closer he could hear Iolaus' laboured breathing from several paces away. Joxer was cutting the binds that supported him and Hercules stood in front and caught him as he fell forwards. His friend was totally unrecognisable due to the swelling and bruises on his face and his blood soaked hair. Hercules gently cradled him as if he were a child. "Use that tent," said Piri and she pointed towards the largest one.

Hercules ran to the tent and gently laid Iolaus on the bedrolls on the ground. Joxer had followed him and started to unpack the healing kit. Hercules held his hand gently, rubbing his fingers up and down the smaller man's palm. Gabrielle arrived in the tent being carried by Dax and accompanied by Piri, Tyldus and an anxious looking Ephiny. There was little room after the bard was lain down on the bedrolls-the tent was already feeling cramped and oppressive. "What do you need?" said the ever practical Tyldus to Piri. The healer looked at her queen and Iolaus and closed her eyes. When she had opened them she had tears in them. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She had seen many wounds and injuries before, primarily as a result of battle, but these were horrific wounds of torture. There was blood. So much blood. She tried to focus on the task at hand. "You can do this Piri," said Tyldus gently. He put a hand on her shoulder. "You are a good healer." Piri nodded dumbly and inhaled deeply. That meant a lot coming from the taciturn centaur. Her emotions would have to wait, she was needed. She forced herself into medic mode.

"I'm going to need cooled boiled water, and bandages and rags; I haven't got enough. If there are no bandages, find clean cloth, sheets whatever and rip them up. And wood for splints. I can see that Iolaus has a broken leg and there may be more broken bones." Her voice was shaky but got stronger as she became immersed in her task. She looked at Ephiny whose eyes were riveted to Gabrielle and Hercules who still sat silently with Iolaus' bloodied hand in his. "I'm going to need help; it's too much for me and Joxer." Her voice caught for a moment. "I can ask Asteria to come and assist me, if you feel you can't face it."

"I'm staying. What ever you want me to do," said Hercules quietly.

Ephiny turned her head slightly towards Piri and nodded quickly before her gaze returned to Gabrielle.

Tyldus squeezed Piri's shoulder. "You've got it" he said and left the tent with Dax and started to bark orders. Joxer continued to unpack the medical supplies onto a sheet. Piri turned to Hercules and Ephiny.

"You stay with Iolaus. I'm going to examine the Queen first and then him."

"What do you want us to do?" asked Hercules.

"Set his leg first, Hercules. You're the best person for that. Then any other bones you find out of place, like his arm." She looked at Joxer who was looking nervously at Iolaus. "Then start on his back Joxer. Carefully soak his shirt off before trying to clean it. And cover any bleeding wounds."

The men both nodded and knelt beside their friend.

Piri kneeled down beside Gabrielle and looked her over for a few seconds. She blinked back the tears in her eyes. She liked Gabrielle and had many warm conversations with her. Her first duty was the queen's health and it had certainly led to tensions with Xena as they both claimed rights when it came to anything to do with Gabrielle. She looked up as Ephiny sunk to the ground on the opposite side to her and gently held Gabrielle's hand. The regent's face was one of deep sadness. They exchanged a brief glance before Piri began her examination.

Her expert hands gently caressed Gabrielle's head feeling for any fractures. There were several bumps and she winced as she came across them and looked for any reaction on Gabrielle's face. There was a look of discomfort and a quiet moan, which perversely pleased the healer as it showed Gabrielle was not deeply unconscious. Her hands moved down to Gabrielle's face. Piri could tell her nose was broken; there as already the tell tale swellings under both eyes, one was particularly swollen and her mouth and neck was covered in dried blood. She grasped her nose and with a swift movement and a small crack it was back in place. She moved down and felt Gabrielle's neck and along her shoulder blades. There was some bruising and then Piri groaned as she felt Gabrielle's left shoulder was dislocated. She then moved down her arms, noting several gashes that needed stitching to Gabrielle's left hand. Picking it up gently Piri could feel the broken bones and from the moans and movements the bard was making it was causing Gabrielle serious discomfort. The hammer marks were evident and deep bruising and swelling was already forming. She placed it down gently and inhaled deeply.

"Well?" asked Ephiny impatiently. "Shouldn't we start? The blood loss-"

"Do I interrupt you as you are drawing your bow? Do I question your technique?" The healer spoke in a calm controlled tone but her eyes showed the depth of her anger. She took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly before speaking again.

"I know you are concerned Ephiny." She adopted a gentler tone. "But I need to see what we are up against before I do anything."

"Sorry." Muttered Ephiny. She swallowed and then said quietly, "Will she live?"

Before Piri could answer there was a loud crack and a blood curdling yell. They looked up and saw that Hercules and Joxer were looking shocked and although still unconscious Iolaus was breathing hard and fast. She looked at his leg and saw it was much straighter. She gave them both a comforting smile before facing the terrified looking Regent.

"I will do everything in my power to ensure they both live," said Piri without the sign of nerves that she felt. "She has a good chance. But I can't make guarantees." She bowed her head. She could do only so much; she had lost too many to infection and blood loss. Just then Charope and Dax carried in two pots of water.

"It's still hot," said Dax. Charope stared at Gabrielle and then across to Iolaus and left without saying a word. Piri rolled her eyes before she turned her attention back to Gabrielle and gazed at the dirty, blood soaked tunic. She drew a knife from her pack and cut through the filthy material. She nodded her head towards a blanket by Ephiny and she picked it up and covered Gabrielle from the men's sight.

Piri eased the garments away from Gabrielle and for a moment both women froze. They ignored the bruising on Gabrielle's rib cage; the uncomfortable manner how she breathed; the various cuts and slashes, many of them were still oozing, some looking red and inflamed. All they could see were scratch and bite marks across her chest and throat. Ephiny gently pushed back the blond blood soaked hair from her neck with a shaking hand to see a large bite on it. She inhaled deeply as she focused on the mark. She started to shake with the rage she felt.

"Ephiny!" Piri's voice was insistent. "You need to push this to one side. I need you now." Ephiny looked away for several seconds and when Piri saw her face again she could see Ephiny had gained a measure of control. "Sorry." There was a pause. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hold the blanket; I want to remove the rest of her clothing."

Piri cut the remains of her skirt and threw the knife to one side. She then rolled the skirt off Gabrielle and gently prised her legs apart. A sob escaped Ephiny's lips before she could stop it. The healer gently laid her hand on top of the regent's. "Cover her up," said Piri shakily and Ephiny obliged. Piri then spent time palpating Gabrielle's stomach before moving down each leg. She stared at her feet breathing deeply, trying to regain her composure. "Ephiny, I'm going to roll her towards you." The healer gently rolled Gabrielle. Her back was a bloody mess; in places the tunic was ripped apart and lash marks were visible, in others the material was stuck to her skin like a burr on animal fur. With Ephiny's help she gently rolled the bard onto her stomach, and after gently pacing the bard's shattered hand on a pillow, she stood up. "I'm going to assess Iolaus; I'd like you to start on her back. Get the tunic off her-cut it; soak it if you have to. Then start to clean the wounds." She gave Ephiny a comforting smile. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"She's my friend," said Ephiny simply, and started to gently cut the material away. Piri moved around Gabrielle carefully and onto Iolaus.

She could see that Hercules and Joxer had set his arm and leg and had splinted both. The demi god was holding him in his arms as Joxer cut his blood soaked shirt and gently peeled it away from his skin. Piri was impressed with Joxer's skills as a healer. Knowing him to be a clumsy swordsman he had a gentle touch and efficient way about him. She looked Iolaus over as she had Gabrielle. His injuries were very similar; broken ribs, bruises, cuts and the terrible whip marks. He also had a broken jaw and like Gabrielle a nasty head wound.

Even though they were working diligently, Piri could see the effect it was having on both of them seeing their friends in this way. Hercules looked totally shattered, and Joxer appeared barely in check of his emotions. "Why don't you go Hercules?" the healer said.

"I don't want to leave him," he said although his voice lacked conviction.

"Herc?" said Joxer gently.

"No I want to stay here, with him."

Piri nodded. "Leave that stitching to me," she said to Joxer pointing at a cut on Iolaus' face and anything else you are not sure of. Hercules, we may need your help with Gabrielle."

Joxer smiled weakly and set back to work. Hercules looked at Gabrielle for several moments before re-focusing his attention on Iolaus. Piri carefully manoeuvred over to Ephiny who was gently removing the remains of the tunic.

They all became engrossed in their tasks, there was little speaking, only an occasional moan or whimper from one of the patients breaking the silence or the odd Amazon delivering hastily made bandages and wood for splints. They worked diligently for over an hour, cleaning, stitching, wrapping, and were close to finishing when Thea stuck her head through the flap of the tent.

She coughed and looked down, "She's coming around".

They all knew who she was.

"Thank you Thea," said Ephiny. She finished wrapping the bandage around Gabrielle's leg and looked down at her friend. She lent over and gave her a kiss on the forehead and gently stroked her cheek with her thumb. She then eased her self up to a standing position and turned on her heels to follow Thea out of the tent.

"Wait Ephiny, I'm coming too," said Hercules and he stood up and gave the regent a pointed look.

"Ephiny," said Piri, "keep her out for a few minutes. I'll come across and talk to her. Prepare her."

Ephiny gazed sadly at Gabrielle and swallowed and turned and walked out of the tent without a word, Hercules following quietly behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is little violence in this chapter but extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in the last chapter. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

**Angst Disclaimer: **It's rising!

_Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!_

Ephiny and Hercules blinked as they left the dark interior of the tent and walked into dazzling sunshine. Ephiny took a deep breath and stretched; the smell of healing lotions within the small cramped environment was overpowering and it was good to take deep breaths of fresh air and move around freely. As they were ten paces from where Xena still lay prone, Hercules grabbed Ephiny's arm. "You will let her see Gabrielle?" It was asked as a question but Hercules' tone meant he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Ephiny nodded. "On my terms." She said in an equally determined tone.

The dizziness, dry mouth and nausea were feelings that Xena hadn't experienced for a long time. Not together anyhow. Momentarily she was disorientated; she struggled to remember where she was and how she got there. She kept her eyes shut while she tried to familiarize herself. She could sense she was lying down in the open, she was unbound, and she could hear the bustle of people around and of some sitting close to her. Carefully she opened her eyes, fearful that the warm sun she could feel on her body would also be bright and dazzling. She was proved correct; the sun did dazzle her and so she closed them again. _The clash of swords. The joy of running someone through. _Xena gasped and opened her eyes again this time wide. She breathed deeply quickly several times and once her breathing was under control she focused on her immediate surroundings. She used her hands to push herself up into a sitting position. She came face to face with two armed, angry looking amazons.

"A welcoming committee, how nice," she said.

"That's right," growled one of the Amazons. "Don't pretend you don't remember. You-"

"Thank you Protis," said a familiar voice.

"Ephiny?" Xena looked up to see the regent looking down at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Next to her stood-

"Hercules?" said Xena, confused. Hercules was in full view, smiling although it didn't reach his eyes.

"How are you doing?" The demi god said gently and offered Xena a waterskin. She drank deeply. She closed her eyes as she drank, and more images flashed before her eyes; _Fire, She'll be excellent, the lure of Darkness. _Her eyes sprung open and she dropped the waterskin and looked at the crowd surrounding her.

"You're safe, Xena. It's over," said Hercules.

"It was real," Xena whispered. She looked intently at Hercules and then at Ephiny. "It really happened. Those are _my_ memories." Her whisper was laced with anguish.

"You drunk from the Challis of Hectate and were infected by darkness. " Hercules said and he crouched next to her. "You had no control over your actions-the darkness did." There was silence as they both stared at each other. Hercules could see Xena was remembering the events of the past few days and desperately trying to keep control of her strained emotions. _Slapping, punching, and using the pinch…On Gabrielle. Lindos, she's yours_

"Oh Gods," Xena whispered, and Hercules wrapped his arms around her. After several moments she pulled away. Her face was emotionless, the warrior mask had snapped into place. Xena scrambled to her feet and the amazons took a step towards her menacingly. Ephiny raised a hand and they halted but kept their gazes fixed on Xena. She in turn glared back at them before turning to Ephiny.

"Where is she?" she said.

"Piri's tending to them. She'll be here in a few minutes to fill you in." Ephiny's voice had coolness to it which Xena and Hercules couldn't fail to notice.

"How is she? And Iolaus?" Xena whispered and her eyes darted around the camp. The memories were coming back, but she pushed them to one side for now.

There was silence. Xena pinned Ephiny with a hard stare. The regent swallowed.

"They're in a bad way." Pause. "Piri can tell you more than I can."

Xena closed her eyes and pictured the last time she saw Gabrielle and Iolaus. Bloodied, battered and bruised and still not saying a word.

As she opened them she saw the healer making her way towards them. As usual her expression was neutral. She nodded at the three of them, and gave an exasperated look at Protis and Thea. Xena opened her mouth to talk but Piri raised her hand and spoke before Xena could get her words out.

"Warrior, how are you?"

Xena couldn't have been more surprised at the question. "I'm fine, I'm more-"

"Have you had plenty to drink? You need to flush through the sedative. I'm guessing you have some nausea and dizziness." Hercules bent down and retrieved the dropped waterskin and after shaking it and establishing it still contained fluid he rose and handed it to Xena. Xena drank from it still keeping her eyes on the healer.

"Iolaus' has a broken leg; it was a bad break and his knee is a real mess. He has a broken jaw; several ribs are broken, his back has been lashed repeatedly and will scar markedly." She paused so her words could sink in. "He has several head wounds and is still unconscious. He has bruising on his stomach so we need to watch for internal bleeding, fever and infection."

Piri put her hand on Hercules's arm to comfort him. The big man nodded and looked away tears in eyes.

"Gabrielle?" asked Xena, and Piri started talking again in a softer voice, looking straight at Xena, "the queen has a dislocated shoulder and her nose, wrist and several ribs are broken." She paused knowing there was worse news coming, "She too has a head injury and is still unconscious. Her hand is shattered-I haven't done anything with it as it is too swollen. She also has severe bruising to her stomach and several wounds to her back are already infected." Xena locked eyes with her and could see no anger or reproach in the older woman's gaze.

"I want to see her," said Xena.

"Of course Warrior, follow me."

"You must be joking," said Charope, who was one of several amazons who had joined Thea and Protis. "I saw what your handiwork did." The Amazon glared at Xena who matched the look with equal amount of ferocity.

"Xena has a right to see Gabrielle," said Hercules coolly.

"A right," laughed Protis. "After what she did. Look at her, heartless emotionless cow. She's probably sorry she didn't finish her off." The words had barely left her lips when Xena's movement towards her was so quick that only Hercules could pick it up and he wrapped his arms around her inches from where the Amazon was standing. No one else had time to move.

"That's enough," said Ephiny sharply. They all turned to look at her.

"Xena can visit. At all times she will be accompanied by me or Piri. When not in the tent, she will have a small detail following her." She looked directly at Xena, who had untangled herself from Hercules' grasp and had given him an annoyed look.

"If you try anything such as losing or harming your detail, you will be arrested and visiting privileges to the queen will be removed." She then glared at the Amazons. "If Xena is harmed in any way, the Amazon responsible will be doing a month of guard duty on the Northern ridge. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

"Yes Ephiny" was the murmur from the amazons and when she looked at Xena, the warrior princess nodded silently.

The three of them followed Piri to the tent. Joxer was sitting next to Gabrielle talking quietly to her. He looked up as the three entered the tent and when he saw who it was he sprang to his feet. He watched as Xena paused to look at Iolaus and then gazed at Gabrielle.

"I'll just-," said Joxer and he turned to leave almost tripping over discarded clothing in his haste to exit. He wanted to leave before his emotions overwhelmed him totally. The last few hours had proved to be traumatic for everyone, and Joxer was no exception.

"Thank you Joxer." Piri smiled warmly at him. He had proved himself a fine healer. He nodded and left the tent.

Hercules sunk next to Iolaus and gently ruffled his hair. Piri busied herself with tidying her stock, or what was left of it. Ephiny watched Xena. She was transfixed by the sight of Gabrielle. She dropped to her knees and took in the bandaged head, swollen eyes, the massive bandage on Gabrielle's left hand and the splint on her arm. She went to brush Gabrielle's bangs out of her eyes but stopped. She stared at her hands. Hands that had held Gabrielle, soothed her in Britannia, dragged her back from Hades realm in that Thessalian temple and bought her pleasure again and again. Oh she knew they would never be clean of blood. Nothing she would do would ever rid them of that. But now; when she looked at them she saw the pain she had inflicted. They were hands that had struck Gabrielle only a few months into their partnership; they were hands that had thrown a rope around her and dragged her across the countryside to kill her. These hands put the pinch on her and would have left her for dead; she hit, slapped and cut with them. And she handed her over, to Lindos.

She shuffled onto her bottom and continued to be transfixed by the sight of her motionless hands. She had lived with guilt for many years, first casting it aside, and when she at last embraced it, she learnt to master it, making sure she did not let it control her. This was different. She had hurt Gabrielle once before, mad with grief over Solon, enraged by Ares, and they had got past it, moved on. But they had needed the intervention of her son and the healing waters of Illusia to do it. Challis or no challis she should have known, felt something. How could she do something like this to the person she loved more than life itself? How could the darkness won over her so easily without a fight? Had the last few years been for nothing? How could Gabrielle forgive her, when she couldn't forgive herself? Her emotions, so tightly controlled, unravelled as the wave of guilt threatened to engulf her. She started to sob and then her whole body shook convulsively and she rocked backwards and forwards, wailing. Hercules, Piri and Ephiny gazed at her and then bowed their heads, conscious that they didn't want to intrude in the private moment of grief. After a minute her sobs quietened down and she inhaled deeply several times in order to regain control. Her hands were still palms up, inches from Gabrielle. She quickly brought them onto her lap and looked from them to Gabrielle, wincing at the sight of her, pale and bruised.

There was silence for several minutes after that. The only noises were the ragged breaths of Gabrielle and Iolaus and of Piri carefully sorting her equipment.

Ephiny stared for a long while at Xena. She had been shocked at the sight of Xena wailing, and she had felt a tinge of compassion. Now she was faced with an emotionless mask.

"You can touch her," said Ephiny coolly.

Xena looked down and then across at the Amazon.

"No," she whispered in an anguished tone that made a mockery of her face. "I can't." She stared straight back at the Amazon.

They both tore their gazes away to see Joxer enter the tent. He had brought four mugs and handed them to everyone. Xena stared into hers and was lost in thought as Hercules' voice broke the silence.

"Are you ready for the whole story?" he said.

Xena looked away, back to Gabrielle and then towards her friends.

"Yes," her answer tinged with anger. "Tell me."

At this Piri and Joxer sunk to the ground. Ephiny turned to look at Hercules.

"Gabrielle arrived in Renwa, pretty shaken up. She told us about your meeting with Claudine and Lindos. I knew about the effects of the challis and that there was an antidote, the oil of lanius. We called upon Hephaestus to help us-well Gabrielle did. He agreed to help-seemed quite pleased. "Hercules exchanged a smile with Joxer as they remembered the God's enthusiasm for the task.

"Joxer went to the amazons, I got the oil and they-"Hercules looked at Iolaus, "they went to destroy the challis. I didn't know they were going to do it. They decided after I went." The words came out quickly and the sorrow and anger the demi god felt was evident.

"You heard Hephaestus, it was their choice," said Ephiny sympathetically.

Xena watched the exchange. Hercules smiled weakly at her. "That's our side of the story."

"I'm sorry," Xena whispered.

"It's not your fault," said Hercules.

Xena looked at the bard and said softly, "I remember everything. They were going to kill her that's why I drunk from it. I couldn't lose her, not after-"Xena paused and momentarily looked grief-stricken. "I drank from it and now I can feel myself changing. Like nothing mattered any more. Only darkness. It was like a drug. I had to have it, and I didn't care what I did or to whom." Xena turned to look at Ephiny. "We came across the Amazons. I fought Pony and decided they would be ideal recruits to my army." Her voice was laced with sarcasm. "We had set up camp here, we were going to move off, but we had two intruders. I saw it as a chance to have some fun with them" she gave a snort, "Claudine was mad, she wanted them to suffer, so I was happy to oblige." She looked down at Gabrielle and tightened her face in order to stop the sobs. She looked away for a moment and smiled. "They never said a word, not one. We had no idea you were coming, who was involved."

"That's what they wanted," said Ephiny.

"Those traders and villagers," whispered Xena. "They're all dead. Because of me."

Ephiny and Hercules exchanged a look. "Yes," said Hercules simply. "But their blood is not on your hands." He looked directly at Xena.

"Yes it is," said Xena sadly.

"It wasn't your fault, Xena. It wasn't you." Joxer spoke for the first time.

Xena turned to look at him.

"How can you say that? I killed those people. I helped to torture Iolaus and Gabrielle. It was me."

"NO!" said Hercules. "It wasn't your fault. Gabrielle said you didn't know her, didn't recognise her. "Hercules rubbed his face with his hands. "Think about that Xena. You didn't recognise her or Epinon and the Amazons. That's not you. If you did you would never had let anything happen."

"But because of my dark side-"

"Everyone has a dark side," said Joxer.

"Mine is slightly larger than most," said Xena sarcastically.

There was silence.

Piri looked around the tent before focusing on Xena. "So is it just you that is going to wear a hair shirt or shall I make one for Epinon and the others?"

Xena looked at her quizzically.

"Epinon fought against those traders with you," said Piri. "As did the other Amazons. The traders took arms against their loved ones and colleagues. It was not your fault, it was the challis. You were not responsible."

"But my darkness-"Xena was exasperated.

"It doesn't matter how much darkness you have." Said Hercules. "Everyone has some darkness. Whether its anger or jealously, the challis feeds off of it. You just had greater skills and tactical awareness. This is not the first time the challis has been used, and it's always led to tragedy. This is not your fault. Don't carry the guilt, it won't help you."

"Your Amazons don't think that. Neither do you" Xena looked straight at Ephiny. The regent had the grace to blush and looked at Gabrielle.

"No," she said quietly. "But-"her voice drifted off.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"There is something else, Xena." Hercules looked concerned. "Ares."

"What in Hades has he got to do with it?" Xena growled and her eyes became grey with anger.

"We think he gave Claudine and Lindos the challis."

Xena gave a shudder when those names were mentioned that wasn't lost on the other occupants of the tent.

"Are they here?" Asked Xena. They would pay for what they did, especially Lindos, although she knew some of the blame was hers.

"I'll check", said Joxer eager to leave the emotionally charged tent for a spell.

"Why do you think Ares is involved? I know it smells of him, but it could have been dumb luck they found the challis."

Hercules looked uncomfortable. "Gabrielle thought it was him, as do my family." Hercules, Piri and Ephiny watched as Xena slowly shook her head and made fists with her hands. She brought the right down on the ground with as much force as she could.

"He won't stay out of my life. And she has to suffer." Xena looked upwards and within moments had controlled her emotions again so she was wearing her expressionless mask.

"Thank you," she said genuinely.

Piri walked over and started to fiddle with Gabrielle's bandages. Hercules excused himself and went back to sit next to Iolaus.

"I'm going to see how Pony and the others are doing," said Ephiny and she rose and walked out the tent. Xena watched Piri working.

Piri became aware of the Xena's stare. Their eyes locked and Piri could see the pain in them.

Xena swallowed. "You never judge me. Ever."

"Not my place to judge, warrior. I heal."

"I hurt your queen. I was moments from killing her, without a second thought. You must have some feelings on that?"

Piri cocked her head to one side, and smiled. "Do I believe that without intervention you would have done that? No. So it wasn't you. Yes you drive me to distraction sometimes Warrior, I wish you'd let me do my job in peace, but I don't doubt your devotion to the queen." She raised her eyes upwards. "Besides when you have been around as long as me, nothing surprises you. Gods have a habit of interfering in people's lives and using them for their own amusement." She looked at Xena again. "You'll be fine Xena." Xena couldn't hide her surprise at the use of her name. "She loves you. She won't blame you."

"Piri, I think he's coming around," Hercules's shout interrupted the women. Piri hurried over to Iolaus' side. The blonde man was breathing deeply and noisily and his eyelids were fluttering. Hercules held his hand while Xena turned and watched.

"Come on buddy, you're safe." Hercules spoke quietly. Iolaus' eyes opened quickly and shut again. Within a few seconds they opened again. His breathing remained noisy.

"Hey buddy," said Hercules the relief obvious in his voice and his eyes tinged with tears.

"Hercules," said Iolaus hoarsely. He winced as he spoke due to the pain in his jaw.

"Careful, you might have to keep quiet for a while. That'll be tough," Hercules smiled and to his delight Iolaus gave him a weak one in return.

"You're safe, it's over."

"Gab-is she?"

"She's over there. She's as beaten up as you," said Hercules. Piri had settled close to Iolaus and was checking his bandages.

"You need to drink," she said and with that Hercules gently propped Iolaus up in his arms.

"Xena, could you-"

With that Iolaus turned to Piri oblivious of the pain in his body. "Xena." His voice drifted off as he saw the warrior princess in the background picking up a waterskin.

"YOU!" he yelled. "Keep away from me, and keep her away from Gabrielle." He paused breathing hard, although his eyes were blazing. Piri, Hercules and Xena looked at him stunned and before they could speak he started to shout again.

"I'll never forgive you Xena. Never. What you did-"

"Iolaus it was the challis. You know what it does. She had no choice, no control." Hercules's tone was one of surprise.

"Iolaus, I'm sorry I hurt you, I truly am," said Xena distressed.

"I don't care about me," the blond man continued. His anger had given him the strength to continue, even though agonising pain shot through his entire body. "It's what you did to her." He pointed shakily at Gabrielle.

Joxer and Ephiny rushed in, after hearing the raised voices. They looked between Iolaus and Xena who was motionless, her face passive, staring at Iolaus.

"Iolaus," said Hercules sadly. His face was creased in sadness. The two friends looked at each other. Iolaus broke down in tears.

"How could you have handed her over to him, Xena?" His voice was no longer angry, but mournful. His shoulders shook and Hercules tightened his grip on him. "You know what he wanted. No one deserves that. I-I-"He couldn't finish as he started sobbing. Xena remained frozen to the spot, conscious that Ephiny and Joxer were staring at her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is little violence in this chapter but extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in the last chapter. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

**Angst Disclaimer: **It's rising!

Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Hercules and Piri waited until Iolaus had composed himself and then ensured he drunk well and laid him down on the bedrolls. There was silence. Piri was looking him over with a critical eye and Hercules continued to hold his hand. He opened his eyes and turned to look at Hercules. "Xena," he whispered. The demi god looked at Xena who was still staring into space, rooted to the spot.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things." Iolaus tentatively turned his head towards Xena.

"Yes, you should." Xena sighed and took a step towards him.

"No. My temper got the better of me. Shame I couldn't have put up more of a fight back at the camp." The blond looked embarrassed.

Xena sunk to her knees next to him. "You're in pain, and angry. This is not your fault. You're right, what I did." She closed her eyes. "I will never forget it."

"But that wasn't you, Xena, and we both knew that. And it wasn't just you either. Lindos he was the one…" Iolaus stopped unable to continue, his emotions getting the better of him, but held his hand out for Xena to take. She did gently.

Joxer cleared his throat. "You might want to know that Claudine and Lindos are not within the camp."

"Any ideas where they may be, Xena? Surely they didn't know about the attack?"

Xena looked at Hercules. "No I think they said they were meeting someone. Just dumb luck that they are not here."

"Ares?" said Joxer.

"Maybe," said Xena quietly. She felt a tug on her hand. She looked down at Iolaus.

"How is she?" His speech was becoming more slurred as he was fighting to stay awake.

"Still unconscious." Xena looked around at the bard. "Badly injured."

"Sorry," said Iolaus and closed his eyes, and within moments he was asleep.

Xena stared at him for a time and then got up. She sat next to Gabrielle again, still not touching her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked around to see pained caramel eyes looking at her.

"I'm sorry too," said Ephiny. "You were right I did blame you." She looked to the ground.

"You thought I-I violated her, didn't you?"

"Yes," whispered Ephiny. She looked up with tears running down her face. "I couldn't have forgiven you for that." There was silence between the two of them.

Xena broke the silence, "I have hurt her, and you before. Whatever punishment you see fit, I'll take."

"It may not be up to me or Gabrielle," said Ephiny, awkwardly. "It would be up to council." She looked up at Xena. "I don't think anything we give you could cause you more pain than this."

"No," said Xena simply. "Thank you Ephiny. You've been a fine friend to Gabrielle. It's good to know you're around for her."

Ephiny looked away embarrassed.

"How are Epinon and the others?" It was the first time Xena had asked after them.

"Confused. Guilty. Dreading see Gabrielle." Ephiny gave a weak smile. "Fancy some dinner?"

Xena nodded, and Ephiny quickly excused herself relieved to be away from the tense atmosphere.

"Why don't you have a walk around the camp?"

"I told you I'm fine," growled Xena. "I have had enough to eat; I don't need a refreshing wash or a nap. I am fine here." She looked down at her hands folded in her lap. She wished they would stop fussing over her, leave her in peace so she could get her thoughts in order. She hadn't moved for the last few hours, and the crowded atmosphere of the tent was getting on her frayed nerves.

"I think-"

"I don't care Piri, if you think I need to eat more, I am not." Xena had lost her patience. Her eyes were riveted on Gabrielle. Piri and Ephiny exchanged a glance.

"I was going to say warrior, I think that Gabrielle may be coming around soon."

Xena looked up at the healer, and for a heartbeat Piri could see the fear in Xena's eyes but just as quickly it was extinguished and they became neutral. She had sensed Gabrielle's breathing pattern changing, and her body uncomfortably moving about more and more. She was torn; she wanted to speak to Gabrielle, reaffirm their love, and reassure the bard she would recover, yet she dreaded the thought that Gabrielle would wake and she would see hatred or fear in those expressive emerald eyes. See it all but briefly and it would devastate her, but if the past few days had destroyed their bond and Gabrielle hated her, Xena wasn't sure how she would recover.

Gabrielle's deep and ragged breathing caught the women's attention. They watched and held their collective breath as the bard's eyelids fluttered for a few moments. A couple of noisy breaths followed and then both eyes opened. There was silence. Gabrielle swallowed painfully and blinked a couple of times. Ephiny leaned over her, and the bard smiled weakly.

"Eph, you came," said Gabrielle, her voice hoarse and croaky.

"Hey I couldn't turn down a queen's order," the regent said and gently rubbed the back of her hand against Gabrielle's cheek. They exchanged a smile. Ephiny looked at Xena, who had shuffled away from Gabrielle, and glared at her.

"Xena," whispered Gabrielle. Her eyes darted about trying to focus.

"I'm here, Gabrielle," said Xena finally expelling the breath she was holding. Her voice was stronger than she felt.

Gabrielle licked her dry lips and spoke again, in a hoarse whisper, "Iolaus?"

"He's safe; Hercules, Joxer and the Amazons are all here."

"Good." Gabrielle closed her eyes and took a couple of breaths in and then moaned.

"My Queen, we need to help you up so you can have a drink, OK?" Piri reached around and picked up a waterskin.

"Piri, I might have known as I feel this bad you would be here," said Gabrielle slowly.

"I aim to please," dead panned the healer and moved closer to the bard. She too pinned Xena with a stare. Xena shook her head. Her heart was still pounding and her throat was dry. Her anxiety hadn't been abated yet.

Piri and Ephiny supported Gabrielle. "Warrior we need your help." All three turned to look at her, and she slowly moved towards them. She took a deep breath in and raised her eyes to meet the bard's. Xena saw none of the emotions she had spent years happy to see in people's eyes fear, anger, hate or revulsion. It was a look of love. Her heart soared and for a moment she was overcome with emotion, and couldn't stifle a sob.

"Love you," mouthed the bard.

"Right back at you," whispered Xena and she helped to pour water into the bard's mouth.

"Not too much, now," said Piri and her and Ephiny gently lowered her back into her bedrolls. They exchanged a knowing look and moved away. Xena almost shyly moved towards the bard and sat next to her. Gabrielle watched her and smiled. With that Xena's confidence grew and she gently traced her fingers around Gabrielle's bruised face, luxuriating in the feel of her skin. With her other hand she gently brought Gabrielle's right hand to her lips.

They sat like that for several moments both relishing the closeness they had missed for so long, not noticing that Piri and Ephiny moved away to the other side of Iolaus to give them privacy.

Gabrielle smiled. "I hope you weren't doing anything stupid like blaming yourself." Her voice was stilted and punctuated by heavy breathing.

"I'm so, so, sorry," said Xena.

"It wasn't your fault," said Gabrielle and winced visibly.

"Piri," said Xena and she stroked Gabrielle's hair to try and distract her from the pain.

The healer came to Xena's side and handed her a small cup. Xena wrapped her arms around Gabrielle and raising her up, and between them they helped her to drink the foul tasting medicine. "I love you so much, my bard," she whispered into Gabrielle's ear. Gabrielle was too overcome with discomfort and tiredness to reply and as Xena laid her down, Gabrielle's eyes drooped shut. Xena felt the subtlest squeeze on her hand and she carried on stroking the bard's hair even as her breathing settled down and she knew Gabrielle was asleep.

Xena sat with tears running down her face staring at the peaceful face of her partner. Her relief was palpable, she felt energised and resolute-the next few weeks or months would be dedicated to Gabrielle's recovery how ever long it took. She would deal with her guilt; because now she knew she had the warmth of Gabrielle's love to sustain her.

She was surreptitiously wiping her eyes as Ephiny and Piri approached. Ephiny laid a hand on her shoulder.

"OK?" asked Ephiny and she knelt beside Gabrielle and rubbed her arm.

Xena nodded.

Piri looked around the tent. "We need to think about we are going to do."

"How so?" asked Ephiny.

Piri spread her arms around the tent. "This is far from ideal, and I have a limited supply of medications."

"What's wrong Piri?" Xena stared at the healer. She was not one for making bold suggestions without some thought.

"I'm worried about Iolaus' leg and the Queen's hand. But I'm even more concerned about the risk of infection. We need to get back to Amazonia."

"Isn't it dangerous for them to travel?" asked the demi god who was listening.

"It's not perfect," admitted the healer, "but in the long run, I believe it will be beneficial. I'll sedate them both so there is little chance of them waking. We're looking at just over a day continuous travelling."

She looked at Xena, who nodded.

"There are several carts, when did you want to leave?" Ephiny asked.

"The sooner the better," Piri and Xena said in unison.

Ephiny nodded. "Do you fancy seeing your number two girl, Xena?"

Xena frowned.

"Argo. She wandered into a camp a little while ago."

Xena smiled but remained motionless.

"I'll stay with her, if you want to go," said Ephiny still looking at Gabrielle. "It'll do you good, stretch your legs."

"OK, thanks Ephiny," said Xena.

"But you'll have to have an escort. Sorry." The regent looked uncomfortable.

Xena shrugged.

"No I am. I was angry. Pony and the others don't have one."

"Pony has never attacked the queen before. Or isn't high on some Amazon's hit list. Don't worry about it." Xena paused. "Thank you." She whispered gratefully. She looked from one woman to the next. "For everything."

Ephiny gave a weak smile.

Xena leapt to her feet. "If anything changes-"

"I will be straight out to see you." Xena stared for a few seconds and walked out of the tent.

She was met by Charope and Cara. They scowled at each other and the Amazons followed Xena as she crossed the camp to where the palomino was enjoying a long drink of water. The saddle and bags were carefully placed nearby. Xena smiled as she watched the noble animal. Almost as if she sensed her, and maybe she did, Argo looked up. For a moment they stared at each other, until Xena strode towards her. She rubbed her hand up and down her nose and the other found the spot behind her right ear she liked so much. However Argo continued to stare. "What's up girl?" asked Xena, slightly perturbed by her horse's reaction. Argo hadn't seen her once she had drunk from the challis; she hadn't suffered at her hands. Argo bent her head down and flicked a saddle bag with her nose. A couple of scrolls fell out as well as the bard's staff, folded away. Xena looked at the items for several moments, and gave a weak smile and looked back at Argo. "She's fine, Argo." Xena's voice broke. "She's fine." Argo nuzzled in with real affection and Xena held her tight. "We might need you later-to pull a cart." Xena looked into the horse's eyes. "I know it's not your style but Gabrielle will be on it."

Argo whickered in agreement and her head bobbed up and down. Xena laughed and it felt so good to have that release. She would never forget the deaths of villagers and traders, yet she felt less guilt for them than she did for the abuses she heaped on Gabrielle and Iolaus. Her practical side knew she had little choice in the matter; the feeling of bloodlust was overwhelming; she also realised that had she not have killed those people another one of the army would have. But the pain she caused Gabrielle and Iolaus, that was another matter. She sighed. Gabrielle may have forgiven her but she had a long way before she could forgive herself.

She looked up sharply as Charope muttered some words, and gave her the l_ook_.

"It's funny, Charope," Xena drawled, "I don't remember you being this concerned about Gabrielle's health when you sided with Velasca."

The Amazon bristled. "I've been loyal since then. _I_ would never hurt the _queen,_" she emphasized the first and last words. "It's not her I have a problem with."

Xena took a step forward and bared her teeth. If this upstart wanted to challenge her, bring it on. She could do with releasing some energy, after being cooped up in the tent for so long.

"Charope, don't," said Cara and edged towards them. Charope and Xena both turned to look at her and took a step towards each other.

"Glad you are getting on so well," a familiar voice barked and Ephiny and Solari walked towards the trio. Charope immediately stepped back and put her sword down, but not before giving Xena a look of disgust, that was matched by ferocity by Xena.

"We'll take over now," said Solari. They watched as the two other Amazons walked away.

Xena looked at Ephiny.

"Joxer's with her," she said in reply to the unspoken question.

Solari held her hand out for Xena. "How are you, Xena?"

The warrior nodded. "And Pony, how is she?"

Solari gazed across the camp to where the weapons master was sitting alone. "Quiet, disbelieving. It's a lot to get your head round. Appreciating you had no control over your actions, everything being stripped away." Solari realised who she was speaking to, and could have kicked herself. "Xena I'm sorry."

"You're right, it's hard." There was silence. "At least she has you. You understand."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"I hear Iolaus and Gabrielle regained consciousness," Solari said brightly.

"That's right," said Xena.

"I've just given the orders to move out." Ephiny said.

Xena nodded. She looked around and saw the camp had changed to a hive of activity.

"I'll go and supervise. Xena I'll see you later." Solari walked off to the centre of the camp.

"What about the rest of the army? Some of them have lost everyone." Xena remembered saving the odd villager or trader as their fighting skills had impressed her. They must be in so much pain-losing everything.

"Some have gone. Mercenaries and the like. We relived them of their weapons of course. The others are going with the centaurs. At least for the time being. Get them on their feet."

"Good idea."

"How are you doing, really Xena?" Ephiny looked concerned.

"Better, after she woke."

"You didn't think she'd hate you Xena?"

Xena rubbed her face with her hand. "I hoped she didn't. But-"she looked away from Ephiny, "You know what she went through. I was an accomplice." Xena laughed ironically. "That was one thing I could never stand. Even during my dark days. If any of my men raped they hung for it. How I've changed. I handed her over." She spat out the last words in disgust. Ephiny put her hand on her forearm in support, but didn't say anything.

"I don't know how she can forgive me."

Ephiny looked at Xena and shook her head. "Because she's Gabrielle. Come on the village wants to welcome back their queen. We've waited a long time for this."

Xena held her hand out and Ephiny took it, and they walked towards the tent.


	11. Chapter 11

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is little violence in this chapter but extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in chapter 7. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

**Angst Disclaimer: **It's rising!

Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Ephiny dismounted her horse, and inhaled deeply. It was dusk. They had made good time. She looked across at Solari who smiled and nodded. Then just as Ephiny looked towards Epinon who was gazing around the village as if seeing it for the first time, her smile faded. She walked towards Aella and Clonie who waited in the centre of the village. Aella greeted her friend warmly. It was a rarity that Gabrielle, Ephiny, Epinon and Solari, the four most powerful women in the village were all away from it simultaneously. Aella took the mantle of leadership reluctantly.

"It's good to see you Eph," said Aella.

Ephiny returned the affectionate hug. She looked at the carts that had been part of the procession entering the village with despair.

Aella's voice cut into her introspection. "How did things go?"

"Xena is no longer a rampaging warlord, if that's what you are wondering." Ephiny smiled weakly. It was plain to her friend there was a lot more to this tale. "The challis has been smashed and everyone returned to normal." She looked back at Epinon who was staring at the ground and the weary throng of people around the carts. She then turned towards Clonie, Piri's apprentice. "Are the queen's hut and guest hut set up?"

"Yes, my queen. The runner sent word that there were injuries. Shall I assist Piri?"

"Thank you Clonie, I imagine she'll require your help." The women watched Clonie walk towards the carts.

"Eph?" said Aella in a questioning tone.

"Xena the warlord encountered Pony and her team. They're not injured-but they were infected by blood lust and darkness too." Ephiny spoke quickly as she saw Aella's horrified face. She swallowed and continued, "The queen and Iolaus-"they both looked back at the carts and watched as Gabrielle was lifted out on a stretcher and carried towards the Queen's hut. "Were hurt. Badly."

"Oh Eph. I'm sorry." She knew how much Gabrielle meant to the regent.

"Artemis help them," she added and placed her hand on Ephiny in support.

"Oh we met her," said Ephiny, smiling, and aware of Aella's amazed look. "She had a nice... Bow. Any problems?"

"Nothing major. " Aella continued to stare at Ephiny in disbelief. "Artemis." Her voice faded, and to Ephiny's amusement she whispered their Goddess's name several times as if she expected her to appear. She then shook her head. "Clonie had to set an arm, do a few stitches. The usual grumbles from the usual suspects."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." Ephiny lost her smile as her eyes followed Gabrielle until she was out of sight.

"There are things that need to be sorted," she said quietly. "Council." The word hung in air. Aella nodded sympathetically.

"Not tonight. You've travelled for the last day. "Have a rest Eph, you'll feel better in the morning," said Aella.

Ephiny patted her arm in reply and slowly walked towards the queen's hut.

"Gently people," said Piri. "Hold it there."

Xena pulled back the covers of the bed and turned to face the stretcher. She put one hand on Gabrielle's hair and gently stroked it. "OK, I'm going to lift you into bed." Xena was doubtful whether the bard could hear her; she had been given sedatives throughout the journey and had not woken once. It had allowed them to move quickly and get to the security of the village.

A couple of Amazons stepped forward but Piri gave them a hard look. They stepped back but watched Xena intensely

"Here we go." Xena gently gathered Gabrielle in her arms and pivoted. She laid her in bed, covered her up and perched on the side.

"Well done everyone. Go and have a rest, you deserve it," said Piri.

None of them made a move and everyone was statuesque as Ephiny walked in.

She looked around the hut. "What's up?"

"Piri has told us we can go," said Thea, "and-"

"Xena can be left with Gabrielle. They don't need a chaperone any more." Ephiny sniggered, but became serious as she realised no one else laughed. "There will be the usual guards outside the queen's hut." She spoke with authority and the amazons nodded and trooped out of the hut leaving them.

"How is she?" said Ephiny.

"The same as when you asked a few minutes ago," said Piri neutrally. Ephiny scowled at her, and gently lent across and stroked the blond hair.

"Go to bed," said Piri more gently.

"What about you two?"

"We're going to change her bandages. Dress some wounds. Bring this fever down."

Ephiny looked from one to the other. Xena was staring at Gabrielle holding her hand.

"It's a long job; do you want me to stay?"

"No Eph, you've done so much, thank you. Get some rest." Xena said and turned to face her.

"Xena," Ephiny looked awkward. "Are you sure you want to be present?"

Xena swallowed and nodded silently.

Ephiny gently kissed Gabrielle on the forehead and made her way out of the hut.

Only then did Xena pull back the sheets that were covering Gabrielle. She exchanged a look with Piri and the healer nodded and whilst Xena started to remove the long tunic that adorned her, Piri gathered all the supplies they would need. They had changed some bandages on the journey, but Xena had yet to see the full extent of Gabrielle's injuries. Her practised eyes took in every cut, scrape and mark. Piri placed a hand on Xena's arm. The warrior looked at it and then its owner. "Why don't you step outside for a moment?" she said gently.

Xena stared at her.

Piri closed her eyes and said shakily, "There are some things a partner shouldn't see."

Xena looked down at Gabrielle and swallowed. "I'll stay" she said in a hoarse whisper. "I need, I need to do this."

They efficiently and carefully cleaned all the bite and scratch marks, before Piri gently cleaned between the bard's legs and changed the padding. Xena was silent during this, and when Piri looked up at her, she saw her face was wet with tears. Xena quickly wiped her eyes with one hand and smiled weakly. "Sorry," she said.

Piri smiled. "Just need to get more of this concoction into her. The fever won't break tonight."

"I'll stay up with her," said Xena quickly.

"As will I," replied the healer. "I'm going to check on Iolaus although I imagine Joxer and Clonie will have it organised. She's very good, and so is he."

"I think Joxer the Mighty has found his niche in life. After Gabrielle was lost to us, he said he wanted to make her proud, give up his warrior ways, so he went to train with Hippocrates."

"It's done him a world of good," said Piri warmly.

Xena closed her eyes for a moment. "Her hand?"

"We need to look at it within a few days." Piri took a deep breath in. "That will be traumatic. I'll be back later."

Piri gazed at Gabrielle before exiting the hut. Xena walked to the table and poured herself a drink before settling in a chair next to the bed.

"Can we come in?"

"Hang on a moment." Xena smoothed the clean night shift over Gabrielle and gently laid her down in the bed. "Come in guys," she shouted.

Joxer and Hercules emerged shyly through the door. Xena rose from the bed and gave Hercules a hug. He held onto her and could feel the shudders. Meanwhile Joxer sat down next to Gabrielle and was gently stroking her hair.

"Fever's down?" He asked.

Xena nodded. "Hopefully this time for good." She looked at the pile of damp clothes and bedclothes on the floor.

"How are you?" Said Hercules.

"I'm fine," said Xena brusquely.

"You don't look it," said Hercules. "Have you left this hut?"

Silence.

"Xena, take a break. Go and see Argo," said Joxer, not looking up from Gabrielle.

"Is this the first time you've been out?" Xena asked pointedly.

The men exchanged an embarrassed glance and then both looked at the floor.

"She's been so sick," whispered Xena in anguish. "The fever lasted for longer than we thought. I didn't want-"She stopped and turned away.

Hercules strode to her and hugged her. "We're sorry."

"No I am. How's Iolaus?"

The men exchanged a glance again.

"What's wrong?" asked Xena worriedly.

"I never knew you could talk so much with a broken jaw," said Hercules.

"The human body is amazing," said Joxer. "But Iolaus is stretching it."

"We've escaped," said Hercules with a hint of shame. "He's obviously getting better, as he's moaning all the time."

Hercules' mouth quivered and he caught Xena's eye and she sniggered. It felt so good to laugh at something-anything-with friends.

"So he's improving?"

"Oh yes!" said the men in unison!

Xena strode to a table and filled three mugs of wine.

"To their health." They said as they clinked their mugs.

Several hours had passed and other than eating her dinner that was brought to her, Xena remained still watching for any movement from the bard. She noticed green eyes flutter open and watched as the bard tried to orientate herself. She took her hand and gently rubbed it.

"Hey," she said. Gabrielle turned her head slowly to face her. Her face was screwed up with pain.

Xena bent down and gently kissed her lips. "Hey, back." There was a subtle smile which warmed Xena's heart. "Do you want some water?" Gabrielle gave a faint nod and yet again Xena supported her while she drank. She settled her back on the pillows aware of the pain that Gabrielle was in.

"How are you feeling?"

"Washed out and sore." Gabrielle looked around slowly. "We're in the village? How long?"

"We've been here a few days."

"How long?" Questioned a surprised Gabrielle, before wincing.

"We sedated you both to travel," said Xena gently stroking the blonde hair. "Then you had a fever. Iolaus is in the guest hut with Hercules and Joxer."

Gabrielle swallowed uncomfortably. "How is he?" asked the bard. Her voice was still croaky and hoarse.

"He's getting there."

"Good." Gabrielle breathed a small sigh and closed her eyes. Xena had noticed the tense way she held her body and her face was showing the stress.

"I'm going to get you something for the pain, OK"

"Thanks."

Xena left her seat and fetched a small bottle from the table. Again propping Gabrielle up she helped her while she drunk the contents.

"It's not a sedative, but should help with the pain. Where does it hurt?" she asked gently. Fool, she thought, she had seen the injuries, but she just didn't know what to say. All her brain could think of was the run of the mill, routine questions.

"I think telling you where it doesn't hurt would take less time," said Gabrielle wearily.

"You've not lost your sense of humour, that's good," said Xena with a relieved smile and she brought the bard's hand to her mouth for a kiss. Gabrielle wore a look of concentration and said, "My right ear is pain free." They both giggled and Xena bent down and kissed the uninjured ear. She sat back down and carried on holding Gabrielle's hand.

Gabrielle closed her eyes and then she opened it after a moment.

"Have you slept at all?" She asked with a hint of concern in her voice. "You look awful Xena!"

"Thanks!" Xena gave a chuckle. Typical of Gabrielle to be worried about her. "I'm fine. I'm more worried about you. You don't look so good yourself." Gabrielle nodded and shut her eyes again. The pain killers had yet to kick in and she was fighting to keep the pain under control. Everywhere hurt, and she tried not to think of the pain or who caused it. She inhaled and felt Xena stroke her face and neck. Images of her performing the pinch flashed through her head, her breathing grew ragged and her eyes snapped open. She saw Xena looking at her with concern and a hint of fear, and her hands left Gabrielle as if burnt. They stared at each other for a few moments. Gabrielle knew she would have to make the first move; she couldn't bear for Xena's walls to be erected again; for her to become with her the stoic, monosyllabic warrior she was with everyone else; to look at her with dull, emotionless eyes again; for the warrior's mask to be in place.

"Xena," she whispered. "It wasn't the real you. It wasn't your choice. You drank from the challis to save my life."

"And I nearly took it from you." Xena rubbed her hand through her hair and looked around the hut, trying to focus on anything but Gabrielle. "How can you touch me? How can you bare to look at me?" she whispered to the bard.

"It wasn't the real you," said Gabrielle, again.

"Yes it was! I've done it before, haven't I?" Xena's voice was dripping with sarcasm. She then whispered, "I hurt you. I hurt Iolaus. I killed innocent people."

"If there had been a speck of you in that body you wouldn't have done those things." Xena tried to move away but Gabrielle reached for her arm, suppressing a moan as she did.

"Xe please don't move any more." Xena looked at her blankly but stopped moving and held still. Gabrielle held her tighter, ignoring the pain in her arms, hand and from her broken ribs.

They looked at each other, blue eyes meeting green and saw their love, their bond, reflected in each other's orbs. Both sets contained fear and apprehension too. Gabrielle smiled weakly and defying the agony shooting through her body held her arms out wide. She felt Xena put her head on her chest and she wrapped her arms around her tightly. Xena cried and cried. They stayed like that for what seemed liked hours. Gabrielle's muscles were twitching with the exertion but she was determined to keep hold of her precious cargo. Eventually Xena pulled away slightly, although she was still cradled in the bard's arms. "Why don't you hate me? I put the pinch on you. I let Lindos-"

"Xena don't." Gabrielle interrupted sharply. She didn't want to talk about what happened during those nights, certainly not now with an emotional warrior princess. Not ever if she could help it. Xena stared at her, blue eyes full of fear and self loathing, but in the emerald eyes she only saw love and concern.

"How can we get through this?" Xena shook her head. The guilt still weighed heavy on her. Seeing Gabrielle's terrible injuries close up and being present as wracked by fever, Gabrielle relived those terrible days had heaped more misery onto the warrior's already enormous burden.

"Like we always do: together." Gabrielle's voice was becoming a whisper as she was tiring. "Xena you had no choice, you were manipulated."

"I didn't have to torture you, to kill innocent people." Xena saw all the images flash through her mind. She had pushed them to one side, told herself it wasn't her fault. Gods she had even more to make up for. The rivers of blood were never ending.

"And what did everyone else do, Xena?" The bard's voice was angry. "What makes you so special that you should be able to control your actions whilst everyone else can't?" Xena looked away unwilling to acknowledge the bard was right. "What did Pony and the others do? Say no I can fight this darkness. Or everyone who has ever drunk from the challis? Did they say I won't fight my kin even though I feel I should? Of course not. None of you had any choice in the matter. Accept that Xena. YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE." Gabrielle poked Xena's chest after each word to highlight it. "It's not like after M'lila," she said gently.

Xena put her head down again and sobbed. After several minutes she stuck her head up.

"Xena you know you didn't have a choice. That none of you did. Don't take this guilt." She smiled lovingly. "In your heart you know it isn't your guilt. You are just so used to taking it. This isn't yours." Gabrielle slumped back on the bed breathing as deeply as she could, tired out by her long passionate speech.

"Love you," Xena said with a slight smile.

The bard smiled back and Xena could see how uncomfortable she was and desperately trying not to show how much pain she was in. "I don't deserve you," the warrior said.

"But you're stuck with me. You promised, remember. Even in death…"

"I'd never leave you. Xena laced her fingers through Gabrielle's. "You sure you want to stay with me." Her tone was wistful, the vulnerability showing through. "After all this, what I've done."

"Did you blame me when I became a bacchae?"

"That was different."

"How?"

Xena opened her mouth and shut it again. The clever bard had won that little argument too.

"Xena I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself. It wasn't you. You didn't choose to get infected, and once you were you had nothing to fight it with."

"But my darkness-"

"Hercules said it didn't matter how much darkness you had, the effects was just the same."

"No, it's not that." Xena looked down at the two hands still held together tightly. "I worry about my darkness I carry with me all the time. I've hurt you before." There was a pause as they both remembered the events that had almost torn them apart.

"But the circumstances were extraordinary, Xena." Gabrielle said shakily

Xena looked up into Gabrielle's concerned face and looked away. "I know but sometimes I feel like I can't escape from Ares." She whispered earnestly, one of biggest fears exposed

"Xena, he had to strip everything away and leave only darkness to get you back. He had the shell of the woman we love, that I love." Gabrielle squeezed Xena's hand and the warrior turned to look at her. "I feel sorry for him. He thinks he had you, but the reality is it was just an empty vessel he had and not the real Xena of Amphibolis."

Xena's mouth quivered, but she was determined not to cry again. Gods she had shed more tears in these last few months than in the previous ten years. She knew she would always feel guilty for what had happened, but Gabrielle's forgiveness meant so much. It was a beginning.

There was a comfortable silence

"Tell me how are you feeling with everything that has happened?"Xena asked softly.

Gabrielle smiled weakly at her. How could she tell her what she felt? Dirty, used, alone, terrified of everything and everyone. She believed what she told Xena, she was not to blame, but as she shut her eyes she could see Xena, Epinon and the others torturing her. She could feel unsolicited hands over her. She blocked out the painful thoughts and opened her eyes and swallowed.

"Just weary," she answered. That was true, although not the whole truth.

Xena gently stoked her hair. "You know what I mean," she said with a half smile. "Tell me."

Gabrielle looked into the blue eyes that no longer radiated fear, but love and concern. Oh Gods, she couldn't talk about it, not yet. She had to think of something, anything to keep Xena happy. She mentally laughed. Were these the thoughts Xena had when dealing with her incessant questions? She inhaled as deeply as her painful ribs would allow and shut her eyes. Her emotional pain would wait. She didn't want to analyse what happened and certainly she couldn't lay it on Xena. The warrior's emotional state was so fragile at the moment; Gabrielle feared it would send her spiralling into the despair that Gabrielle had just worked so hard to keep her out. Think Bard, think. Spin a story. She smiled imperceptibly.

"Argo saved my life." Xena looked quizzically at her. "She butted Lind-that man so I could escape." Xena squeezed her hand gently in encouragement. "I was so pleased to see her." They shared a smile. "She was so placid, trotted at a gentle pace, I even passed out on the way to Renwa but she took me safely to Joxer, Hercules and Iolaus."

Xena's eyes radiated concern. "Go on," she said quietly.

"She didn't play me up at all. She knew I was struggling."

"When you headed from Renwa, you mean?" Xena's stomach dropped. What the bard had gone through because of her.

"Yep, she understood she had to be good. Of course having a good looking stallion coming with us helped. And Iolaus' horse of course."  
"Ha, ha. Very funny," They both gave a little smile. Gabrielle shut her eyes, tiredness beginning to overtake her, but she had to, no wanted to get this little bit out.

"She was such a comfort Xena. She never wandered far from me. She missed you dreadfully. We both did."

Gabrielle turned and smiled weakly at Xena who was looking thoughtful.

"I'm sorry," said Xena simply.

Gabrielle nodded and tried to position herself as comfortably as she could.

"Sleep now," Xena said.

"What about you?" slurred Gabrielle, tiredness overtaking her. She patted the bed gently.

"I don't want to hurt you," replied Xena, but she looked hungrily at the bed. Gabrielle nodded and Xena edged into the bed. She stroked Gabrielle's cheek but by the time she rolled over to say goodnight the bard was snoring gently. Xena settled down and within minutes she fell into the best sleep she had in days.


	12. Chapter 12

**Violence Disclaimer:** There is little violence in this chapter but extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in chapter 7. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

**Angst Disclaimer: **It's rising!

**Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!**

Soon enough it was dawn and Piri and Ephiny entered the hut. The previous days had been fraught with Gabrielle's fever testing their patience. They could see immediately that some of the tension was lifted. Xena was bustling about looking slightly more cheery and although Gabrielle was asleep it was a natural sleep and there was no longer heat radiating from her.

Ephiny went straight to Gabrielle and bent over her. She gently caressed her cheek. She exchanged a glance with Xena and then broke into a huge smile as the green eyes were suddenly visible. "Gab," said Ephiny in a chocked voice. Gabrielle smiled at her friend and instinctively looked around for Xena. "She's next to me don't worry. She won't move from here."

"Tattle tail," said Xena with humour in her voice. She too wore a smile for Gabrielle. She picked up a water skin and gave it to Ephiny. She again supported Gabrielle and Ephiny helped her drink. Xena gently laid her back down and Gabrielle smiled at them both.

"Thanks," she said. Her voice was stronger than last night Xena noted happily. "This is not the welcome home I wanted to be giving you," said Ephiny.

"You'll still figure a way of having a party," said Gabrielle laughing.

"Oh, don't worry about that. We could carry you where ever you needed to go. Just like Cleopatra."

The friends locked eyes. "Thanks," said Gabrielle.

"Like I said, I'm not going to counteract a command from the queen. Just get well soon. Then we can have that party." Ephiny picked up Gabrielle's hand and held it. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was used as Amazon drums at a party," said Gabrielle with a moan.

At this both Piri and Xena glanced anxiously at her.

"Care to elaborate my Queen?" asked Piri.

"I think that sums it up quite succinctly. No drums at the next party, I'm coming out in sympathy with them." Gabrielle closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing and missed the furious looks the three other women were giving each other. Ephiny was shaking her head in the direction of the door and Xena was shaking her head vigorously. Piri looked on with annoyance and then pointed at Gabrielle.

"My Queen, later we need to examine your hand." At this Gabrielle's eyes snapped open and Ephiny and Xena stared at the healer.

"What's wrong Piri?" Asked Gabrielle. "Didn't you have a chance to examine it earlier?"

The healer looked worried. "We needed you to be conscious to assess how much damage was done, and the swelling was too great."

Gabrielle nodded. She turned to Xena. "Will you be here?"

"Of course, I won't leave you," spluttered Xena in surprise.

"Go and take Argo for a run, now then. Do some drills, I know you want to."

Xena shook her head.

"You want to," said Gabrielle simply. They looked at each other. Xena felt torn. She didn't want to leave Gabrielle but the thought of galloping off with Argo leaving these four walls for a short time was so inviting. She nodded.

"I won't be long." Said Xena and she bent down and kissed the bard.

She walked slowly turning at every pace to gaze at the bard until she finally exited the hut.

"Xena wait." Xena had only descended one step before she heard Ephiny's voice. "I'll walk you to the stables," said the regent. There was a silence for a few moments as Ephiny composed herself.

"I'm sorry Xena, but Council will want to talk to you." Ephiny's tone was low and she looked around furtively as if concerned at being overheard.

Xena said nothing, her eyes riveted to the ground.

"The charges are serious; attacking the queen, and with your history…" Ephiny's voice trailed off.

"Will Gabrielle be involved?" asked Xena and her eyes rose to meet Ephiny's.

"Not if I can help it. Piri can give medical evidence, there were other people there."

"What could happen?"

"This is just information gathering, you are not on trial."

"Yeah, right," said Xena viciously. "I'll take whatever punishment that is set, but my first concern is Gabrielle."

"And so is mine," whispered Ephiny harshly. "Think about it Xena. Gabrielle's critically injured after a brave and fearless act. No one can say she is too weak to be an Amazon Queen now. Her enemies need a vulnerability-you. Persuade council to put you on trial for all your atrocities against the Amazons, divide the tribe."

Xena paled. Her atrocities. If only they knew everything she had inflicted on the Amazon nation. She mentally shook herself and focused in on what Ephiny was saying.

"-with Hercules and Pony giving evidence for you, there shouldn't be a problem. We've got enough on our side on Council. It's just-"

"The stink it creates," added Xena. She looked back at the hut. "When?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"I don't want Gabrielle involved. She's been too sick."

"Absolutely.

"Thank you Ephiny."

"Enjoy your ride. You know that you'll have a shadow."

"If they can keep up!" Xena gave a toothy grin.

After being cooped up for so long riding Argo was exhilarating. She let the horse have her head and she enjoyed the sensation of being taken along for the ride. The wind swept through her hair, and she breathed the forest scents in deeply. She was conscious of two amazons straining to keep up, and she grinned and decided to take pity on them. She stopped at a small clearing and removed the saddle from Argo. After having a long drink from the waterskin she picked up her sword and started to slowly move it from side to side. It gradually got quicker until it became an intricate dance of metal. After several minutes she stopped abruptly.

"You can come out now, I hear ya," she shouted. An arrow appeared from the trees which Xena lazily caught and snapped with her right hand.

Four Amazons dropped from the trees.

"Welcome ladies," said Xena as she started to drill slowly again, never taking her eyes off of the four.

"Xena ," said one.

"Why am I not surprised that it's you Aida?"

"One of your many skills?" asked the red headed Amazon and motioned with her head. Immediately the other three surrounded Xena.

Xena smiled. These were odds she liked. And the mood she was in this would be a pleasure.

She engaged the first, a small Amazon whose name she didn't know. After a couple of parries Xena became bored and reversed her sword and rammed the hilt into her face. She fell to her knees clutching her nose that was now streaming with blood. This enraged the other three and they rushed her at once. Aida who fought with chobos attacked from the front, but before she could get close enough to make contact, Xena launched herself at her and connected solidly with her boot in her stomach. Xena used this momentum to launch upwards over the top of the amazons who were creeping behind her. Before they could react Xena had swept the feet of Charope and elbowed the fourth in the stomach.

"Well girls ready for some more?" asked Xena grinning as all four tried to get their breath back. "Try harder next time!" She felt invigorated and alive. She was happy for more.

Her words had enraged Aida, and she quickly drew her bow and fired an arrow at Xena. Xena caught it a foot from her chest and threw it on the floor. Aida was about to draw a second when they all heard a shout.

"DROP!"

Two horses came into view, and Aella and Walia dismounted. Aella looked in disgust at the four injured Amazons.

"Thank you ladies, for giving me a moderate workout," drawled Xena looking at her nails. "Next time I would prefer something more" she looked directly at Aida who snarled, "vigorous".

"Back. Now." Said Aella and shook her head at Walia. The younger Amazon ensured they had retrieved their belongings and started to walk away from the clearing.

Aella turned to look at the warrior princess. As usual she was immaculate as if she had been for a country stroll. She felt foolish for asking but knew she must. "Are you ok?"

Xena seemed to sense her hesitance. "Fine thanks. I must commend Ephiny for laying on these pleasant diversions."

Aella's mouth quivered but she didn't laugh. They both mounted and headed back to the village.

"You are looking so well." Xena smiled as she gazed at Iolaus. She had stopped off in his hut after giving Argo a good rub down and brush. She knew that Gabrielle would ask after him.

"Thank you," said the blonde. His face was a multicoloured mass of bruising, but Xena could see the swelling had reduced and his colour where visible, had returned to normal. He was sitting up in bed smiling broadly.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Just pull up a chair and tell me about Gabrielle. The fever is down I hear? She woke up."

Xena nodded. "Yes, finally. We're going to look at her hand today."

Iolaus swallowed and looked away thoughtfully. There was a pause before he said, "I'm sorry. It's bad isn't it?"

Xena was aware of the door opening but she kept her eyes fixed on Iolaus. She nodded.

"Watching a friend suffer, hearing her suffer," Iolaus' voice broke. "It was tartarus." He flicked her eyes over Xena's shoulder and gave a small smile. "I've been injured enough times before helping out the big man, so that didn't matter. But knowing what they did to her, what he did to her-"Iolaus shut his eyes and was unable to continue.

Hercules walked forward and put his hand on Xena's shoulder. "Good to see you out."

Xena smiled weakly. There was silence. Hercules and Iolaus exchanged a glance.

"Xena, Ephiny has asked us to go before council." Hercules looked uncomfortable.

"Even you?" she asked Iolaus.

"I offered. Piri said I could get up today. I want them to know what happened, that you weren't in control of your actions, that I don't blame you. I know Ephiny doesn't want Gabrielle to go through it. I want them to know exactly whose fault it was."

"Solari has sent scouts out to find Lindos and Claudine," said Xena quietly. "We've not told Gabrielle yet."

The men nodded. Hercules walked over to a table that heaving under a mass of wineskins, fruit and weapons.

He handed them both a drink. "Presents from Iolaus' many admirers." He grinned. "I'm wondering how long Iolaus can eke this out. Being pampered by a tribe of women is his Elysian Fields."

Xena smiled weakly. She felt a twinge of envy. Iolaus looked so well; and now there was talk of him getting out of bed. He appeared contented and revelling in the affection and interest of many Amazon visitors. He was talking about his ordeal. Gabrielle's recovery appeared to be proceeding along at snail's pace by comparison.

Hercules seemed to sense her change of mood but mistook the reason behind it. "The council, the hearing. You'll be fine. The challis has a long history. "

Xena gazed at her drink. "I'm not worried for me. It's Gabrielle."

"They are her amazons. You can see it with every action they take. They'll support you. They know they'll face her if they don't!"

"You're right. Now I better get back to her." She downed her drink. "Good to see you guys." She got up and headed out the door. Hercules and Iolaus exchanged a concerned look.

Epinon stood inside the Queen's hut staring at the floor. She watched as Piri bustled around tidying the equipment. Sensing the weapon's master discomfort she made her excuses and left the hut. Epinon continued to stand by the door looking pensive. Her tension was palpable.

Gabrielle smiled weakly. "Pony I'm sorry I don't think I'll be coming to you. Why don't you come here?"

Epinon looked up briefly and then dropped her head and walked slowly to the chair by the bed. She eased herself in it and appeared to be taking her time to compose herself. Gabrielle watched, not wanting to interrupt, knowing that some people, warriors especially, needed to talk in their own time.

"I'm so sorry, my queen. I can't express my disappointment and disgust in myself adequately." Her voice was so quiet Gabrielle strained to hear. "Whatever punishment you or council see fit won't be enough."

"Pony." The dark head remained bowed so Gabrielle tried again. "Pony, there is nothing to apologise for because there is nothing to forgive."

"How can you say that, when you are lying in bed, injured because of what I did?" Pony spoke with fervour and raised her head and caught Gabrielle's eye. She saw no hatred in it, only concern.

"I've said it to Xena and will say it to you and the other Amazons. You weren't in control. This is not your fault."

Epinon rubbed her hand through her hair.

"But it's not about me is it?"

Epinon looked up sharply and slumped, tears springing in her eyes. She took several deep breaths and faced Gabrielle.

The bard smiled. "No one will know through me. And Xena hasn't mentioned it," she added in answer to Epinon's questioning eyes.

"Thank you, my queen."

"Enough of that nonsense. Please put it behind you Pony."

"I will if you will." Gabrielle gave her a forced smile and Epinon felt a prickle of unease that she couldn't put her finger on.

"Can I get you anything? I really am sorry."

"I'm fine thank you. How's Sol?"

"Supportive as usual." Epinon's face lit up with affection as she spoke about her beloved.

"Just keep it that way." Gabrielle closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them. "Pony can you do something for me?"

"Anything. Name it."

"Tell me Epinon," said Gabrielle quietly, and the weapons master had a sudden feeling of being completely trapped and powerless.

All four people within the hut felt the tension even before Piri unwrapped the bandage. Clonie stood by Piri as the healer gently took the bandage off. Xena was on Gabrielle's left side and rubbed her hand on her arm. The bard smiled in gratitude. Gabrielle shut her eyes and beads of sweat formed on her forehead as Piri got closer to removing the entire bandage. Xena inhaled sharply when she saw the injured hand and said, "Bri, we need to see if there is any nerve damage. I'm going to gently press on places. That's why we couldn't give you any pain medicine."

Gabrielle kept her eyes shut and nodded. She stifled a moan as Xena started pressing down but a couple of screams came out despite putting her right hand over her mouth. Xena looked up at the pale sweaty face and exchanged a concerned glance with Piri. The healer smiled and said, "You seem to have most of the feeling in it. The swelling has gone down; we need to put the bones back. It's looking a lot better."

Clonie looked at the smashed hand and imagined what it must have looked like a few days ago. She could feel bile rising in her throat, and it took all her training to remain motionless. It must be absolute agony for the bard.

"Pressure points?" Gabrielle gasped.

"Yes, but the pain afterwards…" Xena trailed off.

"Do it," said the bard through gritted teeth.

Xena quickly tapped her fingers in the crook of Gabrielle's elbow. She then held her hand straight and Piri pushed down a couple of times until she heard several cracks. She did the same for Gabrielle's wrist. They quickly re-bandaged the hand, and Piri went to get some pain mixture. By this time all four women looked very shocked and weary.

"What happened to it?" said Clonie, and then looked embarrassed at asking such a question.

"Claudine took the hammer to it," said Gabrielle through gritted teeth.

Xena shut her eyes. Gabrielle spoke so casually as if it had been an every day occurrence. She felt another wave of guilt hit her.

"The good news is it looks better than I thought it would. It'll be very painful for a while, stiff for several months, but you'll get most of your movement back."

"Most?" chorused Xena and Gabrielle.

"Who knows, maybe all," said the healer, although privately she doubted that. Thank the gods it was her left hand and not the right. "Ready?"

Gabrielle nodded. Clonie held her arm tightly and Xena stabbed her fingers in again. This time Gabrielle couldn't stifle her scream and it was long and loud. Xena wrapped her arms around her and held her tight rubbing her back and whispering soothing words. When the bard had stopped sobbing Xena gave her the medicine that Piri had mixed. The older healer wordlessly put her hand on her shoulder in support and the two amazons left.

After several minutes, when she sensed the rhythm of the bard's breathing had changed, Xena released her hold on her. Xena's eyes too were wet with tears. There was silence with only Gabrielle's deep and noisy breathing breaking it.

"I didn't know Claudine did it," said Xena quietly.

Gabrielle shrugged but said nothing.

"Her and Lindos, they have so much to answer for," carried on Xena continuing to stare at Gabrielle. "They've caused you so much pain."

Gabrielle continued to say nothing. Those feelings of being used and feeling worthless bubbled to the surface but she pushed them back again. She didn't want to think about them or discuss them.

Xena continued to stare aware of what the bard was doing. After all she spent years ignoring her emotions, burying them deep so she wouldn't have to face up to her self loathing and guilt. She couldn't let that happen to her bard.

She tried a different approach. "If you are up to it, you might want to jot things down. I've got some of your scrolls and a quill." Xena walked over to the table and brought them back and laid them on the bed. She then picked up Gabrielle's right hand. Gabrielle looked at them for a while but made no move towards them.

"I'm a bit tired Xena, but thanks." Gabrielle tried to move down the bed and Xena helped her. Instead of closing her eyes she merely stared upwards. Xena said nothing but continued to hold her hand.


	13. Chapter 13

**Violence Disclaimer:** There are extensive descriptions of the aftermath of the violence contained in chapter 7. Please do not read if you feel that would distress you.

**Angst Disclaimer: **It's rising!

**Author's postscript:** Dear reader I ask for acceptance of an indulgence. There is the appearance of a court situation. I have watched far too much "Perry Mason". I hope it didn't affect your enjoyment of this chapter.

Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Ephiny looked around the crowded council chamber. She had wanted to keep the numbers to the minimum, but somehow several amazons had good reasons why they should be present. Her eyes caught Aella's and saw the same concern in them; this was turning into a circus out of their control.

The council was made up of seven amazons. As Queen, Gabrielle had a seat and as her regent so did Ephiny. When Gabrielle was absent Solari stepped into Ephiny's place as regent, with Ephiny taking the Queen's role. The other five members were made up of warriors. They tended to discuss punishments and treaties, although it was the Queen's word that was final.

After Valasca's attempted coup, the tribe was split. It took all Gabrielle and Ephiny's collective diplomacy to keep the tribe united. There was mistrust and bitterness between all factions. A handful were reluctantly banished by Gabrielle after Ephiny persuaded her that they were a de-stabilising influence and would try to unsettle the tribe and even challenge the mask in Valasca's name. However several Valasca supporters stayed, swore fealty to Gabrielle but remained unhappy at the direction the Amazons were going; greater links with the centaurs, more ties with the outside world, including men. Gabrielle and Ephiny especially had to work hard to ensure they remained together.

Aella brought down a hammer onto the table. "Hush please." She looked around the crowded room. "We are here to _discuss_ the recent events concerning our queen. THIS IS NOT A TRIAL!" She paused to let her words sink in and glared around the courtroom. Ephiny smirked; Aella was a wolf in sheep's clothing; all those who thought she was a pushover were sorely mistaken. She saw that Xena remained passive. She was flanked by Epinon and Delia.

"I will ask different people to come forward and speak. The seven members of the council can interrupt, but only they can ask a question."

Aella sat down and before she could speak again Teles spoke up. "Thank you Aella. I know I am looking forward with interest in finding out what happened to our beloved Queen. Our Queen that is so badly injured that she is unable to be here today. Let us remember that." She bowed her head briefly and Aella mouthed sorry to Ephiny who looked furious with how proceedings had begun. Teles was one of Valasca's most fervent supporters and surprised many by choosing to swear fealty to the crown. She had never put a foot out of place yet Ephiny couldn't trust her, especially as she gained a voice on the council. She was a fine orator, and would ensure that the trial would go in the influence of her choosing. In this case to condemn Xena.

"And Iolaus. I am sure you are in considerable pain, we thank you for attending."

Teles looked around the whole chamber. She wanted things to hold sway for a while longer. "Aella, I realise that there are many witnesses that we will hear evidence from but do you think maybe Xena should be first? She has the greatest insight to what happened, and of course I am sure she wants to return to caring for the queen." Her voice may have sounded sincere and she looked naive but it fooled no one.

Aella looked furious. She realised what Teles was doing. Mentioning the Queen meant that if Aella had objected she would appear to be the unsympathetic one. That was why the majority of people had attended; to hear Xena speak. Everyone's testimony then would be of little interest. As Ephiny had said previously it was not that Xena was likely to go to trial; but the fallout caused by it for the tribe as a whole.

Xena had risen before any complaints could be made. She had her mask firmly fixed on place and stared at Teles who, to her credit did not back down from a powerful blue eyed stare.

"Xena," said Teles.

"Yes," replied the warrior Princess.

"Why is Queen Gabrielle not attending this hearing?"

"Because of injuries she has sustained, she is confined to her bed. She has just recovered from a life threatening fever." At that there were gasps. It was not widely known that Gabrielle had been so ill.

"How did she come about these horrific injuries?"

Xena closed her eyes. "Iolaus and her broke into a camp to destroy the challis of Hectate. They were discovered and taken prisoners and tortured for any information they may have had."

"And you were in that camp?"

"Yes."

"You helped to recover the challis?" Teles asked innocently.

Xena bowed her head, "No."

"Why were you in that camp, Xena?" asked Teles neutrally. She knew she couldn't be too gleeful in her questioning.

"I drank from the challis of Hectate. I became controlled by darkness and joined an army formed by the people who had the challis in their possession."

"Did you see our queen in the camp?"

"Yes," Xena's voice betrayed none of her anguish.

"Did you speak to her? Did you touch her?" Teles moved around the chamber ensuring she had everyone's attention.

"Yes."

"We know that Xena was there, Teles," said Ephiny desperate to deflect the line of questioning.

Teles turned to face the regent and gave her a cold smile. "I was merely establishing whether Xena had any contact with our queen." She turned back to face Xena who stared back at her.

"You touched her by your own admission. Did you hurt her?"

Everyone within the room held their breath. The silence was deafening until Xena broke it. "Yes," she said.

"Did you torture her?" Teles faced the wall so no one could see the smirk on her face. She was finally reeling the warrior princess in.

"Yes," Xena's whisper was full of anguish.

"I am sorry Xena can you repeat that?" Teles said.

"I was at that camp. I tortured Gabrielle and Iolaus." This time the voice was loud and steady. There were gasps and murmurings within the court.

"I don't think we need to go in to specific details at present, although we will return to it." Teles smiled frostily at Xena. "Xena you have previously tried to kill Gabrielle haven't you."

Ephiny stood up, "This is not relevant."  
"Forgive me Regent but I think it is. Xena had previously tried to murder Gabrielle in front of many of us sitting here today. Something she has never denied and yet never been punished for." Teles gave a little shrug. "Did you at any time try to kill Gabrielle? Not just injure her, but kill her?" Teles looked around the hushed chamber and finally at Xena who was staring into space. She turned to meet Tales' look.

"Yes I put the pinch on her."

"Why is she not dead? Does Gabrielle know how to remove the pinch?"

"No she doesn't." Xena swallowed. "Lindos, one of the couple who originally threatened us, and used the challis to bring out my-"Xena stumbled over the word, "darkness liked her and asked me to take the pinch off."

"He liked her. Did he want her to be part of the army of darkness?" Teles looked innocently at Xena.

"No, he just, he wanted her," said Xena with great difficulty. Any thought of Lindos and Gabrielle brought her so much pain and anguish as well as guilt.

Teles put her hands to her mouth in a great dramatic display. "Oh I am sorry. I didn't want to bring up thoughts of an attack of that nature. I merely wanted to establish whether Xena attempted to kill the Queen. Again. I have established that she did, but instead of stopping it herself she was persuaded by a man who was after, er, the queen's virtue."

There was much talking amongst everyone. Ephiny slumped in her chair and put her hand to her eyes. Teles knew what she was doing. She watched Teles smirk as she saw the discussions and the looks of horror and disgust thrown at Xena.

Epinon stood and shouted. "SHE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTED TO HAVE HER KILLED."

There was silence. Epinon spoke quickly before Teles could open her mouth. "When we caught Iolaus and Gabrielle, Xena and Claudine wanted to torture information out of them." She looked at Xena. "I suggested just killing them there and then." She glanced at Solari who gave her a supportive look in response. "But Xena wanted to keep them alive. I even went to them early morning, ready to slit their throats but Xena stopped me before I could." Epinon stood up straight as an arrow. "I would have killed them had it not been for her. I took part in torture, I broke Gabrielle's ribs, I whipped her, and I punched her with my bare hands." She lowered her head so her tears were not visible.

"So did I," said Amarice, standing up. "Queen Gabrielle gave me an order to stop hitting Iolaus, but I ignored her."

"I hit Iolaus with my bare hands." Selene turned to the blonde man with tears in her eyes. "I am so sorry."

"ENOUGH OF THIS" shouted Teles, her voice laced with frustration. This was not how it was supposed to be going.

"It is Xena who I was questioning." She waited for silence. "She has to face up to the fact she has several times tried to murder our queen."

"And yet I am still here," came a voice from the door.

Every head in the chamber turned to see Gabrielle standing shakily in the doorway, leaning heavily on a walking stick. No one knew how long she had been standing there.

Everyone rose as one in silence. Gabrielle stood motionless, until Piri walked up to her with a furious look on her face. She took a chair and Gabrielle eased herself onto it without a change in her expression. She looked around the chamber and her expression softened as she saw the furious looks on Ephiny and Xena's faces.

"Sit down please."

Everyone did but there was silence. No one was quite sure what to do next, but it was Teles who recovered her wits quickest.

"My Queen, it is good to see you up. I trust you are feeling better."

"Teles, thank you for your deep concern into my health. I would prefer to be recuperating in my hut, but it would appear my healer, regent, chief scout, weapons master and consort were all otherwise engaged." She caught Xena's slight smile. "I thought I would see where the party was."

There was a low murmur of laughter.

"We did not want to interrupt your recuperation. We wanted to spare you the torment of attending and listening to such unpleasantries."

Gabrielle stared at Teles and her voice suddenly took on a steely tone. This was the queen of the Amazons who spoke and everyone realised it. "I lived those torments as did Iolaus, Xena, Selene, Amarice and Karys. None of us will ever forget what happened. I have said already to Epinon and Xena and will say to the other three. There is nothing to forgive. They had no choice in what happened. The Gods themselves knew about the power of the challis. There will be no trial. There will be no disciplinary. We do not need to continue with this information gathering event, or whatever you have called it. We have all suffered enough. Re-visiting it will not help anyone."

Gabrielle's words were powerfully delivered and had an effect on everyone in the room. Teles looked around frantically. All the advantage she had built up was slipping away. She sought at least to be gracious. Anything else would appear insolent. "My Queen, your bravery has astounded us all. If this is your wish to put it behind you so be it."

Ephiny stood up and said, "Your bravery doesn't quite astound all of us, my queen, but I second the motion. Epinon, Karys, Selene, Amarice and Xena," she emphasised the last name, "are free of any blame. This is not to be used or brought up again if they ever come for disciplinary or promotion. That is all." She glanced at Teles who wore a forced smile, and was obviously furious by how events had unfolded. She knew that Teles and her followers would not forget this, and would view today as a bitter defeat. They may have got some cheap shots on Xena early on, but Gabrielle had proved to be the star turn.

She watched as Gabrielle rose unsteadily from her chair. The whole room rose, still stunned by their Queen's impassioned speech. The amazons made their way out, many taking time to quickly exchange words with Gabrielle who smiled and thanked everyone for their concern. Epinon and Gabrielle shared a meaningful glance that ended when Gabrielle winked at the weapons master. After several minutes had passed the only people left in the chamber were Gabrielle, Xena, Ephiny and Piri. Xena strode forward and wrapped her arms around the bard and gently picked her up. "I don't care what you say; you're going back first class." She kissed Gabrielle's forehead.

"You never cease to amaze me, Gab," said Ephiny, taking Gabrielle's hand. "And for that I am grateful. I'll be in to see you later." She smiled and left.

"Ok hit me with it you two," said Gabrielle and swallowed. "I know you want to."

Piri walked up to the pair of them and looked at Gabrielle with a neutral expression. "I have never been more annoyed at a patient, or more proud of a friend." Her face broke into a broad smile. "I'll leave you in the very capable hands of the warrior." She raised her eyebrows at Gabrielle and left.

Gabrielle craned her head to look into the face of the warrior. It was impassive. "Hut. Now," was all she said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Violence Disclaimer:** None in this chapter!

Feedback would be gratefully received. Thank you!

Gabrielle was carried back to the hut in silence. Although whether she would have heard anything above the shots of joy and applause she received every step of the way was debateable. Xena gently placed her into bed and turned to get pain medicine. She had felt the tenseness of the bard's body and wanted to give her a dose quickly. It also gave her a few extra seconds to think, and sort out her thoughts.

"Xe, please. Talk to me," said the Bard.

Xena walked to the bed and handed Gabrielle the mug. She downed the drink in one and made a face. Xena took the mug and walked back to the table.

"Xena, please, yell at me, tell me how wrong I was, anything." Gabrielle's voice broke and she started to sob. In a flash Xena was perched on the bed with Gabrielle in her arms. "I want to tell you what a risk you took. How annoyed I am that you obviously went behind my back to arrange this? That all we wanted to do was to protect you and you could have ruined it. But all I can think of is how brave and courageous you are, and that I am so lucky to share my life with you." At this Gabrielle gave a hic-cough and a sob and Xena carried on rubbing circles on her back. "Before you, I trusted no one. I'd been hurt or betrayed too often. And you came in my life and I felt trust and love of life again." Xena pulled back slightly and looked Gabrielle in the eye. "Yes we lost that for a short while, but there is no one I trust more than you." The hut was quiet apart from Gabrielle's sniffs.

"Me too Xena, me too." She said quietly.

Xena cupped Gabrielle's face, "Then trust me. Open up to me."

Gabrielle put her head on Xena's shoulder. "It's so hard." She started to sob more violently.

"I know, I know." Gabrielle continued to cry for several minutes and Xena said nothing apart from soothing "shh".

"I always thought our bond would transcend everything. It survived when you died," Gabrielle looked at Xena and smiled through her tears. Xena squeezed her hand gently. "I know wasn't your fault Xena, but-"

"Why couldn't I remember you? Why couldn't I remember us? You meant nothing to me?" Xena bowed her head. "I'm so sorry."

"No I am. I blamed you for not remembering me. That wasn't your fault." Gabrielle swallowed and looked away. "I'm scared Xena. I don't want to feel like this any more."

"What way, Bri?"

"That I'll never feel normal again. That I'll never be able to put it behind me."

"Time's a great healer. And you're the one that says talking helps. Take your own advice, Bard."

"I know," she said wistfully.

Xena smiled. It was a good day. The Valasca faction was shown up. Gabrielle's stock as Queen had risen and she had started to open up. For the first time Xena could sense light at the end of a long difficult tunnel.

Xena finished her drilling and took a long drink from her water skin. She watched the village break into life. She enjoyed her morning exercise early, so she was not bothered by too many amazons eager to take her on. Some, well they obviously hadn't learnt from Aida and Charope, and decided their own bit of retribution. Xena never minded, to her it was a slightly more vigorous workout; the hardest part was ensuring she did not injure them too badly.

She jumped up and headed to the bathing hut and emerged carrying a large tub. She was going to suggest a bath to the bard. Gabrielle was recovering slowly, slower than Xena would have liked. She was able to sit up for longer periods and Xena was hoping that today she could go for a short walk. Her ribs were virtually healed and her hand was improving although still very painful. One particular concern was that her voracious appetite had not returned.

Xena carried the tub and put it down with as little noise as possible. Good, she thought, the bard was still asleep. She went in and out of the hut with buckets gradually filling the tub and ensuring the water pot on the fire was full. She kept adding the hot water to the tub and refilling the pot. It was tedious tiring task and when she finished she slumped down on a chair and was greeted by a wide smile from the now awake bard.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked as she moved to the bed. She knelt on the floor and brushed her hand through Gabrielle's golden hair. "Long enough to see you work up a sweat," said the bard laughing. "I truly hope that's for you," she sniffed deeply just for effect.

"Ha ha. You could have helped me, given me some encouragement," Xena said lightly.

"Nah, it was worth it just to see you try and curse quietly." Xena's eyebrow rose up. Gods she loved this banter. It was beginning to come back slowly, part of the healing process.

"How do you feel about having a bath, Bri?" Xena was hesitant but hopeful. Gabrielle loved a bath.

Gabrielle nodded her head warily. Xena quickly added," I don't have to be here, if you'd prefer someone else, or I can wait outside."  
"No," said Gabrielle, firmly. "I mean I'd like you here please." She tilted her head towards Xena to emphasise the point. Xena smiled. She watched as Gabrielle moved up the bed and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She helped her take her shift off and unwrap the bandages. When they had all been removed she took Gabrielle's right arm and they slowly walked to the bath. She picked her up and gently lowered the bard into the warm water, and Gabrielle winced as the water touched her wounds.

The bard closed her eyes and spread her arms out in the water. "This is bliss," she said, and breathed the scented herbs in deeply. When she opened them she saw a smiling Xena sitting on the floor next to the tub, looking at her, holding a sponge. She smiled and took the sponge and started to wash herself. It was the first bath she had since being captured and she washed her self thoroughly, enjoying the feeling of being clean. Xena had been very attentive in washing her, but this was bliss.

Xena's tentative voice broke into her thoughts, "I can do your back and hair if you'd like?" Gabrielle gave her the sponge and was rewarded with a smile. She knew that Xena was desperate to do anything she could for her, as well as try to re-establish the close bond that had been damaged. Sometimes Gabrielle felt oppressed by Xena's actions or slipped into an introspective mood that couldn't be breeched. She knew it hurt Xena, but she couldn't control her mood swings. So when she was feeling content Xena would be as attentive as possible.

"That's lovely," she said. "It doesn't hurt much now."

Xena smiled weakly, "They'll be some scarring." She paused and said in a brighter tone, "I was thinking that we could leave the bandages off. Sounds good?"

Gabrielle nodded. There was a long silence. Gabrielle watched as her right hand made patterns in the water. She looked at Xena and then back at her hand.

"Xena, do you think I'll ever feel clean again?" Gabrielle's voice became a hoarse whisper, "I feel his hands touching me." The six words were whispered so quietly that Xena just heard them. She said nothing but let Gabrielle carry on shakily. "I close my eyes and I see him leering at me. I feel used, unclean," she looked at Xena and then bowed her head, "unworthy."

"Gods, Gabrielle, don't ever feel that. I love you." Xena immediately dropped the sponge and held her while the tears came. Another part of the wall Gabrielle had erected around herself was crumbling, she thought.

She gently lifted Gabrielle's face so it faced hers. "And this changes nothing about how I feel about you. In fact I love you even more." She held on until Gabrielle pulled away slightly. The bard gave a smile and said, "Hair please."

"Yes your highness," said Xena and she washed Gabrielle's hair gently paying attention to the scalp giving it a gentle massage.

"S'wonderful," murmured Gabrielle. Xena playfully splashed her.

"Don't fall asleep on me; I want to re-dress your hand. Then it's breakfast and after that I thought we'd take a walk to see Iolaus, Hercules and Joxer before they go the centaur village, then to the stables to see Argo. She's been asking to see you." Xena had moved to the bed and positioned the towels ready for Gabrielle and was now waiting at the side of the bath.

"Argo's been asking for me?" said Gabrielle incredulously. "What worries me is that I'm more surprised that about the me part than the asking!"

Xena laughed. "Every time I go into the stable she looks past me as if she expects to see you." She had lifted Gabrielle to the bed and was helping to towel her dry.

After checking all her wounds, Xena helped Gabrielle put a shift on and then sat behind her on the bed and plaited her hair.

By the time she was finished Gabrielle was breathing deeply with tears in her eyes.

"You've done really well," said Xena, "it's going to take time to gain your fitness back." She saw that Gabrielle was holding her hand gingerly.

"I'll wrap it now," she said tenderly "and then breakfast. What do you fancy? And don't say nothing." She added quickly.

The bard thought for a moment. "Fruit would be good," she said with a smile. "And Xena, thank you."

Xena gave her a huge toothy smile, "my pleasure," she said with conviction.

Iolaus positively beamed when he saw who was standing at his door. "Well look at you on your feet. How does it feel?"

"Tiring," said Gabrielle as Xena guided her over to a chair next to Iolaus. She slumped in it and closed her eyes. "I feel like I've walked to Athens and back, not just across the village."

"It was your first time up, you did better than I thought you would," said Xena defensively handing the bard a drink. She never found out just how or who helped Gabrielle to the council chamber-Gabrielle wouldn't say and certainly no one would admit to it and incur Xena's wrath- but she had established that Gabrielle did not walk there. This had been the bard's longest walk since her injury. Gabrielle smiled in gratitude and downed the apple juice quickly.

"How are you feeling Iolaus?" Gabrielle took his offered hand.

"Bored. I feel so well. It's so frustrating not being able to be up more. Especially with the nice views on offer."

Gabrielle smiled broadly and gently backhanded his stomach. Xena sniggered and left them to chat. She knew where Hercules was and joined him, sitting on the steps outside.

"How's he really doing?" she asked pointedly, knowing the demi God had overheard them.

"Actually not bad. The leg is the major problem. He's eating and drinking well, never had a fever and his wounds have healed nicely. He still has nightmares but I don't think he realises how bad his leg is." Hercules threw a stone he was holding onto the ground.

"He won't be able to fight, you know. Not to the level he did. And travelling will be hard. Believe me, I know" Xena looked at the demi god with compassion. She realised he already knew that.

"I know. But we'll cope. We can both make adjustments, even settle down, maybe." Xena looked surprised.

"Really, I thought you liked your life?"

"I do, but the best part is having Iolaus in it. If settling down is what it takes, that's what we'll do. Trouble can find me for a change!" Hercules turned to look at Xena. "It may not come to that though, Iolaus is…stubborn. If anyone can come back from this it's him."

"You're right" said Xena and gave a long thoughtful look inside the hut.

"You know you can redeem yourself wherever you are. You don't have to travel around for that." Hercules spoke quietly. There was a pause. He too looked inside the hut and whispered, "How is she?"

"Her hand is very painful. It'll pain her for the rest of her days. Everything else is healing well, physically." Xena's voice dropped on the last word.

Hercules gave her an encouraging smile, so Xena continued, eager at last to share her anxiety with someone.

"I know it'll take time, but I feel like we're drifting on the sea. Sometimes she drifts closer like this morning and then the wind will change and we'll be farther apart. I just wish she'd open up more. I just want to help." Her head drooped and Hercules gave her arm a squeeze.

"Come on lets go see them." He jumped up and held his hand out for Xena.

Joxer came running up to them as they entered the hut. His eyes lit up when he saw Gabrielle.

"Hey Gabby, good to see you," he said nervously.

Gabrielle smiled. "Hey Joxer. I keep hearing all the good stuff you've been doing working with Piri. You seem to have your own fan club."

The apprentice healer looked embarrassed and looked down at his feet. "I wouldn't say that. But it has been good working with Piri. She has taught me a lot."

Iolaus guffawed and Gabrielle slapped him quickly on the stomach again, and gave him a stare. She had sensed that Piri and Joxer had become close, but didn't want her friend humiliated. "Iolaus was going to show me his carvings, weren't you?"

"Oh yes Gab. Sure Gab."

"I'll get them," said Hercules. He brought back a large bag and emptied it on the table that Gabrielle and Iolaus were sitting around.

"Wow," said Xena as she walked over to the table and picked up a beautifully carved horse.

"Told you I was bored," said Iolaus with a laugh.

"You did this," said Xena in a surprised tone. "It's fabulous. I never knew you were a carpenter."

"I have many skills," said the short blonde man causing them all to laugh.

Gabrielle had picked up a mug and a plate and was admiring the detail on them.

"Talented, isn't he?" Said Hercules, proudly. "And at least he's been earning our keep. These are all requests."

"I'm surprised the Amazons are letting you leave; how will the village function without you?" said Xena.

They all smiled, but she could see that Gabrielle was looking tired and Iolaus' smile was forced and he appeared to be in pain. "Come on, I think its rest time for side kicks." The two wooden items thrown at her, which she predictably caught, told her how much they appreciated the remark.


	15. Chapter 15

**Violence Disclaimer:** Xena works through her frustrations and some Amazons are on the receiving end!

**Angst Disclaimer: **Oh yes! It's rising!

_Feedback would be gratefully received. _

_Thank you for those who have reviewed! You are wonderful people._

"How was your day?" Xena walked into their hut to see Gabrielle staring out of the window lost in thought. Xena put down her weapons and walked over and crouched next to her. Gabrielle jumped slightly as if surprised.

"The usual," she said quietly and shrugged.

Xena swallowed. Getting Gabrielle to talk was becoming more difficult. Xena's relief that Gabrielle would start to open up regarding her attack was short lived. She had closed herself off from everyone, and had become cold and insular. They had been in the village for over two months and the most visible reminder of Gabrielle's ordeal was a splint on her left arm and hand. She wore a long tunic that covered up the whip marks, although the majority had healed well. All her bruises had faded, and she was able to walk around without a limp.

Their relationship had slowly disintegrated. Xena could have understood it more if there had been a flashpoint, if the bard had got angry or blamed her for the attacks. It was the indifference and apathy that Xena detested. So unlike Gabrielle. She was polite, but cool to Xena and the caring, sharing playful sides of their relationship had vanished. The warrior was beside herself with fear that Gabrielle would leave her but also frustrated that the bard didn't share any of her emotions. Xena knew how destructive that could be. And as she got more irritated she got angrier at the bard which in turn made the bard even more withdrawn, and Xena more frustrated. She had shied away from any physical contact from Xena for the last month. The only exception was during the night when the nightmares came. Xena found a kiss and a hug settled her down and Gabrielle wouldn't let go bringing a smile to the warrior's lips. However that was only while the bard was half asleep, Xena made sure she released her hold and moved to the edge of the bed before the bard awoke fully.

That was the only physical contact they had, all of the caring little touches, caresses and kisses were gone. Xena was shocked how much she missed them. She had been so used to having her own private space; in fact she welcomed it, until the bard came along. Gradually a hug, a kiss, a soothing hand became the norm and Xena found she was aching for them. The warrior princess felt like she was living with a stranger-who was becoming more distant every day. Gabrielle appeared to have little interest in anything-Xena, her scrolls, food, even her Amazons. Xena knew how worried Ephiny, Piri and their friends were about her; even their gentle probings were met with resistance and unresponsiveness by the bard.

"Now what do you want for dinner?" A further sign of her isolation was that Gabrielle had been taking her meals in her hut away from the throng in the dinning hall. Xena had been fetching dinner for them both.

"You choose, anything is good," said Gabrielle with no enthusiasm.

"I think cook has made nut bread again," Xena said with a forced grin. "She must be trying to get in your good scrolls. I'll see what else there is, be back in a moment." She headed out of the hut and across the village to the dining room. Within minutes she returned laden with two plates full of stew and a loaf of nut bread, but on entering the hut she heard a gentle snore and found the bard asleep on the bed. She cursed, put the food down and covered the bard up without waking her. This had happened too many times before. Xena lost count of how many times she had eaten alone. She sighed and was about to settle down for another solitary meal, when she shook her head. She jumped up and grabbed her weapons and stormed out of the hut.

She marched to Epinon and Solari's hut. She banged on the door with her fist. Epinon came to the door. "Xena, what can I do for you?"

"Ten of your best fighters, Pony. The practice field. Now." Xena stood there breathing hard, her eyes blazing with anger, her body taunt as a coiled spring, containing as much tension. Epinon took one look at her and nodded.

Xena turned on her heels and left before Epinon could say anything.

Solari joined Epinon at the door and watched Xena walk to the practice field, totally oblivious to everything that went on around her. "Get ten you can trust," said Epinon. She didn't want any of the Valasca supporters witnessing Xena like this if she could help it. "And Eph; She'll want to know."

There was a small crowd that gathered on the field. The news had spread quickly within the village. Epinon stepped forward towards the impassive Xena. She threw her a practice staff. Xena gave it a cursory examination, looked up and then nodded at Epinon. Within seconds they had begun, and their intricate but deadly dance started.

Xena welcomed the physical activity. At least this was something she could control. She could push the horrors of the past months, the feeling of helplessness that at times overwhelmed her, her fear that the precious bond between her and Gabrielle would be irrevocably shattered. Xena felt energised as she always did when fighting. She was enjoying the freedom, the movement, and the challenge.

Epinon was dispatched with a blow to the ribs, and another Amazon took her place. All were fine fighters, but no match for Xena in this mood. Walia got a blow to the side of her face, but apart from that she was untouched until Aella. Aella was the last fighter, and Xena was tiring slightly. Despite calls for her to stop, she continued, and continued to fight with panache but she was caught across the shoulder and then the ribs. Momentarily stunned, she shook her head, and then rushed at Aella. She didn't reach her destination because Epinon blocked her path and Ephiny strode up and wrestled the staff from her hands.

"That's enough Xena."

Xena looked at Epinon, dumbly.

"Xena, look around. You're through everyone." Epinon pointed to the assortment of amazons holding various parts of their anatomy in discomfort.

Xena looked momentarily shocked and then bowed her head.

"Piri's got more than enough work." Ephiny grinned and put her arm around the warrior who suddenly appeared vulnerable and nervous. "OK people, "she shouted. "Show's over. Any injuries see Piri or Clonie." She watched as the crowd started to drift away.

"Come for a drink Xena."

Xena nodded, shook off the regent's arm and started to walk towards Ephiny's hut.

Xena sat down at a table. Epinon and Solari exchanged looks, while Ephiny poured wine into four cups. No one had said a word on the way back. Ephiny handed the cups around and Epinon gave Xena a wet cloth to wipe her face. She took her time wiping the sweat and dirt from her face, and when she finished and looked up she could see three pairs of eyes boring into her.

"Xena?" said Ephiny, simply.

Xena grasped her cup and finished the wine in one gulp.

"What happened?" asked Ephiny again. She knew that it was concern over Gabrielle that caused Xena to react like this but she wanted Xena to admit it. Epinon had refilled Xena's cup and again Xena again finished it in one gulp.

"Nothing," said Xena eventually. "Nothing happened, just as nothing's happened in last couple of months." She shook her cup at Epinon who exchanged a questioning glance with Solari and Ephiny before refilling the cup.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her." Xena looked away, not wanting her friends to see the depth of her vulnerability. They now exchanged knowing glances.

"Tomorrow, Piri can examine her fully. You too." Said Ephiny.

"What good will that do?" said Xena irritably. "It's up here." Xena tapped her head. "Yes she's looking a little pale, but she's been through Hades."

"Maybe it's something obvious," began Solari, "something that has been overlooked." She could feel herself wilting under the intense glare of the warrior princess, who had downed her third cup of wine. "Head injuries or fevers can change people's personalities," she said quietly and quickly and looked away.

"I've been with her every day. I would know." Xena spoke frostily.

"Look it's been a long day," Ephiny looked from one to another, and sensing that an emotional and increasingly intoxicated warrior might not be ready to have an in depth conversation regarding Gabrielle. "Xena tomorrow, Piri can check _you both _over. I'll invoke the code if I have to. We can't go on like this. This is not Gabrielle, and we need to help her. And you." She added as an after thought.

"Thanks." Xena nodded brusquely and gathering up the wineskin left the hut.

Why did I ever drink all that wine thought Xena as she opened her eyes and then shut them quickly? She managed to open them slightly and peer through the slits around the room. Good it's not spinning. Just my stomach then. She raised herself gingerly into a sitting position and looked across the bed. Gabrielle was gone. She put her hand over her eyes for a few seconds and then heard, "Not like you to sleep in." As was usual recently the voice was devoid of emotion. Xena put her hand on the bed and saw a fully dressed Gabrielle looking at her.

"Late night," said Xena and looked at the wineskin she had left on the table. Gabrielle said nothing but stared at the bruises that had formed on Xena's face and arm. "Drilling. Don't worry you should see the other guy." Xena's weak smile faded as Gabrielle didn't respond to the old joke. "Piri's going to look at them today." She took a deep breath, she knew the bard wouldn't be impressed at what she was about to say, "And you. Ephiny thinks it would be a good idea to make sure all your injuries are fully healed. And so do I. No arguments Gabrielle, Piri will invoke the Healer's code. She'll have you removed if you don't allow her to examine you."

Xena watched as for a heartbeat there was a look of panic on Gabrielle's face, but then the bard turned from her. Her eyes followed Gabrielle as she moved around the hut, still with her back to Xena, and when she eventually turned around she was carrying a cup of water. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed the cup on table by the side of the bed. Xena could hardly breathe as she watched Gabrielle's right hand slowly move towards her face. The sensation of the soft fingers gently stroking the discoloured cheek was so welcome, so yearned for; Xena could sense or feel nothing but them. She swallowed and shut her eyes, revelling in the touch that she had craved for so long. She knew she couldn't say anything or touch Gabrielle; her instincts told her then this magical moment would be lost. She opened her eyes and stared into green eyes full of pain. For a moment their eyes locked and then Gabrielle looked down and spoke so quietly that despite their proximity, Xena strained to hear her. "Hurt again because of me. It's not fair on you." Gabrielle removed her fingers and Xena felt the ache of their loss instantly. "I can't let you be hurt again." Gabrielle appeared to be speaking to herself but then she looked up and spoke clearly, "Always know I love you Xena," she said and gently moved her head closer and gave Xena a delicate kiss on her lips.

She abruptly stood up and turned and walked away from Xena. Xena was momentarily speechless, but when she recovered her wits called out, "Where are you going?"

The Gabrielle that turned around was again devoid of emotion. "I've a bit of work to do. I've got to see Ephiny."

"OK, I'll see you later," said Xena.

"Good bye Xena," said Gabrielle and left the hut.

Xena sat for several moments totally bewildered by the sudden change of personalities. She had seen _her_ Gabrielle again for a brief moment but the hardened shell of a woman had returned so quickly. She didn't know whether to feel hope that Gabrielle still obviously cared for her, or concern about her rapid change of mood. Conscious of her churning stomach she got up slowly, downed the cup of water and started to dress. She peered outside. The black clouds were gathering over the village. Must be a metaphor for my mood she thought, with irony. Be able to get a ride in before it rains she thought, and after grabbing two apples; one for her and one for the palomino she headed out of the hut.

Xena threw the hut door open and ran in. She had returned from her ride before the rain had started but as she was wiping Argo down the rain started and despite the short distance between the stables and the hut she was soaking.

"Gabrielle?" she called as she entered the hut. A glance around the hut showed her that Gabrielle had not returned since their chat. Xena quickly took her wet leathers off and after towelling herself down she put on a long tunic and trousers. Peering out the window she saw that everyone had taken cover, the village was deserted. The rain continued to hammer down. During her ride she had thought of nothing else other than this morning's conversation, and Gabrielle's peculiar behaviour. The more she thought about it, the more concern she felt, with a little kernel of fear starting in her stomach. She went to the closet and selected her winter cloak and hurried out the hut.

"You're absolutely soaked, Xena. What are you doing out?" Ephiny got up from her table and helped Xena take the now sodden cloak off and hang it in front of the fire.

"Looking for Gabrielle. Is she here?" Xena kept her voice light, betraying the concern she felt.

"No she's not," said Ephiny. "She popped in earlier and said she had some work to do. I assumed she meant in your hut."

"She's not been back since this morning." Xena's tone no longer masked her concern.

Ephiny sensed this, "OK, maybe there's an explanation. Perhaps she's seen Piri or been called into sort out a problem." Ephiny tried to think and talk calmly she could see the worry emanating from the blue eyes. "Aella," she called.

Aella entered the room. "Can you ask Sol and Pony if they've seen Gabrielle? And Piri. Thanks." Aella looked into the caramel eyes of her friend and read the unspoken plea. Find Gabrielle.


	16. Chapter 16

**Violence Disclaimer:** None in this chapter.

**Angst Disclaimer: **Oh yes! This chapter is full of it!

_Feedback would be gratefully received. _

Thank you for those who have reviewed! You are wonderful people.

The only sound was of Xena's footsteps as she walked back and forth as they waited for news. Ephiny knew it was senseless to talk to her while she was in this state. When the door opened, Xena ran to it, and couldn't hide her disappointment when it was Solari, Epinon and Piri.

"Well?" said the warrior princess irritably.

"I've got people asking around and checking in every dry spot in the village, and beyond. Maybe she went for a walk and got caught out by the weather," said Solari.

"So no one's seen her then?" said Xena quickly.

"No, it would appear not," said Solari quietly.

"I've got to find her," said Xena heading out the door.

"Warrior wait! Let's get as much information as we can before you rush out half cocked." Piri approached Xena who was rubbing her hand through her hair. She stopped and glared at the healer.

"Gabrielle has disappeared that's all the information we need at present," retorted Xena, coolly.

"And she might be sheltering in someone's hut," replied Ephiny trying to keep calm. The tension was rising with every passing second. "She won't be happy if you go charging around."

"Like she'd care at the moment," said Xena in an exasperated tone and she sunk onto a chair.

"What happened today Xena?" Piri asked.

Xena took a deep breath in. "For a few moments she was Gabrielle. She touched me, she showed emotion. Then bang, it was gone and she said she had work to do, and she said goodbye."

There was silence. "What did you talk about?" asked Ephiny meekly.

"I told her that Piri wanted to examine her. That she would force her if necessary. She then said I'd been hurt because of her." Xena fingered her bruises on the side of her face.

Piri nodded. "This ends now. We need to help her whether she likes it or not," said Piri. Everyone nodded in agreement. "I want everyone to list their concerns or thoughts, no matter how bizarre or petty. There must be something we are missing."

"How will that help find Gabrielle?" said Xena still angry.

"It might not, but it may help Gabrielle in the long term. Warrior, you are not the only person concerned about her."

"I know," whispered Xena, chastised.

"She's so quiet," said Ephiny sadly. "There's no banter no laughter. She insists she does all the paperwork so she avoids talking to anyone. Me included." She looked away blinking rapidly. Xena knew just how much that would be hurt the regent; their closeness was something that she had envied. "I ask her how she is and she says, "Fine" and that's the end of conversation. She has no interest in anything."

"We've noticed it too," said Solari. "There's no sparkle to her eyes, no warmth in her smile. It's like we are dealing with someone else, not Gabrielle."

Xena got up quickly. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think every time I look at her I wonder what's happened, whether she has finally grown tired of me, whether she blames me? Don't you think I regret she followed me that I allowed her to see and do things that weren't meant for her?" She screamed the words. "I don't know what to do?" She cried and turned to face the wall. "I don't know how to help her," she whispered, an admission she didn't ever want to make vocalised. Helplessness was not usually a feeling the warrior princess endured and the few number of times she felt it she didn't enjoy it at all. The small fear she held was growing and frustration and anger were increasingly coming to the surface, despite her best attempts. She felt she was slowly unravelling, trying to keep an emotional lid on the past months events, was now impossible. The damn had burst and the emotions she had bottled up were threatening to overwhelm her. She was struggling to control them.

Piri got up and walked to her. She turned her around and held her. "Let us help you," she said. "We're your friends, please lets us help you help the queen. Let's see if we can pinpoint a reason, anything that might help." Xena nodded and slumped into a chair.

"But wouldn't being viciously tortured and raped pretty much have caused this reaction," asked Solari nervously? "We know what some of the women who come to us are like."

"If she was like that from the beginning, maybe. But it wasn't always like that? In the beginning you were as close as usual, weren't you?" Said Piri. "She was recovering, she was talking about it. Something's changed."

"Does she talk about what happened now?" asked Epinon.

Xena shook her head.

"Did anything occur? A fight, any incident?" asked Piri thoughtfully.

"No," said Xena in a crushed tone. "That would have made it easier if I could have pinpointed an event, but she just became quieter and more withdrawn. I don't know what to say to her anymore without upsetting her. It's like walking on eggshells all the time." Xena got up and walked to the wall of the room and put one hand on it. "If I wasn't such a coward I would leave her. Maybe she'd be better without me."

Epinon walked to her and silently put her hand on her shoulder.

"I don't think it is you, warrior because she's the same with everyone." said Piri thoughtfully. "Anything, people, anything at all."

There was a pause and then Ephiny spoke up. "She rarely eats when she is with me. We always used to stop for a mid morning break, lunch, mid afternoon break, slightly later break, you get the idea." Ephiny grinned. "I do ask her, she usually says she isn't hungry or she'll get something, but-"Ephiny's voice drifted off as she became lost in thought.

"Regent?" Asked Piri.

"I thought I heard her retching. Come to think of it more than once. She said she was fine, as usual, and ended the conversation."

Xena and Piri exchanged a glance. "She complained once or twice of nausea to me, but that's it," said Xena. "We put it down to the pain medicine. She never seems to eat anyway and appears to have completely lost her appetite. She wears shapeless tunics and I haven't seen her naked for a while, I can't tell how much weight she has lost. "

"What?" said Piri sharply? "Didn't you use the cream I gave her for the lash marks? She told me you did?"

"She told me you did?" echoed Xena. They looked at each other confused.

"She won't let me touch her at all. It's as if she's frightened of me." Xena fell silent and was thoughtful but then spun around with a look of realisation on her face.

"What?" asked Epinon.

"Eph have you seen her faint or pass out at all?" Xena looked straight at the regent.

"No, although a couple of times she rose quickly and had to steady herself."

"It all fits. Oh Gods, oh Gods, "said Xena. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them her eyes were full of tears. She swallowed. "I think I know what part of the problem is. It's what you said yesterday Sol, about being obvious. It is so obvious now, and we did overlook it. Oh Gods I missed it." There were now tears rolling down her face.

"What Xena?" Asked Ephiny her voice full of concern.

"Gabrielle's pregnant." There were gasps after Xena delivered those words.

"Pregnant?" said Piri. "By Artemis, but, how, I never?" The healer appeared flustered. "She told me that she was cycling fine and you had sorted out her usual pain reliever."

"That's what she said to me; you treated her," said Xena. "The not eating, the introspection, the tiredness and listlessness. It's that. And that's why it wasn't immediate. She must have realised when she didn't cycle. Shapeless tunics masking any body changes, the paleness. It is so obvious now."

There was silence as they digested the news.

"How does that help us?" Asked Solari. "Why has it affected her so badly?"

"Her last pregnancy wasn't planned either was it," said Ephiny quietly. "And it must bring back memories." She glanced at Xena who was looking stony faced.

"She must have panicked thinking Piri would find out as she was going to be examined," Xena whispered.

"She's run away," said Epinon, and looked at Solari. "In her state she could have gone anywhere. We'll check to see how the search is going and then we'll organise a wider one."

"Solari, Epinon," began Piri.

"We won't tell a soul." With that Epinon and Solari left.

"I must go after her too," said Xena. Piri put her arm on her shoulder.

"You need to figure out what you are feeling. This affects you too." Xena looked at the healer and at Ephiny, Gabrielle's closest friend. This revelation would hurt them too. "I don't think she's just run away. I think she might-hurt herself. I think she was saying goodbye this morning."

Xena's face crumbled for a moment.

"Go then, warrior, bring her back safely. But you need to sort out your feelings. Don't promise anything that you can't deliver, however tempting it may be to say anything, or you'll be finished in the long term. Good luck." The healer gave Xena a stiff hug and left the room.

"I'm coming too," said Ephiny quietly and Xena nodded and they hurriedly left and headed for the stables.

Xena automatically saddled Argo and mounted her. She had no idea how long Ephiny had been calling her name, but when it suddenly registered she saw the Amazon was holding a winter cloak. Xena grunt her thanks and took the garment. She tried to order her thoughts that were in turmoil. Her overriding concern was over Gabrielle's safety. Even if she had not gone to harm herself, she was alone and at best soaked through, at worst; well Xena didn't want to think of that. Her next instinct was of fury towards Lindos. She felt an urge to ride off and find Lindos and torture him in payment for the anguish that Gabrielle had gone through; that they were both going through now. But the thoughts of the baby kept entering her head unbidden. Piri was right; she had to sort out her feelings towards it.

Xena closed her eyes and the tears ran down her face and mixed with the rain. Gabrielle's daughter killed her son, there was no denying that. Yet Gabrielle had abandoned her daughter and twice killed her. And sacrificed herself once in the process. For Xena. Only Hope wasn't a child merely a vessel for her father. And despite the fact Hope was identical to her mother there was nothing of Gabrielle in her. That had disappointed Gabrielle and Xena knew that the bard would never forgive herself for what she thought was her own failings. Oh Gabrielle, how wrong you were she thought with a pang, but I never told you, never comforted you about your loss because it reminded me so much of my own.

Could she stay with Gabrielle and watch her belly grow large with another child? Watch her lavish love and affection on something that had nothing to do with her? Accept that their life would change so dramatically, that she would no longer be the number one priority in the Bard's life? Could she accept the child despite its brutal conception?

She glanced across to Ephiny. Her face was emotionless but Xena knew how worried she was. If she chose not to stay with Gabrielle she knew that there was always a place for Gabrielle with the Amazons. Gabrielle and her child would be well cared for, revered even, within the bosom of her tribe. How would she feel if Gabrielle and Ephiny brought this child up together? She knew the depth of love the Regent had for Gabrielle. Xena shuddered. If she couldn't face staying with Gabrielle and the child it was something she may have to. But could she leave her? Travel though Greece without Gabrielle. Live some sort of life without her soulmate?

She thought how happy Solon was when he thought he was to be travelling with them. She remembered fondly how well Solon and Gabrielle bonded. Her son worshipped the bard as she regaled him with stories, shown interest in his lessons and had shown him several moves with her staff. Gabrielle had loved her child unconditionally just as she loved his mother. There were plenty of choices she could make, but there was really only she wanted to. She took two deep breaths in and turned to look at Ephiny who was watching her intently.

"Let's find her, Eph," she said shakily.

The regent nodded and they peered through the rain into the gloomy forest.

Ephiny whistled a bird call and turned to look back at Xena. The shake of her head was redundant as Xena could tell from her expression there was no news. Xena slumped forward before straightening out. She gave Argo's wet neck a pat. The rain was still falling steadily. Even though they had changed their cloaks they were soaked through.

"Which way?" asked Ephiny?

Argo raised her head and started to trot. Xena shrugged her shoulders.

"Good enough," said Ephiny. And she swung her horse behind.

Argo picked up speed. Xena merely held the reins loosely and gave her horse its head. All of the sudden the palomino came to a halt. Xena looked intently all around, squinting in the murkiness; the rain and dark clouds robbing the usual light from the afternoon sun. She smiled in relief. She saw Gabrielle in a small clearing sitting on the ground.


	17. Chapter 17

**Violence Disclaimer:** None in this chapter.

**Angst Disclaimer: **Oh yes! This chapter is full of it!

_**Feedback would be gratefully received. **_

**_Thank you for those who have reviewed! You are wonderful people._**

Xena dismounted, gave Argo a pat, and was joined by Ephiny who took hold of Argo's reins. "Go to her Xena. I'll wait here." Xena grasped the Amazon's upper arm, gave it a squeeze then let go and walked towards where Gabrielle was sitting. She could see Gabrielle's back to her and so decided to change direction so she would approach her from the front. She didn't want to startle her so she moved with more noise than was usual. The bird call told her that Ephiny was beginning to relay their news to the other searchers.

Gabrielle looked up when Xena was ten yards from her. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot and Xena was struck by how gaunt she looked. But what worried her more was that the bard held a knife in her hand.

"Gabrielle, please, put the knife down. I'm here for you." Xena inched her way forward.

Gabrielle shook her head.

"Please Bri, this is not the way. I love you. I need you."

"I don't want to hurt you Xena, any more. You don't deserve that. This is for the best." Gabrielle looked down and Xena moved even closer. When Gabrielle looked up and saw how close Xena had moved, she held the knife so close to her wrist it drew blood. Xena watched the rivulets of blood mixing with the rain and dropping onto the ground.

"For the best? What do you think it will do to me if you kill yourself? I can't live without you. Don't you know that? Gabrielle you're my life." She took a deep breath in. The time was now, "And I know about the baby. It makes no difference to me, Gabrielle. I love you."

Gabrielle looked at Xena with astonishment and in her shock, dropped the knife. In an instant Xena was there, first throwing the knife into a nearby tree and then falling to her knees she wrapped her arms around Gabrielle. The bard shuddered and sobbed and Xena said nothing and held tight.

Xena wasn't sure how long they sat there. Her hands moved all over the bard's back and arms. She wasn't sure if she was trying to warm the frozen bard up or after so long being denied contact she wanted to touch as much of Gabrielle as she could. The rain had eased slightly but they were both drenched and looking up she could see an anxious looking Ephiny joined by Aella.

"Gabrielle, we need to get back to the dry." Xena spoke quietly. She ripped some cloth from her cloak and bound it around the small cut on Gabrielle's wrist. Repositioning her hands she lifted Gabrielle up and started to walk towards the amazons and the horses. Argo knelt down as she approached and Xena raised an inquiring eyebrow at her horse. Aella covered Gabrielle with a dry blanket and Argo rose up and they walked back to the village in silence.

As they entered the village they were met by Piri, Epinon and Solari. Xena could see many amazons returning from the search watching in silence. Piri approached them and said, "Your hut is prepared. There is a fire, blankets and some broth." She tipped her head towards Gabrielle and Xena mouthed, "She's ok." She looked up and caught the concerned faces of Solari and Epinon. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

Argo sunk to the ground and Xena swung her legs around and stood up. "I could get used to this Argo." The horse neighed and brushed her head gently past Gabrielle's head. The bard moved slightly and gave a little smile towards the palomino. Xena tightened her grip on her. Up until then the bard had remained motionless in her arms, her head buried on her shoulder.

"Come on, let's get dry and warm."

Xena pushed the door and entered their hut. She gently laid Gabrielle on the bed and walked back to the door and closed it. As she walked towards the bed she started to shed her clothes, and grabbed one of the blankets that were piled high by the fire. She wrapped it around herself and then walked to the bed with several in her hand. Gabrielle was staring at the ceiling, looking terrified.

"Let's get you out of these clothes," said Xena gently. Gabrielle turned to look at her and she nodded. Xena gave her a reassuring smile and they eased her out of the soaking clothes.

It gave Xena a chance to see Gabrielle's body for the first time in weeks. It was obvious that despite the gentle swell of her previous flat stomach and the slight increase in her breast size, caused by the pregnancy, Gabrielle had lost a considerable amount of weight. Gabrielle saw Xena stare at her stomach and looked away. Xena cupped her face with her hand and turned it towards her. She smiled and then moved her hand down to Gabrielle's stomach and laid it flat on it. Gabrielle placed her right hand over it, and they both shared a shy smile.

"Let's get you dry," said Xena and she used the blanket to towel the bard dry. When she had finished she helped the bard on with a dry shift and piled several blankets on her. She could feel the coolness of the bard's skin and prayed that they would be spared a return of the fever.

"Thank you," said Gabrielle shakily. She was blinking rapidly and looked pale and weary.

"Let me bandage that cut and then try some broth then sleep. We can talk tomorrow," said Xena.

She saw the relief on Gabrielle's face. "I'm not sure I can eat anything," began Gabrielle.

"No, you have to. For you both." Gabrielle shook her head.

Xena sat on the bed and took Gabrielle's hand and started to bandage it. "Why aren't you eating? Is it nausea or something else?" Xena mumbled the words and looked away. The thought that the bard may have been trying to starve herself to death had occurred to her and was shattering to the warrior princess.

"I just lost interest in food," said Gabrielle. "I just can't face it any more, it turns my stomach."

"OK, well I've got some herbs to try, plus ginger is very good and there's the pressure point. Also lets try little and often. I've been guilty of filling up your plate, no wonder you've felt ill." Xena looked despondent.

"You were doing your best Xena, thank you." Gabrielle patted her hand and sat up propped up by the pillows.

"Let's see what Piri has left," Xena went to the table and sniffed at a couple of bottles. She poured the contents of one into a mug and added some broth. "That should help, just let it cool and it'll settle your stomach." She put the mug on the table beside the bed. Gabrielle looked at her. She gave her another shy smile. It was like a soothing balm on an injured sore. Xena drank it in. She handed Gabrielle the mug and she sipped it.

After many glares from Xena, Gabrielle finally finished the broth. She eased herself gingerly down the bed. Xena was still perched on the edge of the bed and she gently ran her hand through Gabrielle's hair. She revelled in the soft feeling of her hair, being able to touch the bard after so long was bliss.

"Stay please," said Gabrielle sleepily.

"Forever." Replied Xena simply.

Gabrielle lightly patted the side of her and after rolling her eyes dramatically Xena eased herself into the bed. She was even more delighted when Gabrielle timidly moved towards her and put her head on Xena's shoulder. Xena gave a smile as she wrapped her arm around her and within minutes they both were asleep.

When she awoke in the morning the first thing Gabrielle felt was Xena's arms around her. She snuggled in tighter and as she opened her eyes she saw that Xena's blue ones were already open and staring at her.

"Good morning," Gabrielle said. "Have you been awake long?"

"Long enough," said Xena and gently kissed the bar's lips. "I've been enjoying the view."

They both smiled and Xena hugged her even tighter. "I missed you," the warrior said shakily. "I missed touching you, you touching me. I was grateful for those nightmares," she said quietly. "Sorry." Gabrielle looked confused and then she realised why.

"I let you comfort me. Oh Xena, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shut you out."

"Don't. No blame. No guilt, OK?"

Gabrielle nodded, and screwed her face up and started to sob. "I'm so sorry Xena. I was scared of losing you. How could you stay with me knowing I was carrying that man's child," she blinked the tears from her eyes. Xena rubbed circles on her back and bit her lip. Gabrielle continued," I felt so ashamed and that I let you down."

"You didn't let me down, Gabrielle. Don't ever think that."

"I was scared," said Gabrielle between sobs. "You'd leave me." Xena's heart broke at that admission. She knew that today would be painful for both of them but it would help them heal. She was sure the bard would open up now her secret was known. "I...Was" sob, "worried you… won't be able to face… my child," sob, "or love it." Xena said nothing but carried on rubbing Gabrielle's back.

"I'm scared of my own baby, what if I won't love it?" Gabrielle's voice was stuttering and faltering.

"Of course you'll love it, we both will. I love you Bri, and I will love this baby because it's yours."

"Xena what if my child-" she tried to pull away from Xena but the warrior kept a tight grip on her, "is like Hope?" She whispered the last three words.

"Hope was all Dahok; there was nothing of you in her. She was inhuman. Lindos is a brute but he's a mere mortal. And he'll have nothing to do with this child."

Gabrielle sobbed even harder. Xena said nothing until Gabrielle's sobs quietened down.

"OK?" she said sincerely. Gabrielle nodded.

"Breakfast time. You my bard are staying in bed for the day. You've no fever, but I'm not taking any chances."

"Xena I'm pregnant not ill. You ran an army when you were carrying."

"And you've got the amazons to look after. So enjoy the rest."

"Will you stay with me?" The bard sounded so vulnerable that Xena couldn't help but smile. After so much apathy it wonderful to feel wanted and loved.

"I think I can arrange that." She kissed Gabrielle's forehead and moved to the fire and started to bank it.

"Well?" Xena had barely enough time to cross the threshold before being accosted by Piri and Ephiny. Both looked as if they had a sleepless night.

"Breakfast." Said the warrior and took a few steps towards the dining hut.

You know what we mean!" said Ephiny angrily.

Xena smirked and turned to face them. "We're getting there. She knows I know about the baby. And she's admitted she was scared." Xena glanced back at their hut. "There's a lot more to come, but it's a start."

Piri nodded. "And how are you?" Xena was about to open her mouth but Piri interrupted. "This must bring back painful memories."

Xena thought for a moment. "She loved Solon, no questions asked. There's a lot we both feel guilty about with Hope. This is the least I can do for her."

"Slightly different Xena "said Ephiny. She swallowed and turned to face Xena. "Are you doing this out of obligation Xena? Because that is a sure route to failure." Ephiny looked stony faced.

Xena gave her a look of ferocity back. Then she broke into a smile because she knew the answer was in her heart and would satisfy Ephiny.

"It's a second chance for us both. We can raise this baby together. I love her. It's not an obligation. And Ephiny-"

The regent showed a flash of fear.

"Don't ever change. You're as much her champion as I am."

Ephiny was embarrassed by the compliment and looked away but Piri gave a slight smile.

"Any fever?" asked Piri becoming businesslike again.

"No. And the herbs seemed to work. She finished a cup of broth."

"I'll be in later to examine her. Much later," the healer added.

"Come on Xena, before the Queen wonders what is keeping you."

"You realise that you may have to warn the hunters that Gabrielle is eating for two," said Xena mischievously.

"Don't say it too loudly, we may have mass resignations. And that's from the deer and rabbits." Ephiny smiled back and they headed into the dining hut.

Xena caught sight of the red swollen eyes and tear stained face before it turned away. She quickly put the tray down on the table and walked to the side of the bed. She knelt on the floor beside it and grasped Gabrielle's hand.

"Gabrielle."

Silence.

"Please, tell me."

There was a long silence and Xena was about to ask again when Gabrielle spoke.

"I treated you so badly. I ignored your feelings."

"Like I did to you when we first met." Xena gave a little smile, but Gabrielle looked away. The warrior gently cupped her face with her hand and brought it around.

"It doesn't matter. We're fine now." Xena looked into the green eyes that reflected so much emotion. She could see the fear in them. "You were scared. Tell me about it."

Gabrielle swallowed. "My daughter killed your son and I was pregnant. How could I expect you to accept it, or me? I became confused, my feelings were running all over the place. Anger, hate, guilt, it changed from one minute to the next."

Gabrielle's mouth quivered and she gave Xena a shy smile. Xena gave her a reassuring smile back and kissed the top of the bards head.

"I didn't know what to think or feel so it was easier to withdraw. From you, the Amazons. I kept thinking of what happened in Britannia." Gabrielle lowered her eyes, but Xena cupped her face and brought her head upwards.

"Everything became confused and I was convinced you'd want my baby dead. I wasn't sure how I felt, I was so bewildered," the bard's words came tumbling out, "and I didn't know who to talk to. I couldn't rationalise it so how could I explain it to anyone else. I was scared of having the baby but of losing it too. And I was scared of losing you. I didn't want to have to choose between my child and my soulmate again." Xena looked embarrassed, but Gabrielle gave her a weak smile. "I couldn't think of anything, Xena, apart from telling you and I was convinced that you'd leave me for good when you knew. That's why I couldn't bare for you to touch me; I was convinced you could sense I was pregnant if you hugged me. Oh Xe, I was so crazy, so stupid. I was losing you anyway because of my indifference." She started to sob. Xena cradled her and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, I should have trusted you."

"You should have," said Xena quietly. "But I understand why you didn't. Hormones, Gabrielle, they are racing around during pregnancy making your feelings seem magnified. There was so much going on, so much for you to get your head around. You've just been brutally attacked; raped, watched one of your best friend critically injured and saw loved ones act like you were dirt. You find out you are pregnant-in circumstances that are far from ideal and remind you of your previous pregnancy. By the gods Bri, no wonder you were so bewildered. I just wish you'd let me share the burden." Gabrielle nodded wordlessly and lent into Xena's shoulder. They stayed like that for several minutes until Xena pulled away. "Breakfast for bards. It'll make you feel better."

"This makes me feel better," said Gabrielle with a shy smile.

Xena grinned; the long and rocky healing process was starting and this time she was convinced they would complete it.

"Hey," said Xena to a slightly disorientated Gabrielle.

"How long did I sleep?" She rubbed her eyes and pushed herself up.

"Long enough to miss Ephiny. She said she'd come back."

Gabrielle looked away with tears in her eyes. "I treated her so badly. All of you."

Xena moved across and sat next to her on the bed. "They're your friends. They understand."

"I don't." Gabrielle bowed her head. "When I think how I was." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

Xena wrapped an arm around her.

"It's understandable. It's a shock, but we'll get through this together."

Gabrielle looked away, her expression unreadable.

"Talk to me, Gabrielle. Don't bottle it up."

"Do you mean what you said about the baby? You don't have to stay with me, you know? I do understand." Gabrielle's voice became a whisper.

"Do I ever say anything I don't mean? This baby will be ours, mine and yours."

Gabrielle turned to look into the blue eyes. The eyes she could read so well. She could only see love and devotion in them. No hint of disquiet or alarm. "Are you sure?"

Xena nodded.

"Thank you," her voice cracked with emotion and the bard laid her head on Xena's shoulder.

They sat like that for several minutes. "There's more recovering to do. You need to talk about it. We need to work through things. But not now. There's no rush."

Gabrielle gave her a weak smile.

"But now it's tea time!" Xena jumped up and went to the table and started to make tea. Gabrielle watched, joy and happiness flooding her heart. The situation was far from ideal. It was taking them down a path they hadn't planned. But they were doing it together. She hadn't dared to hope that Xena would be so supportive but she knew she shouldn't have underestimated her. Her overwhelming fear that Xena would leave her; or be repulsed by her was receding. For the first time in months, she felt they had a future. Most importantly together.

When Xena finished making the tea she brought the two mugs and a plate of biscuits. She put the mugs down by the side of the bed. "These have got ginger in; it's very good for nausea." The bard smiled and took a couple and started to nibble on one of them. Xena watched anxiously her face etched with concern. Gabrielle giggled spluttering crumbs everywhere.

"What?" said the confused warrior?

"You Xena worrier mother hen," the bard smiled. "Thanks," she added warmly.

"I'll get you bard," Xena said laughing and she looked down at the smiling face.

"You already have," said Gabrielle tenderly, "you already have."

_THE END._


End file.
